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Are you creating an adventure or tragedy?

mk_treesThe thoughts we think and the beliefs we hold greatly influence our lives. When an unwanted event happens – depending upon our mindset – we will experience different outcomes.

Example A - You are on a third date with someone you really like… but then they reject you. What do you make of this? Do you choose to believe that you are unworthy, unlovable and that no one will like you ‘cuz this is the third time you’ve been “rejected”? Or do you choose to see rejection as redirection and The Uni-verse guiding you to the perfect person in perfect time?

Depending on how you choose see that situation will greatly affect your emotions, thoughts and actions from that point forward…

Example B - You didn’t get the job you wanted. Is it because you are not good enough or because there is a recession? Does it mean there are NO other jobs for you to get? Does it mean that you have no value? Hell no! We have been hovering around 8% unemployment for a while now, which means there is 92% EMPLOYMENT! Which number do you want to focus on? Do you want to stay open and available to what’s possible? Or shut down, close down and assume you are one of the 8%? Or, do you see this as an opportunity to create your own business and take charge of your life?

Many different people experienced the same kind of events that we didn’t see coming. Some are super tragic, others are just speed bumps and there’s everything in between – but in the long run – what will determine why one person succeeded and one person failed? Ultimately – it’s not about how much money they have or how  much time they have – it’s about what meaning they give the events of their lives.

Giving the events of your life (even and especially the crappy ones) an empowering meaning is something we condition. It’s something we get stronger and stronger at over time. It’s not a quick fix. But we can rewire our brain (aka our thoughts) to look out into the world from a different point of view. What you look for will determine what you find. How you look out into the world will determine your emotions and thoughts, which determine your actions, which creates your life.

How are YOU looking out into the world? And what kind of life are you creating as a result?

As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Daisy

    Absolutely FANTASTIC , I have recently chosen ( extremely hard when u devote all ur time and energy into it ) to let go of a relation with kindness and compassion ( not resentment and grudges ) which wasn’t serving me and i can see the new found energy in me .I’m more open to LIFE and all that unvierse brings into my WORLD !!! I choose to see FAITH & LOVE in all situations !!

  • nicole

    Hindsight shows me that my wishes for those broken ‘dream’ relationships that ended in betrayals, would have turned into true nightmares. Thanks UNI-verse, I can accept this moment happily and aim higher.

  • Denise

    A Course in Miracles teaches us, “Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity to heal.” We need to be grateful for every person and every experience because we have called them to us to teach us something. What will today’s lesson be? We never know, but we can be frightened of it or excited and enlivened by it. The choice is ours!

    • Karen

      I KNOW which one I choose! :)

  • Kathleen Chelquist

    I am looking to be “IN” this world, but not “OF” it. A shape-shifter, who helps others in social settings, by “SEEING” who they really are. My HS Reunion is coming up this weekend (You can read it in the “Contributors” section of TDL, if you missed it last month). This is going to really give me an opportunity to BE what I want to SEE, without getting caught up in personality differences.

    Being the real me has NOT been easy. For I am no longer in the majority, like in High School. I have chosen an uncommon path and reprogramming my mind, in every minute, to “Return To Love.”

    I just watched Marianne Williamson again on Super Soul Sunday, as she brought up the fact that it is a “small, radical group” who helps make the changes. Tears rolled down my cheeks because I “KNOW” I am in THAT very group. I have never looked at myself as a radical. For, I have been she who is the “people pleaser.” But, it is radical to DO life differently and raise our kids to not forget who they really are (LOVE). TO live OUT LOUD and not waiver in what is true. To dare to say, I “KNOW” when I do, because it could seem egocentric to the many minds that want me to stay small. When in fact, it is egocentric to say that I don’t know, because then I am in the good opinions of others. (Know-It-Alls aren’t very popular.) You “KNOW” as well, when you claim the powerful being that you are. And thus, get rid of your watered down language of, “I think, I believe, kinda, sort of.” YOU KNOW!

    The more we start speaking with passion and conviction…things get done. And it starts by “BEING THE CHANGE.”

    This is my adventure.

    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-here-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com (SUNDAYS WITH CINNAMON is TODAY!)

  • Lisa

    Love life and a new job are the two top things that have been at the front of my mind lately. I am extremely grateful to have come across this post today because a few days, I told my best friend that I am now committed in finding a partner, a companion. The realization hit me that in the past, I used to say that there was no one out there for me and I dated so many wonderful guys with good qualities but the reality was, I was afraid to commit. Now I know I’m ready. As for a new job, I have an interview in a week that I’ve been preparing for. Over 350 applicants applied for this position and I was selected to interview. I knew this is a job I wanted because I sought out recommendation letters from my mentors and have been studying and prepping. It is unknown what plans God has for me but I have faith. Sometimes it is hard to keep the faith but I must move forward and just DO. I am aware of the competition I’m up against but it gives me joy that I’m doing all that I can to prepare myself. I am very much looking forward to what lies ahead. Thank you, Mastin for always inspiring me and others. What you put out there in the world adds so much value to our lives.

  • Sonya

    When it came to jobs and relationships I believe that they didn’t work out for a reason…it directed me to a better me, a more empowered me…The Universe has something in mind that will fulfill my life…I have learned to be patient, things happen when they are suppose to, not necessarily when you want them to..In the meantime enjoy every day to the fullest.and believe in yourself..

  • http://www.alexbeadon.com/ Alex

    I absolutely ADORE this post! So true, and so smart. Thank you!

  • http://www.danubelle.com/ laleh

    I actually had this A-ha moment this morning, well said mastin. I was praying last night that I would stop remembering memories of the guy I dated, because it was just painful to remember him, even though I had let it go. This morning I got a message from a different guy I dated few years ago, which kinda ended the same way as this guy. Out of the blue! He said he wants to see me, and gave me a huge aha moment; I realized how hurt i was back then and how much I thought this guy was a bad guy, and now that I looked back at it I realized it was all my head making it up. I had made up a story in my head, of course this was long time ago and I weaker back then, and today I looked at it differently. He was just an encounter, that directed me to others. And made me feel differenly about my recent guy, how I am making up a story again, and who knows if he wants to see me again down the road, but taught me something new, my head makes up a story with every encounter, and years later, everything starts to look differently. Of course I am not going to see this guy or go backwards, since i don’t feel that way about him anymore, but I do feel like my prayer last night, was the cause of this message this morning. All I needed was to look at it differently and trust that universe has a place. Of course memories are still there, but seems a lot lighter in my heart.

    Thanks Mastin,

    Love

    Danubelle

    http://www.danubelle.com

    • sumaira

      I was relating your story with mine. but your story is different as your ex guy wanted to see you again, but it never happened to me. Recently some one broke my heart in such a way that i will never forget. though it was difficult to tolerate but I cope up with it and make a forum to help other girls in finding their true love . .

      • sumaira

        This is my forum, every one here is most welcome to share your thoughts by going at “I am ME”

      • http://www.danubelle.com/ laleh

        Well My ex didn’t come back, as I mentioned another guy I had dated messaged me and made me realize how I have to feel about my ex. to Mastin’s point that it all depends what story we tell ourselves and what we think of what is happening… By the way ma really not sure what is the meaning of vote down on my post, kinda funny:)
        Love
        Danubelle

  • Gina

    Mastin, I think you did an EXCELLENT job in summing up something that most of us delve into and make difficult and making in profoundly simply!!!~ I appreciate you and feel so blessed to have not only found The Daily Love but have signed up for the ‘ dose of love ‘ ~ Out of all my daily emails yours is the only one I truly have an interest in opening!!! Why? Because ( aside from the daily reminder we all need ) you have the talent and ability to take a universal truth and turn it into a simple and insightful point that all can understand and learn from. Thank you!!!~

  • Rudy

    I have to be devil’s advocate…Dose of truth…8% would be extremely bad. Frankly, I think we’re living on different planets. The 8% unemployment figure is just what’s reported. What is unreported is really 3X as high or more. So it’s really more like 30% unemployment. Don’t believe mainstream media anyway, it’s all bull shit. There is no longer substantial industry base in America; it’s all been outsourced. I personally witnessed this shift, having been an electrical engineer for multi-national corps and having lost my house to wrongful foreclosure by a big bank. Only half of American adults have full time jobs right now. A lot of the jobs being added are part-time, not enough to support oneself. There are almost 50 million Americans on food stamps (growing by over 11,000 per day) and about half of Americans had only $500 in savings as of 2012. You make it sound like starting your own business is a piece of cake. It is not for the majority of us. Not everyong can simply ‘take charge of their lives’. We are subject to conditions out of our control, busy trying just to survive the mess we’re in. We live in an Orwellian-totalitarian, fascist oligarchy (not a democracy) run by shadow government-European banks, multi-national corporations and a dictator who violates the constitution (ie spying) and murders children (ie drone wars!). If there was a modern Nurembourg Trials the last 3 administrations or more would be tried and jailed for war crimes according to experts. If you’re aware of all this, then you can’t just look the other way and expect the universe to do something good because positivity alone won’t cut it. Only a critical, informed mass can heal the situation, and we definitely don’t have that. If you’ve managed to maintain your middle class ground unlike the majority of us you might not see the destruction all around you because they’ve isolated us all with divide-and-conquer tactics. You can still drive your car around and see pretty yards and well-kept buildings, and find food at the grocery store, but it’s all a facade. The real America is one big unfolding disaster. I need not say any more; the evidence is out there if you just ask around. I have spoken my truth. Thank you for heeding my warning. Peace, love.

    • Sarah @ Art of Wellness

      Mastin,
      great post! This is something I struggled with for a long time (and have
      the occasional slip up) and that I see all the time with my clients. It
      leads me to think of a few things–rumination, mindfulness, forgiveness,
      acceptance, and love (okay, five things…but they all tie together, trust
      me!).

      We live (us in the Western world) in a fast-paced world that judges each other by our former successes and where we are headed. When things didn’t go the way we “wanted” them to go (we had that bad 3rd date or we didn’t get the job we wanted), for many the default tends to be rumination. We dwell on the past. I fucked up that date/that job. I’m not worth it, I suck, I could be better, and I should be better. The “coulds” “shoulds” and “woulds” always have their tricky way of sneaking in and hurting our ego. So we continue to ruminate and if it happens to much, surprise surprise, we become depressed and/or anxious.

      The question for so many is how do we actually change our thought process. It is one thing to say, hey I’m going to change how I view the world than actually doing it. “Just do it” isn’t as easy as it sounds. Research has shown that it takes 21 days to create a habitual behavior. And Gladwell has shown us that it takes 10,000 hours to master something. So now…do you tell me bummer and return to ruminating. No…it is possible to overcome this, but first things first. You need to trust yourself.

      So to get started, we need to recognize that rumination only takes us the complete opposite direction from mindfulness. Why is being mindful
      important? Well, if your constantly dwelling on the past or worrying not to screw up the future, you are likely missing a ton of great things that are happening now! They may not always be monumental, but maybe
      you are overlooking the snuggles from your beloved cat or not realizing that you are eating a delicious lunch, and instead are just inhaling your food so you can back to the doom and gloom.

      Bust out of that mindset even if it just for a minute. Notice what is happening around you. Maybe you are sad. That’s okay, because being sad is “normal” and it is human. If you were never sad, how would you know what happiness truly feels like? Right? So bring on the acceptance. It’s okay to accept that shitty things happen. You can even take it a step further, and as Gabby Bernstein says, throw out the f-bomb. Forgive yourself at least, if you can’t forgive the other person/situation. Did you give it your all? Great, maybe this wasn’t meant for you? You didn’t give it your all? Okay, now you know what you need to do next time.

      Accept that it sucked, take a deep breath, and move on. Focus on now. Finally, with love comes acceptance and forgiveness. Can you begin to trust yourself and have faith in yourself that you know what is best. Who knows you better than yourself? Love who you are, nurture who you are, and support who you are and the world will open its doors to you. And a pro tip, if it doesn’t work the first time. Again, that’s okay. Keep trying and don’t give up. 21 times baby!

      • Rudy

        I am aware I am extremely critical and am unashamed, but I wouldn’t be saying these things if peace and love didn’t really matter to me. And I hope this reply isn’t too long. Thank you for kind comments and being positive, but, yes, I am very sad, and I do not believe accepting ‘sad as normal and human’ is setting a good standard for humanity. I realize we may be talking on different wavelengths, but my soul is telling me we are missing a big part of the equation here… All of the healing web sites, therapists, etc. don’t seem to “get” me or help at all. I feel like this English language and even all the ways we can interact as humans are far too limited to communicate effectively how I feel about this new movement of consciousness that’s supposed to be so great, so you’ll have to use your intuition to really get to the core of what I’m trying to say and not go so much by my words…

        The most encouraging thing happening right now is an awakening of love. That’s great, I probs wouldn’t be here right now if we didn’t at least have that. But…

        I just do not understand how looking at good things makes bad things go away, or dimishes the need to take some kind of real action to fix them. Nor how bad things are valuable in any way if the soul ends up so depleted that it dries up and dies. There’s a point at which the return from bad experiences only becomes negative. You cannot continue to be enriched when you become completely stuck, isolated, and sick, and there is no longer purpose. The soul just starves. If my life is a big waste, then I’m supposed to accept my soul will forever starve. But such acceptance seems like a denial of the soul. So I never give up trying to do something about it.

        So let’s all get back on the happy bullet train that’s headed for the collapsed bridge and act like prayer and positivity and acceptance are going to save us. ? That kind of faith may be the attitude to have for long-term sustenance, but for immediate danger, I’m pretty sure we require something more practical unless we just want to accept defeat and give up, which is about where I’m at. I mean, I don’t want to accept defeat and give up, but choices are limited & unless someone’s got a really fucking good idea I haven’t heard of I will be defeated.

        I’m disabled with severe post traumatic stress among other things from combat among other things every year of my life dating back to birth. I have a panic attack leaving my house. (Leave me the fuck alone, world, unless you can heal me and love me back to health and fullness.) I can’t sleep. I can barely breathe. I can’t get any good therapy. My neurology is completely fucked up. My airways are constricted due to vasoconstrictive disease. I can hardly speak, and I can’t even laugh or cry because my throat is fucked up and there’s nothing doctors can do. None of my friends understand me and think I’m crazy. No I’m not crazy, I’m actually fine, just reacting normally as a human would to bull shit…

        But I have no quality of life and I’m lonely as hell. I cannot support myself whatsoever. I’m out of money, was denied disability and it will take years to appeal, if ever approved at all. I do not qualify for any benefits except food stamps. About to be homeless very soon & am not prepared for it. I have no way to live, no support, no friends, no family, no government help but food stamps. My family disowned me and betrayed me years ago, I don’t even want to see them ever again, though I wish them well. No one even gives a fuck about me, like I’m just supposed to wither away because I’m not fit enough for this fast ass greedy fucking world that I can’t keep up with half as much as necessary. I’m a savant just wasting away. My designs from past years of employment now make a certain company $500M+ per year. But I’m too sick to even use my mind now. As of November I’ll have $0 and no assets. Fucking shame we’re not setup to help those in need in ways that matter, like basic needs like long-term free shelter that subject to horrid conditions, and free therapy everyday, and not the bull shit “therapy” social programs that are so invasive and fake. Even these food stamps are bull shit; I can only eat for half of the month because this shit chemical food from Mexico is so fucking expensive.

        This is unacceptable. This is the level of care we have made possible for each other? I’m just supposed to be okay with that? OK. I’m going to accept my life is a waste and only going to get worse. I had this one chance to enter this world to feed my soul and serve too, and now they say I can’t meet my needs and I can’t even give of myself because I’m not strong enough to survive the system we built. And before all this shit happened, with all the functional time I had, I sure as hell gave all I could to this world, and some. When the shit hit the fan it was over before it began. I didn’t stand a chance against the mountain of opposition I got. I tried everything to survive and thrive in the chaos. We just made this world too fucking hard to survive. I mean, yeah, I’m not a victim of Tohoku or Haiti or some kid starving in Africa, but I never imagined in my life that I would be facing what I’ve got coming. You know, if I didn’t have health problems I could probs get back on my feet, but there is no fucking way of salvaging my remaining youth and finding a soul mate in my condition unless some crazy ass miracle happens, like I win a ridiculous amount of money from suing my bank so I can get a place to stay and nurse myself back to health. (Anyone got $7,200 I can borrow? I have a solid case- a mountain of evidence against a big bank for an illegal practice known as “dual tracking”. I’ll pay it back in 90 days because they get sued so often for this it will get settled before it even goes to trial! Unfortunately, they won’t do pro bono.)

        I am not designed to be alone; I will never accept any condition that doesn’t nourish my soul. I might say I’ve gained a lot from suffering and perservering over the years, but since I’m not able to use what I’ve “gained” and I’m going to waste, I really feel like I haven’t gained a thing from suffering. No, it really would have been better to have been provided for all along. I know what you’re thinking; it’s not over yet, there’s some greater purpose ahead… No, there is not, I am about to lose my mind completely. I’m at the end of my rope very soon. You probs have no idea what kind of stress this is, and I haven’t even mentioned 1% of my problems.

        I’m completely useless because I’m ruined in every way and after years of trying to find healing through everything from counseling to shamans I just get worse and worse, and now this bull fucking shit… :-( I am all out of hope. I think the word ‘hope’ should be banned until we actually DO SOMETHING about this fucked up spinning ball of shit we call our home.

        Yours rudely,

        Rudy ;-)

        • Rudy

          …If we remove the emotion out of harsh criticism, we can still have harsh criticism without feeling like we’re attacked or feeling like we’re hated or belittled. We need a culture where we can intellectually pulverize one another while loving 100% because it’s what’s right that matters and not who. It works that way in scientific circles anyway. That said…

          Where’s my dose of love? I’m drowning in poverty, sickness and loneliness and no one gives a fuck about me and all the same people who told me I’m so amazingly generous and loving beyond anyone they’ve ever met are now nowhere to be found. They think I can make it all on my own or something, like I don’t need anyone. So it’s not their fault they’re weak. They don’t owe me anything. Ok, fair enough. My needs are still unmet and I’m not able to give anything more to anyone to get them met. I’m trapped in this shit hole of a situation and need to be lifted out. Otherwise I will never be healthy and stable enough to be in any kind of position to give my gifts to the world. I am worth saving. Need help and quick. Situation dire. I can’t function anymore. I can’t even sleep. I haven’t slept in weeks. A miracle I can think and type. In survival mode. No one to fight or flee, there’s just no way for me to self-sustain here pretty soon, because they made it impossible for people like me all over this country to recover from the number the fucking big bankers did on us all. Have we forgotten what they did? They packed up our country and stole it. Everything. Literally. European banks even own the majority of the deeds to American property. Now a few who recently paid off loans on property are scratching their heads going, “Where’s the deed at?” (I’m so stressed I’m literally scratching my head to the point of bleeding. Yeah, it’s that bad; I don’t understand how it started, I just do it without thinking about it.) In my case, a certain bank outright stole my house via dual-tracking scheme. I sued twice via DOJ & Feds and won but only got nickels and dimes. Before that I trained my replacement in Brazil, conglomerates ripped my industry to pieces with multi-billion dollar leveraged buy-outs. No jobs in this town or nearby, no way to escape this town, and no way to afford therapy and housing especially. Due to red tape I don’t qualify for any kind of benefits but food stamps. I haven’t done anything wrong, I just don’t qualify. Streets are freezing at night, blazing during the day. Nowhere to camp without being harassed or policed. Not setup to camp. Homeless shelters here are like prisons here and they treat you like prisoners, drop dead serious. It’s a fucking riot. I’ll take my chances with nature thank you. Not looking forward to a disconnected, lonely future, and goodbye what youth I have. I tried for 4 years to stop this from happening, and the economy just never recovered. It’s not getting better, it’s getting way worse. And that’s a fucking fact. We cannot call ourselves a loving society if we let these things happen to people on such a large scale as they are right now. If you aren’t seeing it happen, you’re too isolated in your own comfort zone. It’s happening out there, just look for it and ask outside your comfort zone. A giant percentage of Americans are in this situations, don’t be fooled by the media. And don’t be fooled into thinking there will be any plans for a substantial economic recovery until an informed critical mass outright demands one. If you have a voice right now use it or otherwise 1984 here we go. That’s the most loving thing you can do for the family of earth.