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Are You Halfway To Hoarders?

Terri Cole head shot 002With Spring right around the corner, now is the perfect time to activate your De-Clutter Spring Clean Plan.

First, let’s establish how much stuff you have that you don’t use, don’t need, and will never wear.

Close your eyes and really think about how much stuff you have accumulated over the years. The “stuff” in your physical space doesn’t just take up room in a closet.

When your space is cluttered and chaotic, that energy impacts your mental space as well.

According to Feng Shui expert Rodiki Tchi, “clutter is low, stagnant, and confusing energy that constantly drains energy from you.” This stagnant energy also blocks the flow of your abundance. To me, clutter is a pile of unmade decisions that perpetually stay on my To Do list but never seem to get done. In the not getting done, these unmade decisions are sucking energy away from what it is that I actually desire.

If you are very orderly and never hold onto stuff that you’ll never use again, this might be your cue to go meditate. But if you think of your closet or storage space with a deep sigh, then this Tune Up Tip is for you, my friend.

I have found in my fifteen years as a therapist that cluttered external space can be a mirror of your cluttered chaotic internal mental space. In our fast-paced lives and cluttered calendars, your personal physical space is just one area that most likely needs streamlining and simplifying.

Keep in mind there is no judgment here. We all hold onto things, people, relationships, and jobs for too long sometimes for our own reasons. Many of us were taught, especially if our parents/grandparents grew up in the Depression era, that throwing away perfectly good items was wasteful and wrong. This blog is to inspire you to take an honest look and get into positive action so you can create space for what you truly want in your life.

In Psychology Today, Jim Taylor, PhD shares a comprehensive list of ways to de-clutter your life, starting with your stuff:

  • Your stuff: Go through everything and make the hard decision to throw out, sell, donate, reuse, or recycle.
  • Pop culture: Watch, play, and listen less. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need; don’t believe everything it claims to do, especially the claim that it will make you happy; don’t care too much about it.
  • Technology: Opt out of email lists you never read, delete, don’t save, don’t friend, follow, or like, unplug.
  • Time: Un-schedule, don’t over-commit, say no, slow down, take off your watch, be spontaneous.
  • Your social life: Be selective, choose quality over quantity, spend time alone.
  • Your mind: Clarify, prioritize, simplify, tune in, zone out, read, meditate.
  • Your body: Eat nutritiously and in small portions, exercise frequently, go outside, relax often, nap regularly, go to sleep early.

So let’s welcome Spring with a clean slate (and closet) and see what possibilities and sychro-tastic happenings get created in our new expansive space!

Drop a comment here and let me know your thoughts.

I hope you have an amazing week and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love
Terri

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Terri Cole, founder and CEO of Live Fearless and Free, is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. For almost two decades, Terri has empowered companies, celebrities, professional athletes and individuals to Live Fearless and Free. Follow Terri on Twitter @terri_cole.

  • Katherinebeattie

    Spring cleaning is for a reason, all the reasons you list above! Yes, I am going to de-clutter starting today! Thanks for the reminder and push!

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

       Katherine-
      You are welcome! I wrote this as a way to push us both so I will be joining you! Happy Spring! <3

  • Mary Bouse

    Great blog and reminder of the need to use this time to open space for new beginnings to blossom!  Thank you

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

       Mary-
      So glad the blog resonated with you! Time to to create space for what we want…I love Spring :)

  • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

    Great blog!  And great tips and reminders!  :)  

    I LOVE to de-clutter.  It’s literally one of my favorite things to do.  I go through my own closets and spaces several times a year and get rid of what I can bear to part with at that time.  And somehow there’s always more stuff to get rid of! 

    I find the minimalist way of living really appealing.  So I try to be an minimalist as I can be.  Still, there are always some things (clothes I rarely wear, stuff I rarely use, movies I rarely watch) that I just can’t make myself get rid of b/c I know I DO wear/use/watch *sometimes.*  Yet I also know that if I didn’t have it, I would be just fine. 

    I like the point you made about how people with lots of physical clutter tend to be more chaotic in their minds and lives as well.  I see this with my mom.  She won’t get rid of anything!  My old bedroom at my parents’ house is so packed full of stuff (not mine), you literally cannot walk through it!  The majority of the house looks fine, but there are definite high-clutter spaces.  And also little piles of stuff, like papers, sprinkled around the rest of the house.  I’ve offered to help my mom clear out stuff, but she won’t do it.  I see it as fear in her, and holding on to the “stuff” gives her a sense of comfort.  I wish she’d see it for what it is, see what’s *really* going on, and help herself.  But unfortunately we can’t WANT something for someone else and we can’t make someone else make a positive change in their lives.  Hopefully she’ll get it at some point, but I don’t know.

    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/03/give-yourself-permission-to-weed-out.html

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       BINGO, Sara Noel! Keep setting the example and saying how good it feels to know what you no longer use is going to someone who can use it, how by letting go of what no longer serves you you open space for new things to come into your life, etc. Know what works for you and makes you happy. Remember, keep your side of the street clean (like the pun?!) and don’t try to clean up other’s. <3 <3 <3

  • Desi

    Thanks, I’m printing the list as a reminder for those moments when I’m not sure what to do next.
    I’ve recently combined households & I feel there is a barrier between us of “mine/yours”. I’d like us both to declutter so we can start an “ours” type of life.
    I wonder how to approach it so he doesn’t feel threatened “giving up” any of his stuff…..Hmmm

    • Desi

      Aww! Maybe I’ll start on my stuff & he’ll catch on?

      • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

         Set the example and share this blog. Make it something you two do together. I’m sure there are plenty of laughs to be had rummaging through your bachelorette and his bachelor memorabilia…and even more when you donate it to someone else to enjoy :-) xoxo…

  • http://www.facebook.com/kitty1967 Lisa Newcomer

    my house has been cluttered and slobby for so long i can’t even stand to think about it!

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

      Time to clear it out! You will feel a million times better once you do. Tackle it a little at a time. Even 30 minutes a week or one closet a week can make a big impact.

  • http://thejourneytolearnacceptance.blogspot.com/ Nina

    This post is fantastic. I’ve been wanting to donate items, and this helped me remember such that I could go look up where to do it. The only thing I have a bit of a problem with is the social advice… I’m too picky, which results in me not really having any friends. “Quality over quantity” is what I live by, but I’ve never found people that live up to my standards of quality and I definitely have no use in any quantity of sub-standard people. So really everyone should just remember that as with everything, there is balance involved here. That’s something I’ve been fighting with. So yeah, limit your social circle to quality people, but to an extent. Don’t end up like me and cast everyone out. Remember that no one is perfect and no one is going to be the exact “quality” that you’d prefer. Everyone makes mistakes and no one has perfect morals and values 100% of the time. I’m not going to find people like that and I shouldn’t be trying to. In this case, I almost need the opposite advice…

    It’s all about balance.

    Much love,
    Nina

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       It is about balance, Nina. Just as you want people to accept you, faults and all, we have to accept others, faults and all. True, you don’t need to befriend people who are rude and obnoxious, but there are plenty of loving souls out there who feel like you and would like to be given a chance. xo.

  • Ftb410

    Truth be told. Love it!

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       Yes! Thank you! <3

  • friend of yours

    Thanks so much for this blog post!  I am wondering how to clear other people’s clutter?  I’ve helped out 2 friends who left the country and both of them ended up leaving clutter behind that I am now housing in my apartment (they haven’t given me their return dates, which is quite frustrating).  What do you suggest?  I am going to take 1 of the friend’s things to her storage unit.  Is there a way to prevent taking on other people’s burdens?  I didn’t offer to house these things for them, but as they are my friends I don’t want to just dump their possessions and yet, I don’t need other people’s clutter.

    • friend of yours

      By the way, they left these things behind in my apartment so I didn’t have the chance to respectfully decline.

  • Shera55

    I am not what you call a clean freak…dust does not bother me too much but things definitely have to be neat and in order! I get a thrill out of donating, and minimizing and de-cluttering. My home feels wonderful and I love being there! Be brave those of you who are thinking of de-cluttering….you will be rewarded! There are people out there that don’t have as much as you do and need your donated or garage sale items. Keep spreading the love!

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       Yes! Couldn’t agree more!

  • Heather

    I love this blog post…it might just motivate me!! :) . Thank You!!

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       It WILL motivate you is the affirmation you want to say, Heather. xoxo…

  • Joy

    Thank you for this post, Terri.  It could not have come at a better time.  I have been struggling lately with wanting to purge and “de-clutter” my home, as I tend to be a bit of a pack rat.  I firmly believe that a cluttered existence does really create chaotic energy.  And I do want to make room for greater abundance!  But I get so overwhelmed with where to start and also with having to make the decision to part with things.  I have weird sentimental attachments to lots of things for no apparent reason, other than maybe I have had the item for a long time.  I dream of what it would feel like to come home to a clean, organized and uncluttered home. 

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       Joy~ Take a look at what I replied to Butterflyz4me for some ideas on where to start. And, visualize your home looking exactly the way you want it, with everything in it’s space and beautiful, specially selected items on clear display for you and others to enjoy. And then feel what it feels like for your home to look this way. Feel yourself in this sacred space you call home. Feel it as if it is happening now, not at some point in the future. xo.

  • Christine

    Woke up this morning feeling I must declutter, so thanks for this great confirmation.
    Its really reinforced that this is the next step, Thanks Christine Gladwell

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       It’s synchro-tastic! Yes. Time to let it go! xoxo…

  • Butterflyz4me

    I am probably three quarters of the way to hoarder, recently a friend described me to the new man in my life as a border line hoarder, that hurt. But I guess the truth hurts. I have experienced several big set backs in life and it seems harder now to let go of the stuff (not even important stuff).  I know I need to do it, I resolve to do it then I don’t do it…really not sure how to start….but it was helpful to hear it from outside myself this time.

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       You are aware of the issue, and that is the first, hardest, and most important step. Start small. Set aside a closet or room a week or 30 minutes a week. Have a friend help you to honestly assess if you truly need to keep something or if can be donated or if it needs to be thrown away. All the things you donate, think of the person whose life will be made better because of your graciousness. xoxo…

  • Broken in Texas

    I honestly think this post was created by The Universe just for me (feel spiritually guided?  LOL).  After a tragic murder in my family, and the loss of  5 close family members and a best friend within a few years,. I recently took a look around and thought, “What am I doing?”  I hardly recognize my life  manifested in clutter around my living areas, health issues from depression, and a wrecked self-esteem (after a family member said it should have been me that died instead of the other family member because I’m single and no one would miss me).  Needless to say, I just shut down emotionally and then physically. 

    PLEASE be kind to be people who are ‘cluttered.’  First of all, I had no idea that I was losing control. Everyone marvels at how I’ve held together, but it’s not really true…  Most days I’ve felt
    accomplished just by getting up, going to work, and not falling apart. There wasn’t much head and heart space to realize that you’re building a wall with things inside your home.  After all, if your home is cluttered then you have an excuse not to have anyone over, which, in turn, protects your heart.   

    If you’re so including, help them declutter.  Please ask if you can help, one small project at a
    time.  I’m pretty much alone and working through it, but I’d SO love someone to say, “Hey,
    let’s get to that desk today – just the desk – and see a movie later!”  Please understand
    that those things usually carry some measure of sentimental value to the clutterer and it’s so much easier for a friend to help you decide that it
    carries more heartache than memory.  It’s also nice to have them there to
    vent to and cry with if it’s something that is really hard to discard.

    I’m taking measures to deal with personal issues; however, I recently took a good look around and realized that my small apartment reflects my broken heart.  Being a writer, I tend to find any publication of value. To declutter, I’m bringing at least a handful of papers and magazines to work with me every day inside my lunch bag.  Our office has a recycling center and, after carrying it all down and up 6 flights of stairs, ridding myself of that ‘weight’ by throwing it into the recycling bins is cathartic.  Also, I get it out of the my living space, where it carries more emotional weight inside those walls than in the stark light of my office.  And bonus – when I get home and see a new patch of clean surface, it makes me feel I’m chipping away at the iceberg of clutter inside my heart and my home. 

    • Northerner1111

      Congrats to you Broken in Texas (although it seems like you are on the path to being “unbroken”)! The universe was indeed trying to tell you to LOVE yourself in having you see this blog post. Despite what an unkind relative said, your life matters and I feel even more motivated myself to de-clutter after reading your heartfelt reply:) It sounds like with every bit of cleared counter space you see in your home, you are healing your heart and clearing your head for more positive thoughts to flow in. Keep up the AWESOME work!!! I am so sorry to hear about all the tragedies in your life, but trust that your loved ones would want you to live in JOY and a “home that rises up to meet you.” MANY blessings to you on the journey!

    • slavareed

      Dear broken in Texas,
      your story has touched my heart! It takes a lot of courage to open up to the not so great realities in our lives. You are much stronger than you realize :-) ) know that if you keep love in you heart and keep it flowing the universe will keep you in it’s loving embrace always…
      Because even though there are days that feel cloudy, the sun is always there shining it’s light.

      The person that said you should have died because you were single and no one would miss you was not thinking straight possibly in their own pain from the ordeal but none the less terrible words to say. These words do not hold weight for you matter and you were born because you have a greatness within you that only you possess. There will never be another you!

      I believe that when we experience hard times that is when we grow the most and we are lead in the direction in life we are suppose to go in to truly live our best life.

      Keep you spirit high and know that you are loved. Surround yourself with people that life you up (famous words from Oprah :-) ) and bravo for tuning into this wonderful website!!

      Much love to you :-) )

    • Broken in Texas

      I am overwhelmed with emotion at the caring comments of the bloggers that have sent nothing but love and heartfelt well wishes.   Your words touched me very much and I am at my desk at work trying to convince  my coworkers that my tears are just sinuses!  LOL

      To be honest, I haven never written anything like this before on a blog.  It’s just that Ms. Cole’s article came at a time when I started to see light at the other end of the tunnel and it truly felt amazingly targeted to me.  To start on the path of living life again, I realized that I had to start with the clutter around me. 

      I asked myself one day why I liked watching the reality show “Hoarders” so much.  I couldn’t wait for them to get to the part where they would highlight what had happened to the hoarder to turn their lives into a cataclysmic state of disarray. While I completely sympathized with the person going through the trauma, it made me wonder why they did not come to their senses before they ran out of walking space and authorities got involved.  Then I took a look around my well-decorated apartment and wondered why I didn’t see anything but the path that allowed me to put one foot in front of the other.  The truth is that I was becoming THAT person – that person that doesn’t clear certain areas so that when someone would say, “Can I come over?” I would have the perfect excuse not to allow them in my space, which translates to close to me.   

      I mostly wanted to get through to some of the readers that people who are “cluttered” or close to being a hoarder are not very much different from people who turn to other forms of addiction to heal their broken hearts. If you met me in public, you would find me outgoing, talkative, articulate with a huge sense of humor, the kind of person who never met a stranger.  At night, alone, it has only been my pets that have given me any sense of caring about life at all. 

      To the poster who said that it is the hardships of life are life lessons, you’re very, very right.  I find myself being now able to empathize easily with others who lose family members.  A friend who lost her father recently said, “How do you know exactly what to say and do?”  To me, we should all use our life lessons to somehow make life even the smallest bit better for someone else.

      To the poster who said I was brave, I’m sorry, thank you, but I’m not brave.  I’m strong – almost annoyingly – but not brave.  I’ve been a huge, scared chicken buried underneath books, magazines, movies, photo albums, and dog toys!  What made me decide to come to my senses were my two small dogs and a cat.  I had pneumonia and I was alone.  I was so sick I was delirious and I awakened to find all three pets, who rarely get along, with their bodies lying across mine to keep me warm.  I don’t know how long they were there but even when my neighbor came to walk them, they wouldn’t budge.  I decided if they thought my life was that valuable, I owed it to them to fix myself to be there for them as they had been for me.

      I’m sorry this was so long, but I haven’t said most of this out loud before.  I mostly wanted to let the readers know to be gentle with those you feel live cluttered lives.  Some of the cleanest people I know have the coldest, most selfish of hearts. Most of us “cluttered” have hearts so big that they are laden with love, but destined to be broken over and over until there are not enough stitches to fix them anymore.   When we do not get the love we need, we find it through pets or possessions – things that cannot hurt us in the same way humans have.  All we really need is to know that someone sees us and cares enough to offer to help start the process of recovery. 

      Thank you again for your amazingly kind words.

      Less Broken in Texas

      • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

         Hi Mending in Texas ;)
        What a beautiful outpouring of caring and love you have right here on this blog <3 Props to you for sharing your story and burden with us as you have inspired many with your open heart and that is what this community of lovers is all about. You have a lot of insight into why you have accumulated the clutter and I think you are really moving in the right direction. If you do not feel like you have mourned the loss of so many loved ones properly you can contact the grief recovery institute in LA and speak to someone who can help you free of charge. They also have wonderful books and seminars as well. Keep up the good work and know that we are here holding you in healing light.
        love love love
        terri
        http://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

  • Spirit2012

    Thanks for the post. I agree with many of the things you said as I have spent the last 3 years decluttering my life (often needing a paid housekeeper/secretary) as I lived under overwhelming amounts of stuff for 20 years with an OCD hoarder so that I almost choked under it all…….getting rid of the old clothes, furniture, paperwork, books, furniture, decades of yardsale collecting, etc etc. was very therapeutic…I still have a ways to go, but my ‘being’ and my home are unrecognizable for how much lighter I feel….

    I was very moved by the entry from “Broken in Texas”. My sincere sympathies and empathy  with you, as you are heroic for having begun the process of self-reclaiming from under the piles of troubles you have been burdened with. I send you healing and blessings to continue your journey from darkness into the light…I have come out of many many overwhelming dark spots myself, but do believe that inner and outer decluttering can help and heal us all. I do hope your friends will find the courage to help you, too, and that you will find new friends and companions who value you once you begin to value yourself.

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       So happy you are feeling the benefits of “lightening the loads” and your words to Broken in Texas are so heartfelt and pure and I couldn’t agree with you more. xo.

  • Slavareed

    Thank you Terri for such a wonderful post on how to uncluttered our space and our lives!
    Have a great day :-)

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       You too! I’m glad you found the blog helpful. xo.

  • http://www.gaiasunicorn.com/ Sam

    I became a minimalist a year or two ago, but I so agree with this. Getting rid of clutter is so liberating

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

       It definitely is, Sam!

  • Yola

    Thank you for this article, Terri! It represents what I deeply believe in my heart and soul, what I want to do in my life – spread this same message and help people put it into practice (although I haven’t yet figured out how to do so in a way that is my main life’s work/focus) and it addresses the other side of the coin of living a holistic and fulfilling life. Living a holistic life it is about resting enough, eating healthy, conscious meals, doing Yoga, taking a bike ride, meditating, journaling, surrounding yourself with positive people, soul searching and soul healing through the modality of your choice, AND it is also about living in a clutter free, energy flowing, well-organized, filled with light, love and some fresh flowers environment!!! There is something not balanced and holistic about taking care of your body and soul but ignoring the environment you work and live in. If you want to thrive living a holistic lifestyle, you gotta address both sides of the coin. Thank you again for this article, Terri.