Are You Struggling With The Perfection Monster?

donnagatesOh, the Perfection Monster!

You’ve met, right? If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky.

The Perfection Monster may seem orderly, pure, and beautiful. But, don’t be fooled!.

You see – I’ve had many encounters with the Perfection Monster.

It always happens when I am focused on a deadline. When I am too lost in the details. When I get hung up on the results. Or, maybe I’m not paying attention to the people in my life — and the Perfection Monster creeps up behind me.

You may run into the Perfection Monster when you are down on your luck —when things seem like they can’t get any worse. Speaking from experience, this is when I have been hardest on myself.

You will see the Perfection Monster when it is least welcome in your life. Like in the midst of healing from a broken relationship or trying to make financial ends meet.

This is because the Perfection Monster takes life very seriously. So it loves very serious life issues. It is always moving from one project to another, one person to another — always attempting to fix what seems imperfect. Control what is out of balance. Eliminate what is wrong.

The Perfection Monster is so uncomfortable in its own skin. All it sees are problems and flaws. If you become friends with the Perfection Monster, you too begin to see the world as dismal, dark, and broken.

I do not recommend hanging out with the Perfection Monster.

Real perfection is wholeness. Totality. It is the ability to see it ALL — including the goofy mistakes, the missteps, and the errors — as a part of something infinite and totally complete.

Things like beauty, order, and purity come from the quirks, the kinks, the bends, and the obstacles in life.

Real perfection cannot be measured and adhered to like a set of laws. Real perfection is the good and the bad. The dark and the light. It is the constant dance between utter fullness and absolute emptiness.

The end of the year is often a time when we look back on how fast the year has sped past us and on all the things we didn’t achieve. All the projects left unchecked. All the goals not achieved. It’s part of the reason new year’s resolutions offer such promise. Such hope.

In health or weight-loss goals, I believe in honoring where you are. As Abraham teaches, “I am where I am.” And where you are is at the edge of changing your perspective to gain a sense of relief. To do that, I say take it step by step.

For my clients, I would recommend first adding a small amount of fermented vegetables to meals or a few ounces of a probiotic beverage like coconut water kefir. That’s all.

But people often feel they have to change everything at once, because they want the end goal now. That is the Perfection Monster sabotaging your health, longevity, mental and emotional well-being.

Remember that there is a little bit of light in every fall, every blemish, and every failure. Go ahead and shoo the Perfection Monster and the expectations and the stress along because there’s nothing here to fix.




Are you not living to your potential? Do you have health problems that you can’t seem to find the right answers for resolving? Take the Candida quiz as well as learn more about the Body Ecology Diet, download recipes, and receive a FREE Quick Start Guide and audios on detoxification/weight loss, visit

Donna Gates, bestselling author of The Body Ecology Diet and The Body Ecology Guide to Growing Younger, is on a mission to change the way the world eats. Over the past 25 years, she has become one of the most beloved and respected authorities in the field of digestive health, diet and nutrition, enjoying a worldwide reputation as an expert in candida, adrenal fatigue, autism, autoimmune diseases, weight loss and anti-aging.

  • Kristen

    Wow is this right on target! I always thought perfectionism was a bad habit or a mental defect (like OCD), but when you see it from a spiritual perspective things really open up. Now to stop my perfectionism from saying, ‘Don’t be a perfectionist’! Just kidding. Sort of. Thank you for your insightful comments.

    And how did you sneak in my mind and find out all those perfectionist things I was thinking???

    • The Daily Love

      Haha! Kristen, you’re too funny! We’re glad to hear that things are opening up for you!! -Team TDL

  • Kelly

    I also love this! Thank you. Especially in pointing out how the perfectionist can only see flaws in the world, making it a dark place. This really was enlightening for me.

    • The Daily Love

      It’s strange how aiming toward that which seems to be perfect can do that to the world around us. So glad you found this helpful, Kelly! -Team TDL

  • David H. Breaux

    Hi Donna and readers,

    Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom gained from it.

    I heard an apropos maxim recently, “Perfectionism is limiting.”

    With compassion,
    David H. Breaux