As a culture and as human beings, we spend about as much time talking about and thinking about our relationships and our relationship status as we do about how we are going to pay our bills and lose five lbs. Millions of dollars, maybe even trillions of dollars, are spent trying to find the one, make the one we have better, and decide if the one we have is really the one we want!
In all of these questions about our ‘relationships,’ we often get mixed up and lose sight of what we are really after – LOVE. So we continue to live with a craving that never gets satisfied – we are hungry for love, but we are feeding ourselves the wrong food. It’s not your fault – your mind has gotten all confused because of the misunderstandings about love that run rampant in our society. Today we take a step towards getting your mind and your life in alignment with the truth about love by empowering you with three of the most powerful rules of love and daring acts that will help you employ them – which when applied will not only give you the relationships you want, but more importantly the love that you need.
Love Rule #1: Focus on Love, not Relationships. There is a big misunderstanding that love and relationships are the same thing – while they are related, they are not the same. Most of us walk around saying or thinking we want a ‘relationship,’ when in reality what we really need and desire is more love, in one of its many forms – connection, friendship, intimacy, compassion, companionship, affection, acknowledgement and the list goes on. Change your focus to cultivating love and to generating the energy of that love you desire in your life instead of on finding or fixing a relationship and you’ll find that you have more love and better relationships as a result.
Daring Act of Love: Ask for what you really want – LOVE. If you are single, stop saying, “I want a relationship.” Start being specific about the love energy you want to pull in, “I am so ready to receive love from an awesome, compassionate, loving life partner” or “I am so ready to receive love from a sexy, sweet lover and companion.” If you are in relationship and desire more, be specific about what you desire to receive from this person, and be willing to give it, too, “I’d love to receive more affection and intimacy” or “I’d love to receive more companionship and closeness.” Notice how saying these words invokes the energy of the L-O-V-E right away! Which leads to #2.
Love Rule #2: Every relationship starts with the relationship you have with yourself. Okay, so you’ve probably heard this one but are you really living it? I haven’t met a person yet who couldn’t stand to improve the relationship that they have with themselves. And if something isn’t working for you in getting the love you desire from out there, then you need to find what’s first not working with the love and relationship you have with yourself.
Daring Act of Love: Take Yourself Out On A Romantic Date, Ask Yourself What You Really Need, And Listen. When’s the last time you had a heart to heart with yourself? How long would you put up with a person you were dating or married to if they weren’t having deep and personal conversations with you? Hopefully not very long! Create intimacy with yourself by spending the evening journaling on the question, “What do I really need right now? To feel loved? To be happy? To be healthy? To feel safe and secure? To feel seen?” Then after you get all that information from yourself, make a promise to yourself to make sure you receive the love you need.
Love Rule#3: Love Always Creates More Love. Not getting the love you need? Then BE LOVE. The energy you feel inside and that you put out there into the world comes back to you – simple Law of Attraction.
Daring Act of Love: Be a Love Generator and make love for yourself. Don’t wait to receive love from someone else – you have the power to create it right now for yourself. Here’s how – do a Self-Love Soak every morning! Before you get out of bed, close your eyes, curl up in a loving ball, hug yourself and tell yourself, “Your Name, I love you.” Keep saying these love words until you generate love, until you feel that warm tingly feeling of love in your body. Even if it’s just a little bit at first, keep generating love this way until it comes naturally and in big waves. Fake it til’ you make it – make love that is!
And here’s a bonus rule – Be unafraid to admit you need love – we all do. If you fear people thinking you are weak for needing love, then you weaken your ability to receive it. Be daring – desire love, need love and let love in when it shows up at your heart’s doorstep!
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Christine Arylo, m.b.a., writer, speaker and teacher, is an inspirational catalyst who teaches people how to put their most important partnership first, the one with themselves, so that they can create the love and life their hearts and souls crave. The popular author of the go-to guide on love & romantic relationships, Choosing ME before WE www.mebeforewe.com, and the self-love handbook, Madly in Love with ME, coming out this fall, Arylo is the founder of the international day of self-love (Feb 13). Check out her free Self-Love Kit at www.ChooseSelfLove.com.