Do you ever find that in order to keep a commitment, you have to trick yourself?
For example, I was leading a teleseminar on the topic of time the other day, and one of my clients told me that, in her dream life, she would exercise in the evenings. The problem, however, is that she knows that while she is at work, she will “be consumed” by tasks and a never-ending email inbox, and will blow off her workout. So, she has learned to “work around” herself and exercise in the mornings.
Now, all of these solutions may seem perfectly reasonable, at first glance. After all, each person found a solution that got them the end goal they wanted: a workout, abstaining from sugar, visiting family and staying out of debt. But by “working around” themselves, they actually cemented themselves as being people who need to be worked around. Think about it. Do you really want to be working around yourself?
Take my sugar example. Do I really want to have a relationship to myself where I can’t be trusted to not devour every sweet substance in sight, like a swarm of locusts? Am I proud of being compared to a wild insect? Not really. Sure, I may avoid eating sugar by clearing my pantry of it, but my relationship to my word to myself is pretty poor. I have almost no power to make momentary choices that align with my highest vision for myself. In short, I am like a bratty child who needs to be managed, not reasoned with. Do we really want to be that bratty child?
Granted, these work-around methods can be a good way for you to start building your Personal Integrity® in an area: not eating sugar, not fighting with family, not going into debt, etc. But once you have laid a foundation of integrity, it’s time to move on from a work-around into developing a mature, powerful relationship with yourself. The goal here, folks, is to practice keeping your word to yourself, no matter what. Where, if you say you will workout this evening, or you will design a fun family holiday, or you will not touch the bag of brown sugar in your cabinet, you keep your word to yourself. Because your word is law. We call this Personal Integrity®, and it’s like a muscle that gets stronger with practice.
There are lots of benefits of developing your “muscle” of Personal Integrity®. The first is that, let’s face it, you likely won’t be able to find a work-around for everything that you need to do in your life, and having Personal Integrity® means you won’t have to. You can just go directly for the “jugular” of whatever task you know you need to do.
The second, and more profound reason, is self-confidence and pride. Let me tell you, folks, that few things feel better than knowing that you can count on yourself to take on and follow through with anything, and you do. You walk around as someone you are proud to know, a great person, a person who inspires you. And you get to go home each and every night with that person. It’s a treat and a privilege that I highly recommend.
Where are you “working around” your brat? And what will you do to take on the brat directly? Write me a note and share!
Love,
Samantha
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Originally heralding from academia, Dr. Samantha Sutton now combines her scientific background with her creativity and love of humanity to help people “engineer” better lives for themselves. She is a Senior Coach, Vice President and Director of Courses and Seminars for The Handel Group® where she designs and leads the Life Coaching Crash Course, an eye-opening weekend workshop that provides a deep, comprehensive and productive examination of your life and what needs to change in order for you to live the life you desire.
If you are ready for 2013 to be the year that you finally take down your brat and step up the results in your life, the Life Coaching Crash Course is the best place to start. See our workshop dates in NYC, London, Los Angeles and Boston.
