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Are You Loved And Accepted As You Are Without Judgment And Is Your Journey Home Being Nurtured And Encouraged?

Quality intimate relationships are certainly not my strong point!  However I am now creating space for a soul partner. I believe it is the will of The Uni-verse that I attract a loving, caring and supportive partner. It’s part of my “Journey Home” to feel worthy and deserving of love and intimacy.

But I don’t believe there is much possibility for a healthy, open and giving relationship if I drag along truckloads of past baggage to be magically fixed by a new love interest!

For most of my adult life I was seeking relationships to fix my own brokenness. I attracted partners that I thought I could  fix in hopes that somehow I could fix my relationship with my father.

My relationships were a pretty accurate reflection of my own self-worth and self-love. I was attracting my mirror!

Because I learned to keep my feelings buried as a child, I pretty much learned how to keep them stuffed down in my relationships as well. My fear was that if I opened up and risked being vulnerable, the trauma of my childhood would repeat itself.  If I am open, I will get hurt again!

As a result of this early childhood conditioning, I often confused love with pity, so I tended to attract those I thought I could rescue. It was much easier, I thought, to focus my efforts elsewhere; as long as I wasn’t trying to fix me, it was okay.

I often put people in relationships on pedestals and let them take the initiative for my life’s directions and choices. I was looking for The Uni-verse in other people and it never worked. It was always a disaster. We all have our weakness’s and our dark sides. That’s what makes us human.

I am now willing to turn this all around and make space for the love that The Uni-verse wants for me.

I have a vision board with images that represent my ideal partner. I have the description quoted on the vision board and it’s on my iPhone as well.

And I am going for gold! Because that’s the will of The Uni-verse for my life!

The partner I attract will be an extension and a reflection of The Uni-verse’s safety and respect for me.

The partner I attract will be a reflection of The Uni-verse’s understanding and compassion for me.

The partner I attract will see the The Uni-verse in me.

The partner I attract will bring me closer to The Uni-verse.

You may think this is a tall order and wonder if such person could ever exist?  “Surely they would have to be made out of clay!!”

Will such a partner ever show up?

The answer is simple: “When I become it, they will!” Because we attract our mirror! We attract a reflection of our own self-worth and self- love.

So where are you in the relationship department?

Do you have someone in your life who is a mirror of your self-love and self-worth?

Are you loved and accepted as you are without judgment and is your “Journey Home” being nurtured and encouraged?

You deserve all this and more!

I would love to hear from you.

Please drop a comment below.

Much Love & Welcome Home.

Ryf.

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Ryf Van Rij is a coach and creator of “The Daily Way Home.”  He has also been an Actor, a Commercial Pilot, a Business Co-Owner and an Events Coordinator at a Major City Art Gallery.

  • Michael P Rawlins

    Wow. I’ve been doing exactly what you did for so long. I pushed away one who genuinely wanted to love me and help me so that I could focus on “saving “someone else. Thanks for the wake up call.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002718711946 River Ashley

    Sharing.Thankyou.

  • DominguezM

    Hello, first all, thank you for sharing. It’s great and helpful for others. As I was reading I identified with you, and at the end I know you are right, but in my case I need strenght to accomplished. Any sugestions? Thanks again.

    Dom

  • Kelly Daniels

    Hmmm…I think we were perhaps made for each other….nothing like divine sincronicity…you just never know….;)
    Nice to hear someone with common understanding. Thanks for sharing…
    Kelly

  • Christina T

    What you are saying resonates with me. If we can’t take care of ourselves and nurture/love who we are at the core, how can we accept another into our lives? I am on that same journey, as most of us are, to discovering and revealing those deeper things we hold onto from childhood, life experience etc. Reflection, writing, meditation and yoga have done wonders for me and my goal is to inspire others to do the same. Keep up the positive attitude and you will attract your loved one. :)  

  • http://twitter.com/seefancylove seefancylove

    That was beautiful! I know it exists. It wasn’t UNTIL I became the love that I was seeking that I attracted someone that was a reflection of me. I always knew exactly what I deserved and would not accept anything less and it came so effortlessly. Never tried looking for it…it just came. It’s the love that I wish for everyone to have. Blessings to you.

  • http://twitter.com/AuroratheRose Aurora Rose Truth

    Wow, got me thinking; I’ve read before, I know in my head that we attract who we think we are, our world is a reflection of who we think we are, I think I’m just getting it at a deeper level, like I really have to show up and love myself before I can expect anyone else to do likewise; thank you!

  • Heather

    Thank you for sharing this. I am working through much the same right now and it helps to know I’m not alone. You most definitely deserve all you have asked for and more! I would however encourage you to consider changing one thing about your descriptions. From the work that I have done with affirmation, I have found that putting what I am seeking in the present tense to be much more powerful. 
    For example, instead of ”
    The partner I attract will be a reflection of The Uni-verse’s understanding and compassion for me”, “The partner I attract IS a reflection of the Uni-verse’s understanding and compassion for me”. That way, the statement is already true in the present, not in some moment off in the future. Maybe that doesn’t fit for you, but thought I would offer the idea. Remember, what you are seeking is also seeking you! 
    Wishing you peace, love and happiness.

  • A

    I do believe that by being my most authentic self, I will attract the love that I deserve and desire.  I will smile believing that I have abundance.  I hope that I am treasuring my love everyday and that he knows it and can feel it from far away.  Thank you for writing this, it was just the encouragement I needed to receive today.  May your kindness be returned to you and IT WILL so be on the lookout! :)

  • RobP

    Great post, Ryf. I am in a similar place, having spent much of my adulthood pursuing unattainable (for one reason or another) men while pushing away those who showed interest in me. My core belief was that I was unlovable, so before anyone else could reject me, I rejected them. Pursuing those who were unattainable was a safe way of playing at relationships without actually being “real” in them. I’m finally evolving to the place where I not only believe that I’m worthy of a healthy relationship, but will settle for nothing less.