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Are You Ready To Meet Frustration With Love?

HillaryPike1 Full Side Portrait010512After an intense seven month journey around the world, one of the most important gifts I feel I have received is to show more compassion for human suffering. Suffering can come in many forms but the form I have seen it show up in the most as of late is anger and frustration.

I recently read The Daily Love blog by Tommy Rosen where he spoke of a woman who was rude to him at Whole Foods. It made me think of how at some point or another we all experience someone lashing out towards us in anger. This can often happen to people who stand in the light, as some people who are not feeling the light can react in anger towards those who are because it is reflecting their own sense of lack.

Many of us at some point or another have most likely had a person in our lives who we classified as “negative.” But is there really such a thing as a person who is just plain negative? Or are they just shut down and hurting?

I do not feel that people at their core are negative. I feel people get into harsh energetic spaces for many reasons. The human experience can be challenging. Many of us are walking around with scars and walls over our hearts trying to inflict pain because we are experiencing a great deal of pain ourselves and afraid of being hurt even more.

It is so hard not to lash out at people who lash out at us. It is like we immediately and naturally go into defensive mode and want to yell back something like you do not know what I am going through, don’t mess with me!! I know I have felt that way many times in my life; it is shocking to be met with harsh energy and there have been times where my automatic reaction was to meet anger with anger or rudeness with rudeness.

You never really know why someone is not able to be in a loving space. And we do not like it when we are feeling resentful, angry, sad or full of fear, yet we get mad at each other when we are in it. It is because it is hard not to take things personally. We always make it about ourselves by saying things like “why are you acting this way around me”? or “how could you treat me like this?” We buy into the illusion of separation. But as Buddha once said, the self is only an illusion.

We all have our own challenges and our own triggers. I am currently working towards healing my own challenges with my hormones and PMS. A few days out of the month I feel absolutely terrible. These days are challenging and I feel as though the voices in my head try to bring me down by saying that the grumpy miserable sad person, I feel like in that moment is who I truly am. What is even more upsetting is when I feel that other people around me take how I am feeling personally.

When I am feeling this way, I wish that someone would walk up to me and say I know this is not you. I know it must feel terrible to feel this out of balance and sad. I am sorry you feel this way; I know it has nothing to do with me. You do whatever you need to heal and feel better.
I feel that if partners could do this for each other when they are experiencing PMS, hormonal imbalance or even hangry-ness (when a hungry person becomes angry) it would help many relationships.

The idea of not taking things personally is a well-known spiritual principle that most of us learn on our journey at some point – but how do we really incorporate it into our daily lives? The answer is and always will be COMPASSION.

I share many of these principles in my inner bliss guidance coaching session, and a common theme I see is that many people are lacking compassion for themselves, which makes it challenging to have compassion for others.

The truth is, you never really know what someone else is going through. You never really know what is going on in someone else’s mind, or what they are experiencing, or even if they may or may not be hormonally balanced or triggered. There are many reasons why people lash out. Instead of being angry with the fact that someone else is angry, try seeing yourself through their eyes and say, I am sorry you feel this way. I know it is not your highest truth.

I do not believe the world is filled with negative people, I believe there are many people in the world who need healing. You do not know what they are suffering from, but if they are acting out of anger, there is a good chance they are suffering. Instead of meeting anger with anger you can meet anger with compassion. This person does not need to have their suffering met with more suffering, they need their suffering to be met with love and compassion.

English is spoken differently in India and oftentimes it can be confusing, yet there was one difference in particular that I really enjoyed. In the west we say: Are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you sad? When in truth we are not anger, hunger, or sadness. In India they would ask: Are you feeling hunger? Are you feeling sadness? Are you feeling anger?

This lower, slower or harsh energy that someone is expressing is not who they really are – it is instead what they are feeling. If we can have more compassion for our feelings and the feelings of others knowing that during this human experience we all experience wounds and put up walls. If we can see ourselves in the eyes of others and can learn to love them no matter how they are feeling in the moment and love ourselves no matter how we are feeling too, we would see our world change for the better!

By showing compassion to others when they are feeling lower and slower energies, we are giving them the necessary space they need to heal. The question to ask yourself is: Do you want to bring more suffering or more healing into this world?

I choose healing, what do you choose?

Love,

Hillary

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Hillary Pike is a 500-hour certified Kundalini and Hatha Yoga Instructor and Meditation Guide. Her mission is to provide you with techniques that will help you expand your awareness and remember your Grace. Hillary is hosting Awaken Love Yoga Retreat in Costa Rica this November. For information on her events or for Inner Bliss Guidance visit: www.beingrace.com
Follow her on twitter and facebook.

 

  • Todd Lohenry

    Excellent post. I believe that only when you practice self-compassion will you notice the suffering of others and extend compassion to them in turn.

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      It was in my own suffering in India, that I developed compassion for myself that allowed me to see this more deeply in others. I completely agree that it all starts with you. Namaste Todd, thank you for your comment.

  • Brian in Denver

    Oh, so wonderful. Hil, your posts are bright and clear, rich, simple, and deep. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Love Brian in Denver

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      Thank you for reading Brian. Much love to you.

  • David H. Breaux

    Thank you Hillary for sharing these words. Compassion is always the response to pain in order to bring Light into darkness. Reminds me of Thich Nhat Hanh’s message,

    “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”

    Also reminds me of Byron Katie’s message that defense is the first act of war.

    With compassion,
    David H. Breaux

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      Thank you David! This is one of my favorite quotes. Thank you for posting it:

      “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply
      within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need
      punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”

      Making the conscious choice to meet suffering with healing instead of suffering with more suffering takes awareness, but this is how we bring healing into this world. Wishing you a lovely Sunday!

      • David H. Breaux

        You’re welcome Hillary. Enjoy this day as well.

  • Priya Agency

    Thank you so much for this Hillary. I experienced this myself this week and got tripped up a little bit because I spend so much time surrounding myself with amazing souls. It was hard to reframe but I remember my old trick to healing wounds and threw down some forgiveness and sent out a prayer for them .

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      This reminded me of a beautiful song from the Agape choir that says: I pray that you will see the best of life, the best of love, the very best of everything. Forgive and see the best of life, the best of love, the very best of everything. It is starts with forgiveness, forgive the pain and forgive the illusion. Much love to you!

  • Maria Elena Dominguez

    Thank you for sharing, A needed priority !

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      Thank you Maria!

  • Diane Watson Teats

    I choose compassion and healing! I choose love of self and of others! We are all energies in motion to our higher self, so choose a better feeling in this moment! Look to the light, feel how bright , know all the wondrous possibilities!!! Much love Hilliary my beaming heart!

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      Thank you Diane! “We are all energies in motion to our higher self, so choose a better feeling in this moment” – so beautiful and so true. Much love to you dear one.

  • Justin

    I loved this article. Great timing. Thank you!

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      Thank you Justin!

  • http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen

    YES! The answer is always compassion – I truly believe that as we respond and live with more compassion the world’s greatest conflicts will dissipate! Thank you for such an insightful blog, I love reading everything you write!!!

    • Hillary Pike Yoga

      Thank you Michael. I love everything you write as well!!! Namaste :)