Being Euphoric

So many of us are people-pleasers. We’re concerned with what others think of us, their feelings towards us and how we can best please our friends, families, acquaintances and more. But while all of these are wonderful qualities that shouldn’t be overlooked, they should not – no, they CANNOT – come at the expense of our own feelings, desires, wants and needs. Caring for others and being concerned with the wellbeing of others cannot depend on our compromising ourselves, our values or our own self-worth.

I recently caught myself in a situation like this where I was intuitively putting the feelings of someone else not merely ahead of my own but at the expense of my own. This wasn’t a close friend, a sibling or a situation in which this was warranted (because there are, most certainly, situations in which our feelings should come second to those of someone else – even people we’re not particularly close with!). Rather, without getting into details, this was a situation in which my life goals and desires would have been severely hampered in the process of trying to make someone else happier – someone who (again, without getting into details) was undeserving of such a compromise.

This is not to say that you should put yourself first or above others all of the time. In fact, this is not to say that you should put yourself above others any time. Rather, you shouldn’t put others before yourself when it involves compromising yourself, your values or your worth. Caring for others, being concerned with their wants, needs and desires is what makes a good person – but it cannot come at the expense of your own wants, needs and desires. It cannot come at the expense of your own value or self-worth.

For most of us (myself included!), this is hard to stomach. We’re told from a young age to be kind to others, to be empathetic, to treat everyone with respect and kindness. And while all of these things are all essential, amazing and necessary, all of these “rules” need to be followed by a strong disclaimer: not at the expense of your own wellbeing. Well, not if you want to live a euphoric life anyway…

I can’t help but think that it’s no coincidence that euphoria ultimately has “you” in it – because without prioritizing yourself, without valuing your own worth and happiness, you really can’t be euphoric.

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Alexis Wolfer is a real beauty ambassador and the founder of The Beauty Bean, an online magazine that promotes self-confidence through beauty, fashion, fitness, nutrition and more. She is also the creator of the international and viral Makeup Free Mondays movement and can be found tweeting about all things real and realistic beauty at@AlexisWolfer.

  • Positive Minds

    After working with a group of young people this summer, this exact sentiment came up in the class.  What started off as a teen class, became an intergenerational class, with college students and senior citizens.  The student’s decided to remake Michael Jackson’s song They Don’t Care About Us…they even added the idea that We Don’t Care About Us. Over the course of 6 weeks they were given several tools to self-awareness and self-worth…let’s continue to spread this message it’s so important…http://youtu.be/w627FyT4zUM

  • VAnessa

    Incredible!!!! Reposting !

  • Daniela25

    I should have read this when things turned the wrong way for me. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  • Definately needed this TOday!!!! ♥