For most clients, my coaching is to make their lives more exciting.
But for some of you, the best coaching is: be MORE boring.
Are you someone who likes drama? Distraction? Are you (fishily) wrapped up in disputes such that your dreams appear justifiably on hold? Hmmm… smell the rat. Or are you distracted by fun things like work, play, friends, parties, gift giving, addictions? Either way, a return to simplicity might be just what this new year ordered.
A dear client, Malea, in wrapping up a five month stint of coaching, wrote this to us:
By focusing my attention on myself, it freed up time/energy to knock down some simple tasks in my environment. I stopped running away from my basic needs and responsibilities within my life. The process wasn’t easy at all. I had to go through an uncomfortable time, sitting still and being present to the desire to run to the “fun and exciting” activities in my life. I have eliminated the bad theory that “Routine is boring, unimaginative and dull. Staying spontaneous and impulsive is more exciting and leads to independence.” The more I followed through on my tasks at home (i.e. water the plants, walk, trim the roses, wash windows, cook dinners, plan my week, etc.) the more I felt nourished and taken care of by myself. I now feel extremely content, full of pride and pleasure while working through these basic needs. The more I focus on the critical basic needs, the more I feel love for myself. I am reminded of this shift in my life every time I look at a maidenhair fern in my house. It has been alive for 5+ months! It symbolizes my new ability to nourish myself and the important people (or living things) in my life.
This was a great reminder to me of the very simple things we often forsake. It shocks me sometimes when I meet a new group of clients and find out some of the things they forgo:
- regular sleep
- intake of real quantities of water
- regular exercise that increases heart rate
- regular exercise that increases flexibility and strength
- spiritual practice
- regular time with and loving actions toward close family and relationships
- balancing checkbook, keeping a budget, managing taxes
- if building a business, making contacts with people who can help
- if single, going on dates
- getting outside
- cleaning up
- making order in the house
I am begging you right now to consider ending your year with an eye towards being a little more boring. When we say “end your year with a bang” we don’t mean it has to be glitz, glamor and “force” based. We mean learning to come home to your true ideals and take actions consistent with them. This always feels great, I promise. But you really won’t know this until you let go of the ego’s desire for excitement and practice it.
Tell me, what of the above list will you take on in the new year, for real, as a lifestyle change? And please, come back after you’ve tested it for at least two weeks before you vote which lifestyle you like better. Remember: “boring” can be beautiful!!
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Laurie Gerber is President of Handel Group® Life Coaching, an international coaching company, which specializes in teaching individuals to take focused and powerful action in every area of their lives. You can connect with Laurie on Facebook at HG Life Coaching.