My husband, Kirk, and I just took our son, Kaden, to see The Lego Movie, laughing at each “adult” nuance given for the viewing pleasure of us parents who would often rather be at a drama, action, or even a light romantic comedy than seeing one more random lego piece blown away to oblivion and beyond. Kaden sat in between us while Kirk and I gave each other the occasional bonding glance of, “I know what you are thinking.” The movie’s premise was about deprogramming our computerized minds, following our hearts, and remembering that each person is uniquely “special” (even the “bad” guys). I was smiling-BIG-that movies are coming out like this for our children-besides occupying the same space with my family after a LONG week of Kirk being on the road.
After the movie, we all three walked out, throwing our 3D glasses in the bin, with smiles on our faces…or, that’s at least what I thought. Kirk and I eagerly asked him, “How did you like it, Kaden?” I could sense his physical unease was back, which he calls his “inner buggy,” and I am grateful that the days of his public explosions seem to be over. With much aggression and still a frown on his face, he said: “I hated it” and “it was the worst movie, ever!” (Much like our trips to Hawaii and Disneyland.) He repeated his displeasure over and over again until we slammed the car door. Quite frankly, he continued until he stomped into our house. Thank God we only spent $50.00, this time. This is when Tavi Dog’s greetings couldn’t be more inviting because at least our dog appreciates us.
I have been trained very well to let go of my expectations and stop pulling on the rope with Kaden and his mental quirks, saying to him with so much compassion, “Ok, you don’t have to like it, buddy. I am right here with you. You have every right to your misery.” This is when I continue to breathe and walk with him (quietly) as he tries to manage his “inner buggy,” instead of allowing it to manage him. This is when I try to not be addicted to his happiness.
“Trying is a word that will get you into trouble. You’ll get kudos from the world for ‘trying’ and you won’t accomplish a whole lot.”
‘But,’ what parent does not addictively want their child to be happy? As I get my rear end out of the way, I breathe into loves truth: it is impossible to make anyone happy, including our son.
Dear God, do I really need to drive or fly to far away lands, looking at gems and mining for Fire Agate in order for my son to be HAPPY?
Are You HERE Kathleen? It’s Me, God.
Sweet beloved, Maybe so. You could release your addiction and please remember to get the “my” part of of it; he is not yours.
“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”
Oh yeah! Although I will give my ego an “A” for effort, it never wins. When I take the “my” out of it, I trust that the Universe has us all where we need to be. (Tweet-worthy!) I am not Kaden’s owner, Love is his true parent, and I am entrusted with his care. This is when I am willing to surrender to our spiritual path and create compassion for myself and him…
“I feel with loving compassion the problems of others (Kaden and Kathleen) without getting caught up emotionally in their predicaments that are offering them messages that they need for their growth.”
-Ken Keyes Jr.
By letting go of my addictive need for our son to be happy, allows the space for him to experience the power of creating his own happiness. When I give him to Love, he becomes another awakening being. This depersonalizes everything for me. Shh to my ego. God is my self imposed loving dictator…
“I am perceiving everyone, including myself, as an awakening being who is here to claim his or her birthright to the higher consciousness planes of unconditional love and oneness.”
-Ken Keyes Jr. (The Twelfth Pathway To Higher Consciousness)
Ahhh…I am now creating peace. I hope you do, too.
With all my heart,