There’s a lot of talk these days about “being authentic” and sharing “your truth”. And while I certainly think these are important things, many times these terms have been used to justify being a straight up brat and instead of “being vulnerable” we tend to spew it all out without grace or awareness of others.
There’s a huge difference between tactfully sharing how you feel and what is true for you and being unaware of how this lands for others.
I think we are in danger of creating an “authentic brat no boundary spiritual vomit” community if we are not careful.
Ultimately the measure of your spiritual progress is not in your vocabulary or in your alter design. It’s not in how much you pray or meditate. It’s not in how much yoga you do or how alkaline your body is.
At the end of the day: do others feel loved in your presence?
This is the spiritual bottom line.
Forget your spiritual vocabulary – how do you show up? What is your intention? How do others feel in your presence?
These are the valuable questions we must begin to ask ourselves.
As it relates to sharing your truth – this is something that must be done. However, it must be done in a graceful, loving and compassionate way. It’s important to be aware of how what you say lands for others.
And while your are not ultimately responsible for how others feel or take what you say, you can do your best to help truth land in a way that cares for and elevates others, rather than tearing them down or judging them.
The best way we’ve seen to do this is to stay in your experience. Say what’s true for you. Say how you feel. The actual emotion of how you feel. Not how you feel by calling someone else a name.
Better to say, “I feel unseen when you do this”. Rather than, “I feel like you are an asshole for doing this.”
When we stay in our experience and take ownership for how we are showing up, we put ourselves in a situation where others are more receptive to hearing our truth.
And while we can’t make your truth hurt proof, what we can do is help it to land in a way where other people understand where you are coming from.
Sometimes your truth can hurt.
I’m leaving you – that can be your truth. And that can sting. But when you stay in your lane and own your experience, it makes the truth able to be heard in a way that will be a lesson rather than a trauma.
Also, check yourself. Why are you sharing what you are sharing? Ask yourself, “Will sharing this genuinely uplift or help the person I’m sharing it with?”
Truths that hurt can uplift, however, spewing your baggage can be damaging.
Look into the eyes of the person you are sharing your truth with. Don’t hold back because you are scared – but do your best to elevate them, even if it hurts temporarily.
Don’t hold back because you are scared of their reaction; stand strong in what you need to say. Say what you mean, just don’t say it mean.
The quality of our lives is in direct relationship to how many uncomfortable conversations we are willing to have.
Don’t put off these conversations, have the courage to have them. And do it in a way that serves those you are talking to.
They will be eventually grateful you did.
Have the courage to speak up. And make your intention to love others as you do.
In the comments let me know how you plan to lovingly speak up today.
Lots of LOVE from Athens,
P.S. Take what resonates and leave the rest.