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A life changing practice to turn fear into power!

mk_treesI know that I am on the brink of BIG change in my life when I feel fear. Not the kind of fear you feel when you see a dangerous person in a dark alley, I’m talking about the kind of fear that only BIG change can bring.

For me, when opportunity comes, I usually want to hide in my bed or under something. I want to retreat and not go out into the world. It is EXACTLY moments like this that I know I must keep going.

What’s funny is that in moments like this in the past, when I wanted to retreat, I would retreat. But what’s ironic and funny about that is when we don’t act because we are afraid, we stay stuck in the thing we’re afraid of.

Does that make sense?

Not acting because we are afraid is what keeps us afraid and typically not acting; because we are afraid is what MANIFESTS the outcomes we are afraid of.

It’s totally ironic how that works, isn’t it?

So, what we must do is SLOWLY start to prove our fear wrong. And RIGHT before any major breakthrough is when fear is at its greatest. This is a pattern I see ALL the time in my life, especially recently because I’ve had to step out into a lot of unknowns lately. And what’s cool is that on the other end, I always come through the other side OK. So my NEW practice is to apply the feeling of being OK BEFORE I step into what I’m afraid of, and hold that mindset as I’m going through the fear.

It’s a powerful practice!

So, what areas of your life are you afraid to embrace?

What action are you not taking out of fear?

Can you see that you are holding your own expansion back by NOT taking action?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

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  • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

    Yes!  This makes total sense!  A saying I heard from somewhere years ago, that has served me very well since then is this:  “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?”  Then DO that! 
    As you said, we’re often paralyzed by fear…and not the fear that is actually beneficial.  By asking myself that question, I know what I need to do, despite being afraid, and it helps me to actually do it.  It really works for me. 

    My biggest fear is standing up for myself in relationships (well, after dying of course).  I have been a doormat in virtually ALL my past relationships.  Finally in my most recent one I started standing up for myself and speaking my truth.  And the guy didn’t bail!  It was a truly eye-opening experience for me.  Finally I spoke my ultimate truth in that relationship – that I needed to be alone again – and I am.  He was exactly who and what I needed at the time, but I don’t believe he’s the one for me for the rest of my life.  I need to let him go (even though he IS a good guy). 

    But what’s funny is I was recently reading past journal entries… from 12 years ago (when I was 23).  I had written about my relationship at that time.  Boy did I know some stuff at the age of 23!!  Where did that knowledge go?  I marveled at the things I “learned” from that relationship, but then I repeated the same “mistakes” in my most recent one.  Huh. 
    I believe the Universe sends us experiences until we REALLY learn what we need to learn.  Apparently I hadn’t learned it yet, and that’s why I kept getting similar issues in relationships.  I’m hoping I finally got it, though I suppose only time will tell. 

    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/02/i-should-listen-to-my-23-year-old-self.html 

  • Sandy

    I have the tendency to overthink things in a lot of areas of my life. This has held me back in lots of ways . Fearing that things won’t go perfectly or the way I think they should would stop me from trying or changing things. I am learning to trust myself, my intuition ,the universe and know that”all will be well.” What I have found is things usually turn out better than planned and my increasing confidence at putting myself thru a risk or change always makes me more willing to face my fear and show up for things I otherwise would have retreated from. Loved this post!!

  • Reybe

    Mastin,
    You are so amazing.  You always seem to write about the exact situation that I am going through when I’m going through it.  Thank you so much for your honesty.  I thought that I was the only one that wanted to stay in bed because the fear was so intense, but I too am seeing that it is the precurser of a Major Shift.  I hope that I can focus on the Shift and through the Fear.  As I practice this skill, I know that I will get better at it, and reach newer and greater places in all areas of my life.  Thank you so much for this post.

  • Nel07

    I quit my job and booked a flight to another country to look for a new job. I’m really scared, and there’s a lot of scenario running through my mind, especially, what if I failed? I’ve been dreaming about this for a long time, living and working abroad..

    • Alely

      Nel ,
      You are not alone! I did almost the same thing except I quit my job here in the states… I’m pretty sure it’s just as scary as if I had moved to another country. I did this on Dec 15. But I’m sure Ill either find a way-or make one. Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine, we were born to do stuff like this. Challenge the things that go against what makes us happy. I believe it. You should too. Breathe deep and press forward. Much love!!!

      • Nel07

        Thank you so much for your support Alely! I will keep moving forward!

    • Theresa

       I quite my job back in June 2012 to travel to Cambodia and work there for the summer. I was definitely scared and it took me 6 months to do it. It was definitely very scary because it was all volunteer work and ended by late summer, which meant I would have nothing to come back to in just a few short months job wise. But, it was an amazing opportunity to finally get away from a job I had settled for that was physically, spiritually, and emotionally the most draining experience I’ve ever gone through. When I got back, it was very stressful to find new work, but because of my short experience in Cambodia, doors opened for me that I never thought would!
      Have faith Nel! That is was got me through the fear of taking what I thought could turn out to be a very big mistake. There is a wonderful quote that I hope will encourage you just as it did for me:
      “Believe in your epiphanies.
      Believe in yourself.
      Take action.
      And watch the world conspire to support you.”

      Wishing you the best of luck Nel!

      • Nel07

        Thank you for your support Theresa, it means a lot! :)

    • Craig

      Fear not as there is nothing to fear except that it is the darkness that keeps you from love and success. Let your light shine on whatever you’re going to do. Negative thinking brings negative results. Best to you in whatever you do.

  • Katie

    What Mastin has said DOES make sense. What doesn’t make sense to me though, is deciding – what is fear, and what is your head saying ‘I don’t want to’. Scenario: my high school reunion, 2 years since graduation. I don’t want to go, because I don’t want to be told all the things I should be doing with my life, like I was in high school by who I thought were my friends, especially since I’ve just changed my plans for the future. Or, am I scared of going because I worry this will be the outcome, and the fear is irrational? That’s what I don’t understand. But having said that, when I know I can feel *genuine* fear, I’m getting much better at pushing through and realising that only means the outcome/’expansion’  is going to be super amazing.

  • Dolphn1

    Mastin–thank you! I am, very much, entering big change in my life. This is change that I have prayed for and it’s here and I am scared witless! I laughed when you wrote that you wanted to hide under the bed. Testify, brother! Fear has me by the throat, but it’s grip is a little less tight after reading your honest words and I will keep reading them to make sure that even thought I feel the fear–I will not give up! Thank you so very much! You wrote exactly what I needed to hear! God bless! Lori

    • Dolphn1

       Just wanted to change the “it’s” grip to “its:. A little compulsive with spelling….working on it.

  • Maya Northen

    I love this! I recently read somewhere (don’t remember where, unfortunately) that “in this moment, everything is ok.”  As you said, what we fear are the outcomes, the consequences, etc. It’s not generally what’s going on right now  – the exception perhaps being going through some terrifying natural disaster or something like that.  So I have started to use fear as an indicator that I need to take action. I’ve begun calling myself out on my fear, which often takes the form of procrastination with a tons of “reasons” why I “can’t” do something right now. It’s made such a difference, and I find I’m so proud of myself when I push through the fear. I’ve actually started adding in my journal one fear, no matter how small, that I’ve overcome each day. It could be as silly as introducing myself to the neighbor I’ve never said high to until now. But it’s something, and it forces me to make at least a tiny step in overcoming fear every day. 

  • cute_batet

    Living in fear is not a good way to live but somehow living in that comfort zone became the best solution for most people (including me).  Knowing the outcome, even though it already hurts too much to bear seem like the best place to stay.  But when God wants to steer you in your destined path, it is our choice to move to that direction or be stubborn enough to stay put where it’s comfortable and yet paralyzes us.  I am currently struggling in a phase where I have to face my fear of the unknown and let go of my comfort zone.  There are times when I desperately want to go back just to ease the pain but I have to follow that voice that keeps telling me to move forward and not backwards.  Something is much bigger and better waiting for me even though I have no idea what it is.  But I firmly believe in my heart that it would be a thousand times better than what I had in mind.  :O) 

  • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    I remember how I was scaring myself BIG TIME when I  first published my blog. Why? Because I was allowing some of my greatest struggles to be read by all my FB friends and ???. I was in the…GOOP (Good Opinion Of People). So, I went through the fear and changed my life. How? By being of service. I am living on purpose. I am happier and happier. I knew I was going to help people help themselves by holding a mirror to their face. I have always been a storyteller, and it was timely to share my crazy life. Now, I am in and out of creating a new fear. I have chosen to VIDEO a LIVING LOVE class facilitated by Cinnamon Lofton. So now, people will see me and MY EGO. Up close and personal. Hmmm…am I REALLY willing to expose the illusion? “But, most people don’t know it is an illusion,” says my clever EGO. My heart responds, “Shhhhh…you do.” People need to see with their own eyes what I have been writing about. They will see a recently divorced couple go through the pains of an affair and how LIVING LOVE has brought them together as one. It has to be seen to believe. It is REALITY TV that will be like no other. And, how can I ignore a whisper from my soul all because of ???? (The imagined future). Stay tuned…
    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ 

  • Pamela Riquelme Paredes

    I can definitely relate to fear of moving forward.  I started a website with a friend and I have kept it very quiet because of what would happen if I tell the world.  Oh my.  But here it goes.  Time to fly.  Below is something I wrote a few days ago:  

    WHY ARE WE SO AFRAID TO LET GO

    There are so many people that understand where they are at.  They need to make a change in their lives, change their patterns on who they date, friends, work but choose to stay.  Fear of the unknown, fear of where do we go after we let go, fear of hurting others, fear of others falling apart without us.  Reality in life is yes once you take that leap of faith and let go, clear the layers of patterns that are not healthy you end up in a place of extreme vulnerability.  It is very scary to be real and look in the mirror and see who we truly are.  Will we love ourselves or will we see a monster we can’t stand.  Who are we, who is my authentic self?  Fear of the real you is so strong in each of us but why.  Why are we so afraid to be us, afraid of our light?  If you look at children and their smiles of genuine love, love for themselves, for their family, for their neighbor their friends.  Their love is unconditional to life and especially to themselves.  What makes us so afraid of that unconditional love?  Why do we let that go and put on layers of protection from allowing that love to flow out and accept it when it comes to us because we are worth it and we deserve it.The big puzzle is what have we done to ourselves.  What have we done to our society to create it this way.  Why does it continue to be so scary.  I was writing the other day and I realized I am at a place with no layers and it feels empty, empty of the known.  I want to fill it up with old patterns, habits that are familiar to me but I catch myself.  The other day I was in a situation where I started feeling tingling on my arm and body.  I knew that was anxiety of not knowing exactly what to do at the moment.  What I heard is this, “Pamela you don’t need to reach out to that old pattern.  It is not in you at this moment so don’t create it.  You want something familiar, something to grasp on to, grasp onto God, love, light and trust it is with you as it always has been.  Inside of you, you are love, you are light and it is always in there to reach and help you through anything.  You are created with love, light of heaven so nothing, nothing in this world is more powerful or stronger than what is in you.  Feel it, know it and embrace it, do not diminish it for sake of others who are afraid of it.  No, you will not always know what is coming up next in life but enjoy the fact you have free will.  Free will to create your life and no one has control over that, over you, only you and choices you make.  Make choices that make you smile, laugh, sing.  Life will always happen, things will happen that you have no control of but embrace those moments.  Walk the emotion of sadness and allow the tears to flow but do not latch on to negativity. The world is not coming to an end the world is just shifting just like you shift.  Nothing is suppose to stay stagnant because then what would be the purpose of this amazing adventure to be human which was chosen by you to take part in.  Always, always remember you are a soul having a human experience.  Now love yourself and don’t be afraid of trust, of the light.  Light, love clears things in magical ways so every day is new, and every day you have the gift of creating a new experience.  Fear is an emotion you chose to latch onto as to not move forward because every time you move forward everything around you changes.   Life is supposed to always be changing.  No control of yourself, you imprison yourself when you don’t allow life to flow through you.  So much more to say but for now this will do,  Think about a life of no control, of freedom to just live and breathe and know life will continue all around you and you will continue because today you are here and tomorrow the possibilities are endless.”The world loves us and and smiles and is so proud of the courage and amazing strength we have within us.  Now we must embrace ourselves and use our power. With Love from the highest place imaginable, Your Heart.Pamela

    My web page is honoringallthatis.com.   Mastin thank you for helping me with choosing courage today.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mara-Sharpes-Maxwell/100000490864025 Mara Sharpes Maxwell

      Thanks for choosing courage, because I wouldn’t have read this and connected with it! You are Amazing! 

  • http://meaningfulmag.com/ MM

    I’d like to tell on myself and hold myself accountable. I’m pretty good at doing and putting in the footwork, but I often ease into it by creating “time wasting actions” like overly researching something, pretending like I must have X, Y, Z lined up before I jump in. 

    This. Is. Silly.  Understandable, but silly.  God bless me for being scared. It’s very cute. But there is no need.

    I’m going to reframe my current daunting situation. Think what immersion strategy I’d offer to a friend or colleague and hold myself to that.

    Funny, I’ve been praying to find out what to do next.  And here’s this post in my email.  Amazing how that works!
     

  • http://www.facebook.com/kaylle.tedesco Kaylle Tedesco

    I have gone through 3 times in my life where I have felt MAJOR fear and fear’s friend anxiety has always come along.  As I looked back I also saw the same pattern in my life.  Great change comes from great fear.

    To get past the fear I feel from the unknown, I have to always remind myself that “The fear I’m fealing is only change and will lead to BIG growth.” 

    It actually helps me to turn that fear into love or a positive thing.  If we think about all of the gifts in our lives that we love, fear has almost always lead before that.  So as I look at the major fears I go through…. I know GREAT gifts will be available to me.

  • http://twitter.com/breathebalance Carrie Garcia

    Thank you for this Mastin.  I recently separated from my husband of 14 years and it has been very difficult.  I was and am afraid.  I knew though, that if I didn’t make a change, things would stay the same and I was receiving signs that I could not continue to live in that “sameness”.  I am in my 40’s and living relatively alone for the first time in my life (my 13 year old son is with me half time).  I have nights of uncontrollable sobbing and I have thoughts that I should go back but when I sit in silence and ask for the will of the Divine to be known by me- I feel peaceful where I am and I know that even if this was a mistake, it was the right mistake because I stepped into the unknown and it is there that I am able to create newness.

  • http://www.magi-anne.com/blog LisaB

    The timing of  your post is confirmation that I am on the right track.  Recently, I had to walk through one of my own fears.  The way I reacted to the situation you would have thought I was running from demons, and I suppose in some way I was.  A life long issue resurfaced…regarding family and boundaries.  I thought I had out smarted myself and everyone else by putting physical and emotional distance between me and a family member, but I didn’t.  Anyhow,  I KNEW I had to stand up for myself.  Some may think this is no big deal, but I have a difficult time doing this because I hate causing others emotional pain  I always choose to suffer instead of purposely causing harm to another.  Well, I had finally had enough of hurting myself by the choices I made, so I faced my fear and set some healthy boundaries for myself.  It took a day or so to feel good about my decision, but today I feel lighter.  I know I have made big strides towards my own emotional, mental and MOST importantly, spiritual growth. 

    The thing is  –  the universe is confirming my actions, because in the last couple of days I’ve seen other articles, vlogs, and passages in books that are talking about walking through our fears.  That you for being a part of this miracle.

  • Ksenia

    Thank you so much for this post, Mastin. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past few days – hiding under my bed. I am quitting my job, I’ve just published my blog and I have no idea what happens next, I am a single mom to a toddler, so I have a few fears over money issues. I am sure that I am doing the right thing, I can feel this is the right path, but it’s still scary, very unknown and very scary.

  • Yazmine

    Perfect words in the perfect moment :-) Thank you !!!
    Now i know where i´am !
    And during i read the lines i realize that there is a double meaning for me
    in “not acting”. I´am an Actress and worry about that i didn´t work in my
    profession since a two years. And because i´m worry i didn´t act –
    in Life & Profession! I stuck !!!

    Wow, what a crazy circle …. ! Need to get out of here and start to ACT !

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for “your daily LOVE”

  • Vickiscarborosli

    Brilliantly stated!! Thank you for such clear perspective. The timing is divine. You are a blessing!!

  • Craig

    I am amazed with how this wonderful generation is using technology to wake up others to what is real. Only love is real. It seems that you have an opportunity to reach so many souls. This is exciting to me as I, and my contemporaries are getting ready to move on and let the next generation carry the message of love to the masses. I’m excited about that. I have a hard time keeping up but I’m learning everyday. I ponder when this will eventually hit critical mass. Seems like there is still a long way to go but maybe it’s closer than we think. I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love what it can do but hate that I’m a bit behind. That’s a hate a can live with. Love to all. Namaste

  • RD

    Thank you Mastin! Your timing is perfect. I am on the verge of big changes in my professional life and my desire is to release myself and ‘play big’. As soon as I stated this out loud last week, I was invited to fill in for the keynote speaker at a conference I am attending next week. I said YES! I am both terrified and excited to step into my power and play big. Thank you for encouraging me to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving in the direction of my desires.

  • Daneferna

    What a perfect message! I was fearful of starting my coaching business for the exact reasons you stated and wanted everything to be perfect, but when I read this I realized that all of the people I have helped already, love and respect me for who I am and the love and service I passionately give them (rough edges and all). I am going to be gentler and kinder to myself and start taking action to make my coaching dreams come true.

  • Guest

    I was so nervous one day before my shift at my new massage job (what I consider one of my life’s callings) that I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t eat and I was COLD! I decided to really experience that fear, to really sit with it and face it. I realized that this fear had no basis in reality, although what I was experiencing physiologically was very real. I had nothing to be afraid of. All of a sudden I felt heat and a powerful strength surging through my body. And it was exciting! I realized the other side of fear is excitement. I have tried to re-experience it, but haven’t quite been able to, but I do now know that particular emotion really is nothing to be afraid of and that we all have the power to transform it. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000392107784 Anita Richards

    “So my NEW practice is to apply the feeling of being OK BEFORE I step
    into what I’m afraid of, and hold that mindset as I’m going through the
    fear.”
    This is so inspiring ~ thank you!
    Brightest blessings.