San Quentin State Prison
It all began when I was a young boy,
About 7 or 8, full of joy.
Harassing and bullying to no end,
Rocks, oranges, and the occasional can, made of tin.
Coming home each day from school became an adventure,
Ducking, dodging, trying not to become a pre-teen with dentures.
Then one day it all started to change,
I came home bloody, beaten, and deranged.
My grandmother saw me trying to hide,
Addressing my sobbing by telling me, “Go back outside, face your fears, look those boys square in the eye.
Find their soul and make that your battle cry,
But under no circumstance will you come back inside.”
Slowly I found the courage to seek out that brut,
He was right on my front lawn, with twenty others to boot.
This was the start of my internal demise,
I took a deep breath, clinched my fist and struck him right between the eyes.
He fell quickly, as I ruptured his skin,
And at that moment, that’s when I felt that Secret Love Affair begin.
She possessed my body like an Evil Spirit,
Calling out my name, with that sweet seductive tone, I tried desperately not to hear it.
As my eyes opened, I searched eagerly for that hypnotic voice,
Knowing at that very moment I needed to make a choice.
Do I follow my conscious mind and reject that simple ploy?
Or do I give into temptation and feel my soul get destroyed.
I tossed and turned with that quagmire pulsating in my chest,
Knowing the entire time, I’m faced with the ultimate test.
Love and Lust have been around since Eve and Adam,
But never has it reached a level I could not fathom.
Day after day, this love affair grew,
finally it reached a point of volatility that nobody else knew.
I need you baby in order to survive this cruel world full of pain,
If I can’t consummate this feeling, I’m left with utter disdain.
Stay in my life Anger, please don’t go away!
Soon we’ll be together and hopefully married someday.
She said, “I can’t marry you, look what you’ve done?
Your warped love for me caused you to pick up a gun.”
“Now look at you in prison, nowhere else to run,
I guess I’m just left alone out here rotting in the sun.”
Anger…Anger…don’t leave me this way!
What can I do to make you stay?
“Nothing,” she said, “finally you’ve faced your fears,
Now it’s time for me to move on after all these years.”
You mean you don’t love me like I do you?
“No, I never did, our time is through!”
Wow! What is left for me to say?
She replied, “Your maturation brought about this day.”
Are you saying I’ve grown up after all these years?
“Yes, I am, you’ve conquered your fears…”
All communications between inmates and external channels are facilitated by approved volunteers since inmates do not have access to the internet. This program is part of The Last Mile San Quentin. Twitter: @TLM