Are you having an upper limit problem?

mk_treesI’ll be honest: I’ve been having a little bit of a freak out lately.

Like, full on melt down.

The past month has been amazing. Jenna and I hosted our first sold out Love & Relationship Workshop in L.A., I spoke at my very first Hay House conference in NYC in front of 3,000 amazing people – and shared the stage with people who inspired me beyond measure (like Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Kris Carr and Cheryl Richardson), and Gabby Bernstein and I hosted a sold out event at NYU last weekend called “Love & Miracles”.

We also launched our first 7-day, no cell phone, Internet or social media retreat in Maui and it sold out within a week or so, and we’ve added on two more retreats because the demand has been so high.

And, I’m SO close to finishing my book and just signed with a Literary Agent.

Sounds awesome, right? Well, I agree with you –if it were someone else’s life, I would be celebrating with them.

But, I haven’t been in the celebrating headspace. Why? I feel guilty. Not only do I feel guilty, I feel like I don’t really deserve it deep down. And I also feel like what’s the point in celebrating because it’s all gunna go away at any moment – like I can’t trust it.

I know it sounds a little crazy, but it’s true.

This doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. I’m SO grateful. Like – no words to describe how grateful I am.

But I’m having a REALLY hard time getting through the blocks of guilt and not trusting life enough to enjoy myself.

While I was in NYC last week, I opened up to my friend Kate Northrup about this. She is a money coach and helps people with all kinds of financial and relating self-love issues.

I was talking to Kate about all this, a little dumbfounded. I used to be a music manager. I would help other people become successful. I was applying my skills to my own career, and now that some awesome success is coming my way – why do I feel so down about it?

Kate uttered, “Sounds like you might have an upper limit problem.” I was like – huh?

She told me that Gay Hendricks wrote a book called The Big Leap, and it describes that as we begin to expand there is a part of us that tries to keep us where we are used to being.

And for me, that is chasing, couch surfing and putting myself last so that I can help others. Gay says that we have a happiness “upper limit” and when we start hitting that threshold we start to mess up other areas of our life because we don’t feel worthy, we feel like success will result in abandonment, we feel that shining brightly is a crime and that success brings more burdens.

Boy – did Kate have ME pegged.

I am having an upper limit problem.

I’m so used to serving, I’m so used to giving that I’m messing up my own success with these very common problems.

I am SO grateful to Kate for this illumination because once I became aware of my pattern; I realized I could break it.

So, I started to ask myself:

Is it true that you will be abandoned if you are successful?

Is it true that you are not worthy of success?

Is it true that if you are successful that it’s a crime and others can’t be successful, too?

Obviously, the answer across the board is no. But I had to get to a place where I consciously understood this.

I still have lingering feelings of guilt around this, but I’m working to bust through them. I don’t want to leave anyone behind and I don’t want anyone to feel left out.

But I know that it was other people’s success and the demonstration of what was possible that inspired me to want to give more and become more.

It’s always easy to celebrate others, but very hard to celebrate ourselves. I’m trying, a little bit at a time to celebrate.

Are you having an upper limit problem?

As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Edrosemann

    Just make sure your definition of success is tied to spiritual things and not material thingss.

  • I’ve wondered at times if I have an upper limit problem in relationships.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I do.  But I’m working on it.  I haven’t believed I deserve to be treated with respect, to be valued, cherished, and held as important.  I haven’t believed that I can be with someone who I’m attracted to, who I respect, who I admire and think is awesome.  I tend to take what comes my way.  If someone is into me, and he’s semi-attractive, and a nice guy, I take it.  It’s been the history of my relationships.  I’m with them because they want to be with me.  And I don’t believe I can do any better anyway. 

    It’s not that I’m afraid to be alone.  I love being alone.  But sometimes I like being in relationships too.  And when I’ve been single a while, and ready to be with someone again, I tend to take the first, or second, person that comes along.  It’s like, “Well, I asked for a relationship, here he is, so this must be it.” 

    I settle for “good enough” and “I *could* be happy with this…maybe…” instead of holding out for the BEST and a person I think is REALLY amazing.

    I’m finally single again (out of a 2 year relationship…. with a NICE guy, who I could COUNT on… but also who I wasn’t really attracted to and who I didn’t respect in a lot of ways…). 
    And now I’m committed to ME.  I’m committed to MY happiness and IF I’m going to be in a relationship with another person, it’s going to be someone I’m crazy about.  Someone I am attracted to in every way – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Someone I admire and respect and am proud to be with.  AND that person must feel the same about me. 

    Tall order?  Maybe.  But I’m happy on my own, so if that order never gets filled, that’s fine.  I’m not going to settle anymore. 

    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/02/just-stop-and-enjoy-view.html

    • Susanob26

      I do the very same, but not anymore, thank u for this X

    • Better3flyfree

      Sarah, Thank you! Are you my twin? I ask because what you wrote is almost exact to how I am feeling and what I am thinking right down to ending a two year relationship with someone I didn’t respect in alot of ways. I am now focusing on myself and not acceptable unacceptable behavior anymore. The only thing that is different for me is being happy. I have been very sad and crying alot. I know this is my pain coming up for healing and I welcome it but it isn’t at all enjoyable… That is what I am working on. Being happy all by myself. I know I am worth it. Thank you again Sarah. It is so nice to have someone feel like I do. Have a wonderful day! You will meet the one who is meant for you.

      • Lol…  Maybe we ARE twins, separated at birth!  🙂

        I’ve been unhappy and crying a lot too, believe me!  The last couple of months before I broke it off with my boyfriend, I wasn’t very happy.  And there were periods of that unhappiness earlier in the relationship too, off and on.  But I finally knew I HAD to get out of it when he had been gone for a weekend visiting his family, and the second he pulled up to the house, returning home, I immediately felt like crying.  Bad, bad sign.  I wasn’t MAD at him, he didn’t DO anything to upset me (that time anyway).  It was all my pushed down feelings coming to the surface, showing me that this guy is NOT the one for you.  GET OUT NOW! 

        And yes, you ARE worth it! 🙂  You deserve to be happy, do what YOU want to do, be loved and cherished!  Just hang in there and keep going the work.  You’re worth it!!! 

        🙂 

  • Upper limit problem here too ~ always have had this block. Darned annoying when I want to achieve so much. Learning how to do what’s best for me though so that I can get past the feelings that I have to help others at my own expense ~ aka thousands and thousands and thousands of hours of volunteer and community services work  usually with zero compensation even for basic out of pocket expenses.
    Upper limit be damned now….. sky is the limit. 😀
    Thanks for your inspiration again Mastin! 😀
    Brightest blessings.

  • Leah

    Thanks Mastin for your blog it was very honest and helpful.  I listened to Katherine Woodward Thomas on Hay House radio talk  about a similar theme with regard to relationships, and it has made me have an enquiry into what old beliefs are running the show for me, thanks again Leah

  • SallyG

    Love this.  I too have always been one to put others first rather than putting myself out there.  Your comments about the Upper Limit problem plus Marie Forleo’s B-school intro have encouraged me to move forward with starting my own business! 

    Thanks for TDL, it’s been such a welcome source of daily encouragement for me.

    Hugs!

  • Cvistermt

    Okay, that’s enough rationalization for now, Mastin. Be accountable!

    God has put NO limit on you and has, in deed, shown you a glimpse of what he created you to be; so now it’s up to you to be accountable for each & every service you provide and each & every return it brings.

    It’s a two way street and you’re behind the wheel. Sometimes driving too slow or hesitating at the light can be a hazard if its a gren light – then go, my friend!

  • Priyanka

    I have been going through something exactly like this and I was so disoriented about my feelings, I had no idea on how to understand it until i read todays ‘upper limit’ article and it cleared my head out a lot.
    Thank you Kate, Mastin and TDL
    @60f7f5db4b80b9b59e8f1d8edf681e7c:disqus

  • Uncle Jay

    When I hit these limits, I think “humility”.

  • Paloma

    Brilliant post Mastin,  loving the awareness you bring to that muggy feeling that can keep you pinned to where you are, thanks, and good luck with everything.

    You’re a hard working boy ! 

    Love, Paloma

  • Wow , Mastin this did sure touch home when I got your dailly dose of love today.
    You know I to am such a giving person, I am about give to all. Yet then sometimes I forget about me. That is so important as we all must love ourselves. To do this we have to create a better quality of life for our family. For us. You know I was planning this event and planning to give money away , yet if I can not love and work on me and what I want to do and help so many. Then other’s are going  to do this. We have to nurture love our souls and be Authentic and original. Yet, to do that we need help supports our community.You know today I had this stuck moment , of why I do what I do I had to draw it out. Okay money support + to proud I want to do it alone= Turn it around Lori we all need supports go for it all. Grants B Plans + I just do not get them need help=
    Funding for a better quality of life for you and your family. Lori hey you would be crazy to not go for and get the help supports guidance and just do it Because what you are about to do will touch the world , as I have so much love for all.
    Wow Mastin thanks as we have to love us, and go for what we believe!
    Heaps of love,
    Lori

  • Olivia

    Thanks for sharing this deeply moving post, Mastin… I’ve felt this for most of my life. I learned that much of it comes from early trauma and blocking beliefs from my family of origin. I’ve cleared a lot of it using the CLEAR(R) work of Julie Roberts. It’s wonderful to see you breaking through your upper limits…  So inspiring!

  • www.JasminBalance.com

    Your honesty and vulnerability are so powerful and refreshing…thanks for the reminder that true satisfaction comes from within…no more chasing! :)..much love to you Mastin. Xo Jasmin

  • Tiffanycaear

    Thank you for your wonderful article…I feel that same guilt…I totally understand…but I know that true success comes when you are doing what is right…and so if I receive benefits, it is because I am on the right track.

  • I think my upper limit problem manifests itself not necessarily in not wanting to reach my full potential, but in not being able to enjoy my success and feel worthy of it. I often think that when someone compliments me on something I do, praises me, I am suspicious of their intention to do so, because I feel like what the are praising me for is in fact a mediocre achievement. It’s rather weird that this discussion comes up this morning in my inbox, as last night, taking a shower, I had an epiphany moment of this exact moment and I understood where it came from – the fact that I was always the successful, smart, good example child who was always compared against her older brother. I realized that always made me feel guilty about my success.

    So thank you, Mastin, so much for this post, because now it has brought even more awareness to a part of me that I used to view as another one of my flaws. Now I can be courageous enough to work on it!

    Peace, Love 🙂

  • Carol Beam

    for me, i realized that each and every one of us has the same opportunities to tap into our personal and universal power. no one person is better or above another. i just CHOOSE to tap in, that’s my path. others may choose not to, that’s their path and at any time they too can tap in and become extraordinary. the gifts are all there waiting for us to receive them.
    this insight helped me accept that i’m not “special”, just purposeful in my choices. This signficantly helped me with my guilt.

    food for thought….

  • Lisa

    The ‘truth” for me is if I am not fully living in the moment because of worry, shame, guilt, or not feeling worthy of unlimited success I will feel the blocks building one by one internally. When “present” to the unfolding in the moment my experience is totally freeing and the “upper limit” possibilities are limitless as there is not one thought that I am giving attention to that will disrupt the flow. Thank you for sharing your experiences everyone! bless!

  • Amanda

    I read your emails every morning. This one could not have come at a better time as I’m going through this transition now, too. Thank you for all you do, realize for the rest of us, and share to help us improve ourselves. Xo

  • lalala

    being your best always serves others best, anyhow 🙂

  • Drew

    This is ABSOLUTELY perfect and beautiful Mastin… well expressed!! Success is so easy to see in other for those of us that in service,.. like you! Success in ourselves is another playing field altogether and one that I know youre going master in no time flat! You always do… Your honesty is inspirational Mastin… Thank you.. Talking REAL SOON!
    All my Love
    Drew
     

  • Matrixlatin

    Yep. I’m having an upper limit problem right now. Feelin guilty and worried about the success that’s developing. Even though I’ve worked hard for this. I’m doing the work that will make it all happen but feeling worried and guilty in the process. Chucks! I wanna enjoy this to the fullest! I know that the more I have the more ill have to give. I just have to be okay with a this receiving now!!!
    Thanks Mastin! Needed this today!
    Blessings!

  • Tal

    Yes, I definitely have this problem! How can you overcome this though? I find it’s easy to tell myself I’m worthy when I’m calm and feel stability in my life, but right when things are shifting and changing these thoughts come in. Do you have any suggestions for how we can change our minds past this in those shifting, heated moments when we don’t think too clearly?

  • Lori

    YES!!! We create our own ‘glass ceilings’ and all the excuses to reinforce it. I know I have habitually done it in my life and have been a witness to countless others.

    Thank you for reminding us about love….on the daily! You are a treasure! (You too, Kate…if you’re listening)

    To all of you out there…..LOVE YOURSELF….first, last and always!

  • This is so great…one of my very favorite topics!  I have a visual and physical practice that I do to help with this.  I open my arms wide so that they create a line.  Lines by definition are infinite in nature.  While standing in that position I say sometimes in my head and sometimes out loud “I expand my container for good.”  So often we can’t hold our good because the container we have for it is too small and it spills right out.  I am an infinite container for the Good of God.  All of my needs are met and I am abundantly supplied!  

    I started rewriting portions of the Catholic mass as I was raised Catholic.  M favorite rewrite thus far is “I am worthy to receive.  Only say the Word and I shall Reveal.”

    Keep up the amazing work Mastin!!!

    •  ooooh, i LOVE this, Lola! Adding that physical dimension to it really helps put it in my BODY. MMMM. THANK YOU! oxoxoxo

  • Kathleen Chelquist

    My true definition of success is…HAPPINESS and PEACE. I often fall back into my mind and think, “I will be successful when…” And, the only time we have to really be successful is…RIGHT NOW. To choose love in the storm. THAT IS SUCCESS. To know that everything in front of me is what I need for my spiritual growth. Including the, “upper limit problem.”  I have struggled with this like crazy because I want all my friends and family to love themselves. To experience the love and joy I am experiencing. They often say, “It looks like too much work. It’s not my passion.” What they do not see is that living in fear IS TOO MUCH WORK. Way more than choosing love. I frustrate myself with this often. I want for them, what I am just beginning to create in my life.  I want for them to be HAPPY. And, they don’t THINK it exists in the way I KNOW IT DOES. We become so callous to our suffering, we don’t even know that we are. I have seen with my own eyes and heart what TRUE happiness is through Cinnamon Lofton. And, I will tell you what? Most people I know….are in hell. They are people pleasing, worrying, judging, intolerant, guilty, unworthy, and you name it. But if you don’t see and feel happiness through another person, it is harder to see that it is accessible. This is why it is my LOVE MISSION to get Cinnamon out there to the world in my new REALITY SHOW with SUBSTANCE. And to see a woman (me) who is creating a moment to moment practice to choose love. After all, Cinnamon isn’t going to live forever. We start videoing this Sunday. YIPEEEE!
    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ 

  • Thank you for being so honest and open. It takes a lot to put yourself out there as openly as you have. You hit the nail on the head when you said “It is always easy to celebrate others, but very hard to celebrate ourselves.”

  • Annapate1

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=466990533372658&set=a.109979089073806.15189.109759299095785&type=1&ref=nf Learn to Trust and love yourself  from the inside out,not the other way around!

  • Perfect situation for tapping.

  • Carolina

    I was JUST talking about this yesterday. I have so many aspirations for my life and I have finally launched the business I have wanted. Yeah, I’m not doing it full-time or making money just yet, but I know I will at some point. I realized that part of me is having a hard time realizing that my life’s dreams are slowly coming true and having an issue with accepting that and more importantly, feeling deserving of it. I know the success and wealth I want aren’t for selfish reasons, I know my intentions are good – to enable me to help and care for my family the way I’ve always envisioned. I had a mini breakthrough yesterday as it became clear that there is NO reason why I don’t deserve the life that I’ve dreamed of. Thank you Mastin, I feel your message was just a Uni-Versal reminder that I am worthy of the success I want!

  • Devaki

    Mastin,

    Thanks for this…I have been feeling stuck…like I am on the precipice of something great and can’t get out of my own way. My introspection leads me to believe that the resistance is coming from the ego.  As we expand and evolve the ego does not want to let go of the hold that it has on our lives.  It throws up blocks, obstacles in the form of fears, guilt, sadness and doubts.  I battle each day to connect and transcend the fear and move into my authentic self led by the will of the divine.

    Om, Peace, Shanti.

  • That message could not have come at a better time for me.  Thank you so much.   I’ve come to calling myself “The Fixer.”  Naturally I want to get everyone to where I’m at before I “level up.”  I guess a big helping of feeling worthy, with a side of everybody is where they are supposed to be, finished off with the deserts of deserts, Trust! Thanks for sharing Mastin, you made my day!

  • Heather K

    I’m quickly finding that the Universe often speaks to me through Mastin’s work. I wonder if we all kinda feel that way? Anyways, I woke up this morning with the VERY same issue. For some reason I was faced with an overwhelming sense of guilt. I see it now as my ego’s sneaky attempt to keep me small and seperate. I was focused on what I could and should have done better the day before and how in the present moment because of this I didn’t deserve to be happy, connected, fulfilled or seeing myself as someone who deserved success. I felt as though if others knew of my perceived imperfections that they would not want to work with me this solidifying my unworthiness. That being said, this blog post touched me deeply and reconnected me to the TRUTH. Thank you Mastin & TDL Community 

  • L Henry

    Thanks so much for this blog post. Definitely can relate to this. Im currently in my last semester at college and I think I may be feeling that upper limit problem. I only have 2 1/2 months left to graduate and I’m having melt downs about feeling like I’m not going to get through these last few months… even though I’ve gotten through the past 4 years. This upper limit problem is definitely some food for thought for me. Thanks for your post!

  • Jsche

    Mastin, It’s a Capricorn thing.  Also, find out what your moon sign is and study that.  Moon signs are in your head.  And as Brian Johnson said you can be spiritual and still have money.
    You need money so you can serve.  Get some money in an account that you won’t touch because Capricorn (me) needs security.  At least I do.  I sold my house and that money feels so wonderful and I don’t NEED to touch it.  Yeah.  Also, Spring is coming and the Winter Blues will disappear.  Love Forever, J

  • pb

    As always, TDL has hit the nail on the head. I too have an upper limit problem-I will work on it with TDL constant help. 

  • Bonnielass35

    Wow this was very powerful for me.   My upper limit has to do with love.   I’ve never felt loved for me by anyone.  Definitely not my parents or by any of my relatives,  and not by my ex husband.  He said to me once before we divorced that “No one will love you like I do”.    Since my separation and divorce I have learned how “true” that is in the world of dating.   Then as I worked on myself and worked through my baggage and realized that “Yes, I am worthy of love”.  It was then that I started trusting my intuition in that area and then met the man of my dreams.   We have been together for 14 months now and things are better than ever.   He is so different from any other man I have ever know and I feel completely safe with him in every way, emotionally, physically, etc.   I feel free to be me and I can even be a girl i.e. cry and get emotional, and he doesn’t get scared away.  I feel so loved and secure and yet I still have a hard time believing it is true:  That I can be loved.    I find myself doing things that can sabotage my relationship.  Then I catch myself and stop and then will start again.   I believe that subconiously I don’t really deserve or am worthy of true , soulmate love like I have found with this amazing man. 
    Intellectually I believe I am worthy but subconciously I do not, obviously.  

  • Thecompassrose

    I just want to thank you from my heart for your honesty & vulnerability. I love that you are so forthcoming & sincere about your journey. Yes, this is a big issue I have as well & I can remember being a child and fully getting the message not to shine & I am still undoing that core belief. Again, I can’t thank you enough your honesty delivers the message & creates such a sense that we are all one. I wish you ALL the many successes you SO deserve! Much love & happiness, Tiffany

  • Stealthcow

    PERFECT timing, thank you Mastin.  I’m hitting this very same place over the last month, from opening up to a new  and very healthy romance (so very not the norm) to watching things come together in the realm of my passion.  Simply, thank you for the honesty that I may reflect and feel less alone is this issue.  Accepting good things willingly and fully.  Whew.  Harder than I thought it would be to let go of old outdated ways of living and growing.  But how can we teach others the joys of positive change and life from a center of Love if we can’t enjoy the fruits of it ourselves?!  What a trip.

  • Saundra Robinson

    You deserve it!
    Great article. Not there yet. (the success part, not the upper limit part). But get a grip people. I firmly believe none of you/us would be wherever we are on our success journey if we did not DESERVE to be there. The UNIverse doesn’t waste anything. You are ENOUGH. You are WORTHY. Those that support and love you will continue to do so. Those that don’t were never with you anyway. The best and much success to all of you.

  •  This has been called many things like, “The Imposter Syndrome” and there are all kinds of theories about it. You’re in good company though, because everyone I know who has ever achieved anything has experienced it too, including myself. The whole thing about fearing being abandoned, I experienced that too… I would rise to a certain level of success, even generating $ Millions of dollars for myself and others and then, whoop, I would do something to sabotage it. Thanks to Margaret Paul, author of “Inner Bonding” I realized I was abandoning myself. It’s highly likely that if you’re a person like me who is devoted to the service of others, you might be abandoning yourself, neglecting some other important parts of your life (health, etc). I was so busy taking care of everyone else, I neglected to take care of myself. Fortunately because of my beloved support system, I caught myself, made the necessary adjustments and am now conscious of the limiting beliefs that caused me to do those things. Here’s the great news… the answer to everything seems to be as simple as loving yourself. Give to yourself as much as you give to others. Allow yourself to be loved by others… and by you <3

  • Cathy Pullins

    Mastin,

    Success as you are experiencing and imagining it really may come to an end.  If we focus on the lessons inherent in our current spot we may lighten our acceptance.

  • Dawnteall

    YES !  My upper limit problem currently centers on opening myself up to criticism from people… especially those I don’t know.  Seems the more successful I get, the more input I get from everyone around me, about what I’m doing and how I should do it.  I get tons of positive feedback, but it seems just a little bit of negativity really throws me and makes me resentful.  How do people who are constantly in the spotlight and open to public ridicule keep their confidence up day in and day out?   Especially when they are doing really good work for others without any monetary reward.  I have the drive, stamina, work-ethic and passion to do great things… but I’m afraid I might not have a thick enough skin to graciously handle the success that seems to be coming my way.  Feeling for Anne Hathaway these days. =)

  • Mslabitad

    Omgoodness Mastin!! this is right on the money!! I’ve been struggling with this for years!! This thinking I’m unworthy and this goes for many areas in my life. Thank you for sharing! and bringing this to light. It’s definitely got my wheels turning. Thanks! Love and Blessings!!

  • Sarah al Nour

    YES- I am right on the edge of so many powerful changes and I am scared and I do recognize these messages as the source of the fear and resistance- THANK YOU for your transparency!

  • Sonia

    Mastin,
    Thanks so much for being You !!

  • Soma Pradhan

    I literally feel like I should be on my knees in tears for how powerful your words are today.  I feel like everything I do and stand for is in direct contrast to what my parents have done.  I feel like I have very little support from them, and am doing what they want me to do, and am horribly miserable.  

    I feel like I really needed to read/hear what you wrote today to move forward.  

    Thank you so much for everything!!!!  

  • Wow, two hits on this in 24hrs: Last night I was on Kate’s webinar “The Anatomy of Making Money Online” when she mentioned the book The Big Leap, and then what shows up in my inbox today but your post, mentioning it again via Kate!  I’m currently reading “The Soul of Money” by Lynne Twist, which is another great money-related read…but The Big Leap is definitely next on my list.  

    Thanks for this post, Mastin; I’m definitely recognizing some upper limit problems in myself too, and I love your Byron-Katie-esque ‘is it true’ questions.  They’re great reminders and points of reference when those upper limit feelings come calling.

    Big love,
    Kelly

  • Matt Turner

    Appreciate your openness, Mastin.  Something I can relate to for sure.  Congrats on your success, much deserved.  Sending you lots of Love and Prosperity.

  • Bingo on the first two questions – we have a bingo ladies and gentlemen…

    First I am blessed with a husband who is completely supportive of my successes and failures – lucky girl I am.  However, some family and some close friends – not so much although would never admit it.  I went through an exercise today on this (before reading this entry) with the help of a Gabby Bernstein book and that why this is so resonating with me.  I have been working on a book for almost three years, and one comment made by my closest friend about how I shouldn’t do that because I don’t know how, can’t get from point A to B and if I was successful, I would outshine their success has been playing like a broken record in my head forever.  I have felt unworthy and guilty for a long time. 

    As it is said – once a problem is named, it can be addressed.  Hard to heave this guilt but it must be done to break those upper limits and get out and do what I want and what I know I have the capability of doing! 

    Thank you for your work, your inspiration, and the timing of finding you.
    Blessings,
    Caro

  • Kim

    I could leave paragraphs of comment here but instead I will say thank you.  I needed to hear this.  

  • GoddessLove

    Hey Mastin,

    I know how it feels  when you have choosen you want more in love and happiness, so you start taking steps to get there. And you then find yourself getting more. The guilt and the question comes in  “Can I have it all?’ and you take a minute and look around you and see others that want it too and you want to take them with you (lol This is so LOVING of you 🙂 ) I get like that a lot. But at those moments you realize that your being transformed into something for a greater purpose and there will be times when you have to be away from others for in order for that growth to develop.

    This is where I am at with family, and relationships. I find myself walking forward, and then looking back and seeing people that aren’t moving with me. And getting phone calls from loved ones that are needing me and my  encouragement/strengths. This has made me feel guilty, but I started seeing it differently, I have been around and talked about love, and inspirational truth that now its their time to dig in themselves and pull it out and see that they have what it takes too.

    Our hearts are soooo Big, but remember that we need to be served as well. Because the more we are blessed the more we can be a blessing to others my friend 🙂

    God is Good all the time &
     
    The Universe Has Our backs, and we can trust it.

  • Abigail

    Spot on again, Mastin! Thanks for that. I think the upper limit problem is almost like when I have a “waiting for the other shoe to drop” mindset and when it doesn’t, I probably actually force it. I’ve seen this in my relationships but feel that its there in my financial mindset, too (which I just realized now, thanks to your blog) but one that I still can’t pinpoint how exactly.

    Anyway, thanks again for all that you do. Much love.

  • Wendy

    OH THANK YOU SO MUCH MASTIN-I AM SOSOSO THERE.  Launching a business for a second time so dear to my heart around our social crisis’, our children , gun violence, true compassion for one another-my lifes work on so many levels and I have not been able to get above absolute poverty while appearing relatively successful to others.  49 and hitting these core beliefs despite 20 years of inner work with many different practitioners.  It truly is an “inside job”.  I am so grateful to your honesty.  Skeletons keep us isolated.  My dear friend Trish sent me the link for your website and blog…Truly inspiring, you rock!

  • Mastin, congratulations on all that goodness you are immersed in.  Thank you for bringing the Upper Limit to light.  I read a brief article about the Upper Limit a while ago, but didn’t remember the term.  I’m definitely going to grab the book.

    Earlier this week, I put 2 and 2 together and realized that the three times I’ve gotten sick the past couple of months is directly connected to my launch calendar.  In fact, I have gotten sick a week prior to the proposed launch dates.  Last Monday, I had a couple of important meetings about expanding my brand…I was nervous and insecure that whole day from the new conversations and then the next morning I was achey and wiped out.  I was sick the rest of the week.  

    It is as if I’ve been waiting patiently in line for a roller coaster ride that I’m so excited for, I get to the front of the line and my stomach turns and I push off the fun wild ride to later.

    The good news is that I’m breaking through and raising my upper limit by moving forward, yet respecting my nourish time. 

  • Brenda Becker

    Mastin, I have been following your blog for a few months now. First, thank you so much for being you. You have been such an encouragement to me to be authentically myself. Second, after reading the quotes of this post, I sent a friend of mine a copy. I want to tell you what I told him because I believe you both need to hear this and I believe this is true for both of you, really for all of us.You are meant to shine so bright that people have to hide their eyes to adjust to the light. If you hold back this light, they will not have the maximum awareness you give and won’t be able to shine as brightly themselves. Shine, Mastin, Shine. You are lovely and bright. Love you

  • Alexandra Telluselle

    I so loved that book. I read it some two years ago and it explained and helped me heal to take the next step… until Someone called ICE on me and created a false story which I’m still fighting and suffering from after a years detention without any criminal charge. (Immigration is a civil case but we are treated as criminals in the US) right when I was two weeks from starting a job assignment, publishing my book about entering my heart in Hawaii and get ready to start my own organic wellness center… So, I can certainly feel with you Mastin. Trusting in our success is hard.
    /Alexandra

  • Wow! This post really resonated with me. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully!

    I wish you continued and expanded success…and the ability to welcome and embrace it fully.

    Love,
    Joyce PerryTHRIVE International

  • LS

    Mastin and the TDL Community,

    Here are two of my favorite quotes.

    We have been impossible right from the beginning and we must continue to
    be impossible because we are raising a voice against suffering which
    has been considered to be the nature of life. It is our joy to be
    considered impossible – and it is our greater joy to make the impossible
    a living reality. (Maharishi Mahesh Yogi)

    “Real success comes from being able to detach yourself from results, anxiety, and judgment”- Russell Simmons

    Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. That is what makes you wonderful. JUST ENJOY!

  • Cat Bond

    Great article. I had seen marie forleo write about this one time too and i’m so glad to see it again, but it confirms that it is quite common. I’m currently making a transition in my life and got a sinus infection that left me in bed and a little depressed a couple days 2 weeks ago, then my 5 year old got the flu, then I got the flu and got my period a week early during the flu! ugh! and I got quite depressed and hopeless during all this.  this may seem just like sickness to some, but i’m very healthy and can’t remember the last time I was so bed ridden. at least over 5 years. thank goodness I had seen all this before b/c part of me feels I was “detoxing” the emotion of fear and uncertainty! 

  • Thank you Mastin for sharing! I enjoy your daily blog and make sure I read it each morning. I too do a daily blog called The Magic of Guided Wisdom and I too upper limit at times as I expand more into my universe! I am inspired by hearing others stories of their process in these changing times so I thank you for sharing yours.

  • Love that book! Thanks for sharing, I’m definitely experiencing something similar and am working on it…

  • Wow, this is kind of hitting true for me. I finished the first draft of a novel a couple of weeks ago and fell straight into despair. People I told were happy for me, but the more people were happy for me, the worse I felt. I’m just not comfortable being happy about this (or in general). Happiness for me is so fleeting, that it’s almost not even there at all. And to give into a moment of happiness only makes me feel worse later. That combined with how difficult the process is to finish something for me – the bittersweet feeling I didn’t think other people were ‘getting’ – just made me feel awful about something, which should have be celebrated.

  • hiwy

    Ahh! This is soooo true! And came at the perfect time!!!!! i just got into the best graduate programs in my field, I passed the two year mark with my amazing boyfriend, I feel financially stable and I honestly, can’t think of anything missing. I was elated when I found out that I got accepted to my dream schools last week but shortly after….I just didn’t know how to BE. And like you said, I am super grateful that I have everything I have but for some reason, my first instinct is to look up how hard it really is to get into those schools (with the voices in my head saying “cause if I got in, it cant be that hard”) and I find reasons to be scared of the two year mark in my relationship when I KNOW i have an incredible relationship, and i feel the need to spend my work bonus as soon as I get it cause I can’t possibly deserve that much money in my bank account. It is crazy how our thoughts work! And it is so nice to know I am not the only one. I really wanna read Gay’s book now. Thanks Mastin 🙂