Before you set another goal – READ THIS!

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It was an AWESOME week last week with Love Uni-versity: Discover the Wisdom of Your Fear! We had all kinds of breakthroughs and “ah-ha” moments during the week. What was ALSO rad about it is that we did our first ever Group Mentoring LIVE in Hollywood!

It was SO much fun – I’ve never done LIVE before and I gotta say, I LOVE it! So expect more LIVE things from TDL in the next 12 months!

One of our brave participants really stood out on the final day of Group Mentoring LIVE. She wanted to go to France to get her MBA. And at the beginning of the week, it was pretty obvious to me that getting her MBA was not her next step, if she was following what SHE wanted to do. Upon digging further we found out that she wanted to get an MBA because her father wanted her to get an MBA. And the reason why she wanted to go to France was to get AWAY and BREAK FREE!

She, like so many other daily lovers, is an amazing person. So she decided to COMBINE her father’s wish for her, which is to get an MBA with her desire to break free (à la going to France) – and BOOM – there you have it – going to France to get an MBA. She also believed that to do all this required so much planning.

What she came to realize at the end of the week was profound. I asked her “If the MBA was off the table, would you still go to France?” And her answer was an immediate – “HELL YES!” Now I’m a BIG believer in education, but there are MANY ways to educate yourself. My TRUE mission is to help people drop into their purpose and break through all the blocks that prevent them from doing so.

And in this case, what she REALLY wanted was to EXPLORE. But she thought she needed her father’s approval to do it, so she tied in getting an MBA. What she realized is that she could go to France NOW without waiting. And she could do the things she wanted NOW without having to plan. And that it was safe for her to do what SHE wanted, instead of what someone else wanted her to do.

This is the crazy thing about goal setting. We set goals so that we can feel a certain kind of feeling – happy, secure, abundant, etc. But many times the goals that we set are not in alignment with being able to sustainably bring us these feelings. What’s more, we may not even be setting goals that are our own, we may be setting goals so that mom, or dad or our tribe approve of us.

This is why we MUST live a Self-Approved life. This life is NOT a dress rehearsal and it is up to us to be able to do the work so that we can uncover our mission and to pursue it NOW. Not in the future, not 10 years from now, but NOW. And quite frankly the only person’s permission we need is… you got it, our own!

So, are you setting any goals because you want to make someone ELSE happy? What goals would you set if it were about following what YOU love? The TDL Community comes alive in the comments below, so leave a comment and let’s keep the conversation going!



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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Goal Setter

    I have a really hard time setting up goals I want, rather than what others want. I have to explore getting some tools on learning on how to set goals what I want. I have always had a hard time setting goals in general.


    • Barbara Hames

      Find out what your strengths are and that will give you the confidence to trust your decisions on what is your best course. ‘Now Discover Your Strengths” is an excellent book to help with this. Good luck, Goal Setter!

  • Cjones Ku

    This is such a great topic about goal setting. It is already hard enough to keep our own goals. I don’t know why as humans we feel that we need other people’s approval to make our own decisions. It is important to follow your own path and do what makes you happy. While reading this I was totally thinking of my brother and his gf! They both just moved to France to get their MBA 2 weeks ago. SUPER EXCITING! It is definitely an encouragement to me.  They planned their goal over a year ago, and now they are there. I am enjoying seeing all their pictures already and now my goal is to go and visit them next spring. Again, thanks for sharing!

  • TrackerM

    I worry about whether other people will agree with my goals or think badly of me for wanting to walk the path I choose. That is so sad & I realise after the wonderful course this week that I have to choose my path without fear of what others will think. It is my life, not theirs. Fact is that my family & dearest friends want what’s best for me & vice versa. We must follow our souls path.

  • Jo

    Hi Mastin. I really like thedailylove because it helps me to improve my English and I’m also big (huge!) fan of the way you think about life/love etc!! But right now I feel I need to share my opinion about what you wrote. The girl apparently wanted to get away from her dad because she wanted to be free. First thought that came into my mind was.. Great! But who’s paying her living costs in France? If she’s doing that herself than thats really great! But if she’s living of her dad then she’s not really ‘free’ from him is she? Its awesome to have dreams, but if someone else is paying the costs for your dreams, it sounds irresponsible to me.  (not referring to the girl because I dont know her situation).. 

    The other thing that came into my mind is my own situation 2 years ago. I moved to another country to be ‘free’ from my folks. I payed everything myself, had the best 2 years of my life and learned things that I might not have learned had I stayed. But after these 2 years I finally realised that the real challenge was to come back and face them (and others) as the ‘new’ person I became. I am now (getting there!) at peace with who I am and who my parents are. 

    I do agree with your advice though! She should definatly go! I just felt I needed to type this 🙂 Thank you for this post!! xx

  • Barbara Hames

    Great TDL today, Mastin. I will check my goal setting is for me and not for someone else. It definitely used to be!

  • I know this story all too well.  My parents wanted me to be a Dental Hygienist and because I wanted to please them and myself, I said, “YES.”  I knew it was something I could do since I work well with people, but cleaning teeth was and is not my passion. I went away for college because I wanted to be “FREE” of their control.  Almost 20 years later, I work one day a week.  Many people over the years have told me how lucky I am to make decent money, work 3-4 days a week in a stress free environment, and not have to take my job home with me.  Although I agreed, I also knew-I had sold my soul.  I am now 42 years old, married, a mother, a writer, and a motivational speaker on the one and only truth…LOVE. I know who I am and what I am suppose to do;  I AM MORE FREE THAN EVER.  It is never too late!  It was my lesson. I do not regret a thing, and I say, “YES,” to it all!!! I know my parents did what they knew how and it is up to me to change the cycle for my son. I also met my spiritual mentor, Cinnamon Lofton, in my dental chair who has helped me change my life to be one of service. There are no coincidences. Thanks Mastin.

  • I must say that I am on the right track! All because a year ago, I subscribed to the daily love and my life turned 360 for the better. Thank you Mastin!

  • Freda

    Wow! What an awesome article.  How liberating it is to pursue the goals that are truly your own.

  • dap

    Freedom does not come from the environment–it comes from within….


    Dis article is a really lovely one but d problem is dat I don’t even know wat I love.pls help kipp,tnx.