Being Vulnerable Is Sexy! - Daily Love with Mastin Kipp

Being Vulnerable Is Sexy!

Being vulnerable gets a bad wrap – especially within the context of dating and relationships.

Out of fear (of rejection, looking needy, or any of our other insecurities that come to the surface when embarking on an intimate relationship), we try to hide our vulnerabilities at all costs. We play games. We act tough. We uncomfortably teeter the line between being just sensitive enough to be attractive while remaining guarded enough to conceal the depth of our insecurities. We think this makes us look more stable. We think it makes us more attractive. We fear that our vulnerabilities will turn our partners off, that they’ll see our vulnerabilities as weaknesses and, in looking for the fittest mate (Darwin-style), run.

But recently I’ve come to realize how counterproductive this all is. I’ve come to see how desirable being vulnerable can be. I’ve come to realize that stripping down –whether we’re talking about peeling off clothes to reveal our naked bodies or knocking down walls to reveal our vulnerabilities – is sexy. Very sexy.

When a partner feels comfortable enough to reveal his or her fears, it’s deeper and sexier than when that same person reveals his or her body. The thrill of nudity isn’t just about the feeling of air on parts of your body usually concealed by clothes, but also about the idea of being stripped down. Literally. So why not strip down even further?

Sure, it can be scary. But it’s worth it. No, it’s more than that. It’s necessary.

Showing up in your relationships – with yourself, friends and partners – with unguarded openness, authenticity and vulnerability is deep. It’s real and honest and, yes, sexy.

When we try to protect ourselves by erecting walls around our hearts, we don’t merely protect ourselves from being hurt, we also prevent ourselves from feeling and giving love. I had been operating from that place for a while – I wanted to protect myself from being hurt more than I wanted to open up and let love in. I thought revealing my vulnerabilities was unattractive, unappealing, undesirable. It took seeing someone else show up so completely and authentically – vulnerabilities and all – for me to realize how sexy it is to be striped down so completely with someone else.

It’s within this vulnerability that we can be truly open to the people and experiences around us and, ultimately, can expand our capacity for love of self and others.

If you show your soul and your partner runs, better know sooner rather than later that he/she isn’t the person for you. And if your partner, seeing you open up, dives right in, tells (or more importantly shows) you that he/she isn’t running because you have vulnerabilities, strip down deeper. Strip down more. Strip down to your soul. Let your guard down in order to let love in. (Click to tweet)

What guards do you have up that are preventing you from showing up as your most stripped down (and sexiest) self?



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Alexis Wolfer is the founder and editor-in-chief of, an online magazine that promotes Real Beauty, as well as a well-known beauty and lifestyle expert as seen on the Today Show, E! and more. She is also the creator of the international and viral Makeup Free Mondays movement. Follow Alexis on Twitter or find her on Facebook and on