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I’m finally getting around to reading Steven Pressfield’s amazing follow up to “The War of Art” – it’s called “Turning Pro” and it’s a masterpiece. He’s done it again.
In the book, one of my favorite themes that Pressfield talks about is the difference between the addict and the artist. They are basically inverses of each other. The addict hides from the pain of life; the artist uses the pain of life to make something beautiful.
It’s such a wonderful distinction that Pressfield makes, the addict vs. the artist. I said on Super Soul Sunday last week, “Everyone has a God-sized hole in them.” And it’s what we choose to do with that God-sized hole that counts.
I used to fill it with drugs and alcohol, sex and ambition. But lately (over the last few years), I’ve been able to fill it up with something else.
It’s interesting how life works. One of my intentions in the last month or two is to conquer my focusing problem without Adderall or any prescription drugs. In doing so, I went to my Chinese medicine doctor and found out my neurotransmitters are off in my brain (the feel good chemicals). She gave me a homeopathic solution and it has worked WONDERS.
I feel SO focused. And I feel amazing. That “good feeling” I have been chasing for so long with sugar has gone away and I feel it naturally. She said something to me that changed my life forever; she said, “No amount of willpower can overcome your biochemistry.”
I had a biochemical problem within me that I was trying to fix with willpower – no wonder it had never worked before! Here I was beating myself up, thinking that people like me can’t lose weight, I’m a bad person for having bad willpower, and hating myself for not being able to stop.
And all I was doing was self-medicating to get a temporary hit of the neurotransmitters I was lacking.
So the God-sized hole that was within me was not only emotional and spiritual, it was also biochemical. This makes total sense because we are all body-mind-soul people. I had focused on the soul and the mind, but the body was lacking. And it makes sense because up until now I had not put my attention of intention to this part of my life. It was an “AH-HA” moment and my former addictive behavior came into light.
Not only was I trying to fill the void of feeling spiritually disconnected from The Uni-verse, and the emotional void of not having community or self-love, I was also trying to fill the void of not having the proper biochemistry to allow my body to experience wellbeing.
It was a breakthrough. And what’s great is that I have never felt better than ever AND I can now focus. I have not been able to focus my whole life. I feel SO blessed to have been able to experience this breakthrough! This awareness also allows me to have more compassion for myself. Why? Because before, I applied a MEANING to my addictive behavior – I was “a bad person” or I was “wrong” or “incapable”. But now I see I was simply yearning for The Divine, yearning for self-love, yearning for community, yearning to be of service and yearning for a balanced biochemistry!
Please do not take this blog as medical advice. Please make sure to check with your own doctor, Chinese medicine doctor, naturopath, etc. before taking any medical advice from me, a college drop out!
But – with that said – what do you yearn for? Are you using addiction to escape your calling?
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