Can You Live in The Maybe?

Can you live in the maybe?

When my Dad asked my Mom to marry him, she didn’t say yes or no… She said maybe.

When I think about that, it makes me a little edgy. To think that the person I love said maybe, instead of an immediate yes, puts my ego into an uproar.

What did my Dad do? Did he demand that she answer him now and tell her that if she didn’t say yes, that she didn’t really love him? Nope.

My Dad said, “Cool, well I’ll give you ten years to think about it…” And that was that; he let it go.

Then, two weeks later my Mom said yes and they’ve been happily married for 32 years.

I credit this partly because of this major act of selfless trust that my Father placed into my Mom without any pressure. There is a lot to be learned from this act of trust.

I know if it had been me, I don’t know if I could have kept my cool. I would have wanted an immediate answer. I mean, my emotions and heart are on the line; you don’t mess with those! But instead of being demanding and selfish, my Dad let go and trusted the outcome.

How many of us can do that in life? Instead of demanding what we want and wanting it now, can we ask The Uni-verse for what we want, and then let go? Can we rest in the peace of the moment knowing we are provided for and that the perfect thing, which is probably better than what we asked for in the first place, will show up?

Do we really have the faith to live the maybe? Or better put, can we see that the delays of The Uni-verse are not Its denials? Can we let go and let things unfold naturally?

The Truth is that the perfect outcome will happen. My Mom told my Father yes; but if she had said no, he would have gotten the Truth and been able to move on to find a woman who loved him and could go the distance.

Ask for the emotional sobriety and peace of mind to be okay living the maybes. Get comfortable in the in-between. Know that delays are not denials and have fun in the moment, in the mean time, as it evolves into an ever better version of reality.

Do you have what it takes to live the maybe today? Head on over to the BLOG and leave a comment and let’s discuss!

Love from Maui,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

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  • Jordan

    Mastin- sometimes I feel like you have this uncanny ability to know exactly what I’m going through. My boyfriend of 5 years recently broke up with me a few weeks ago. Since then we met up once and had one of the most beautiful open mature conversations we had ever had. I expressed the things I had come to realize in our time apart and he expressed his feelings and explained he doesn’t feel ready to be in a relationship. I told him I didn’t want to force him but that perhaps this break up was a gift for us to be able to step back and create something new and better but that we’d have to start slow. He ended our conversation by saying “I think this was a really good conversation and I like a lot of what you had to say and I think we need some time to think about all this.” I said ok and went on my way. This person is the love of my life, the person I saw myself with and so I am clearly heartbroken. And so now i feel like I am living in the maybe. But is living in the maybe also a time to let go? That’s the confusing part… I guess I believe your heart and your intuition tells you the truth, but I’d rather live in the maybe and give him time rather just walking away because I’m not gettin my answer right now. What are your thoughts?

    • Liessssje

      Wow I am going through the exact same thing with my bf. We weren’t together for that long but he couldn’t handle the situation my personal life through me in. He still have feelings for me contacts me on a regular basis and everyone is saying giv it time. But by giving it time and living in the maybe can’t that lead to a complete loss? How can I show him things can change if we are living in the maybe? How to let go?

  • Jordan

    Mastin- sometimes I feel like you have this uncanny ability to know exactly what I’m going through. My boyfriend of 5 years recently broke up with me a few weeks ago. Since then we met up once and had one of the most beautiful open mature conversations we had ever had. I expressed the things I had come to realize in our time apart and he expressed his feelings and explained he doesn’t feel ready to be in a relationship. I told him I didn’t want to force him but that perhaps this break up was a gift for us to be able to step back and create something new and better but that we’d have to start slow. He ended our conversation by saying “I think this was a really good conversation and I like a lot of what you had to say and I think we need some time to think about all this.” I said ok and went on my way. This person is the love of my life, the person I saw myself with and so I am clearly heartbroken. And so now i feel like I am living in the maybe. But is living in the maybe also a time to let go? That’s the confusing part… I guess I believe your heart and your intuition tells you the truth, but I’d rather live in the maybe and give him time rather just walking away because I’m not gettin my answer right now. What are your thoughts?

    • Liessssje

      Wow I am going through the exact same thing with my bf. We weren’t together for that long but he couldn’t handle the situation my personal life through me in. He still have feelings for me contacts me on a regular basis and everyone is saying giv it time. But by giving it time and living in the maybe can’t that lead to a complete loss? How can I show him things can change if we are living in the maybe? How to let go?

  • Nat

    “Ask for the emotional sobriety and peace of mind to be okay living the
    maybes. Get comfortable in the in-between. Know that delays are not
    denials and have fun in the moment, in the mean time, as it evolves into
    an ever better version of reality.”
    All I can say is WOW. That was exactly what I needed today. I’m living in between, waiting for some huge events to happen in my life. Of course I want them to happen as fast as possible but I have to live in the maybe because I am working on them to happen and it is not that fast. Emotional sobriety is so hard for me but I know it is the only way… So, I am headed toward this way! I feel much happier and relaxed now. Thank you.

    • Awesome Nat! What makes you feel happier now?! :o)

  • Nat

    “Ask for the emotional sobriety and peace of mind to be okay living the
    maybes. Get comfortable in the in-between. Know that delays are not
    denials and have fun in the moment, in the mean time, as it evolves into
    an ever better version of reality.”
    All I can say is WOW. That was exactly what I needed today. I’m living in between, waiting for some huge events to happen in my life. Of course I want them to happen as fast as possible but I have to live in the maybe because I am working on them to happen and it is not that fast. Emotional sobriety is so hard for me but I know it is the only way… So, I am headed toward this way! I feel much happier and relaxed now. Thank you.

    • Awesome Nat! What makes you feel happier now?! :o)

  • Sarah

    Mastin – I felt like you were talking right to my maybe-state-of-mind / comment from yesterday!! Thank you – your words put a huge smile on my face first thing in the morning and I took a deep breath and said to myself: In-between-feeling, maybe-state: I EMBRACE YOU!

    Many thanks
    For your thoughts,
    Sarah

  • Sarah

    Mastin – I felt like you were talking right to my maybe-state-of-mind / comment from yesterday!! Thank you – your words put a huge smile on my face first thing in the morning and I took a deep breath and said to myself: In-between-feeling, maybe-state: I EMBRACE YOU!

    Many thanks
    For your thoughts,
    Sarah

  • Joanna Warwick

    Wow your dad sounds like a man who knew himself and could trust and let go for what was right for both
    your mum and him ~ sweet tale. Something to remember in that too, that in the maybe allows for the fact that it
    Needs to be right for both parties involved, by not giving time you saying you don’t matter and is the same dynamic when it comes to any relationship including the one with universe. Maybe is the shift from its all about me to its about me and you and time will help us find our way through …

  • Joanna Warwick

    Wow your dad sounds like a man who knew himself and could trust and let go for what was right for both
    your mum and him ~ sweet tale. Something to remember in that too, that in the maybe allows for the fact that it
    Needs to be right for both parties involved, by not giving time you saying you don’t matter and is the same dynamic when it comes to any relationship including the one with universe. Maybe is the shift from its all about me to its about me and you and time will help us find our way through …

  • Thanks for sharing that story and I’m so glad your mom said yes. :))) 32 years is a beautiful thing and you just don’t hear that enough now-a-days. 

    In regards to living in the maybe, I constantly remind myself to do that every day and I have to say I have become more comfortable with doing that.  In the past I use to believe that if things don’t hapen immediately or when I think it should then it’s not meant to be but that’s not case.  Instead, I have come to realize that you will more then likely receive better then what you ask for.  For me personally, living in the maybe/now is just fine. 🙂

  • Thanks for sharing that story and I’m so glad your mom said yes. :))) 32 years is a beautiful thing and you just don’t hear that enough now-a-days. 

    In regards to living in the maybe, I constantly remind myself to do that every day and I have to say I have become more comfortable with doing that.  In the past I use to believe that if things don’t hapen immediately or when I think it should then it’s not meant to be but that’s not case.  Instead, I have come to realize that you will more then likely receive better then what you ask for.  For me personally, living in the maybe/now is just fine. 🙂

  • Marina

    I love the story about your parents Mastin. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and finally am making a comment. All of your entries are really uplifiting and thought provoking, so thank you for that. As for living in the maybe, I struggle with that too, with many parts of my life uncertain right now, love, work, home, etc. But I have been able to make peace (on a good day :)) and move on with my life, trust that the very best outcome will come my way, in due time. Patience has been a struggle of mine too, like you.

    Thanks for your blog,
    Marina

  • Marina

    I love the story about your parents Mastin. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and finally am making a comment. All of your entries are really uplifiting and thought provoking, so thank you for that. As for living in the maybe, I struggle with that too, with many parts of my life uncertain right now, love, work, home, etc. But I have been able to make peace (on a good day :)) and move on with my life, trust that the very best outcome will come my way, in due time. Patience has been a struggle of mine too, like you.

    Thanks for your blog,
    Marina

  • Erincha28

    I’ve recently become involved with someone similar..  no pressure, he takes nothing personally and I have to say..  it’s wonderful and has made my level of trust and comfort so much greater than with anyone else I’ve ever met. 

    But it is hard at times to just trust the outcome. 

    nyway.. great blog you have here.  And Love from Maui!  That rocks..  we were on the islands in July,, such a great place in this world.

  • Erincha28

    I’ve recently become involved with someone similar..  no pressure, he takes nothing personally and I have to say..  it’s wonderful and has made my level of trust and comfort so much greater than with anyone else I’ve ever met. 

    But it is hard at times to just trust the outcome. 

    nyway.. great blog you have here.  And Love from Maui!  That rocks..  we were on the islands in July,, such a great place in this world.

  • Patti

    This post is exactly what I have been needed to hear AND do! I have been struggling over the past few years with employment. Every job I had either the company folded or they closed offices or it was a contract to hire position that decided they wanted to hire someone else. It get very depressing when this keeps happening. Its been 4 employers in the last 3 years. My first reaction is to think that something is wrong with me and ask why is this happening to me? I am currently in a contract position where I was not hired and am applying to so many jobs while waiting for this assignment to end. I am totally living in the “in-between”… worried about what will happen.

    I need to do just what you say and ask the Uni-verse for what I want and “let it go and rest in the peace of the moment knowing we are provided for and that the perfect thing, which is probably better than what we asked for in the first place, will show up”

    Thank you Mastin!!

  • Patti

    This post is exactly what I have been needed to hear AND do! I have been struggling over the past few years with employment. Every job I had either the company folded or they closed offices or it was a contract to hire position that decided they wanted to hire someone else. It get very depressing when this keeps happening. Its been 4 employers in the last 3 years. My first reaction is to think that something is wrong with me and ask why is this happening to me? I am currently in a contract position where I was not hired and am applying to so many jobs while waiting for this assignment to end. I am totally living in the “in-between”… worried about what will happen.

    I need to do just what you say and ask the Uni-verse for what I want and “let it go and rest in the peace of the moment knowing we are provided for and that the perfect thing, which is probably better than what we asked for in the first place, will show up”

    Thank you Mastin!!

  • AZ

    My spouse and I are currently taking some risks to align our lives so that we can parent our children in the best way we see fit. We have a 2.75 year old daughter and a 10 week old son and really want to give them a well rounded home life. For us, part of this means limiting the amount of time they are in daycare and providing them with as much hands-on parenting from the two of us. With my first child, my employer had allowed me to work at home one day a week and my husband took another day during the week so our daughter only spent three days in daycare. While I’ve been on maternity leave with my son, my employer changed their policy and will no longer allow staff to telecommute, which has forced the issue of returning to work on a part-time basis (this was something I was considering anyway, but was afraid to take the leap).  We have been very dependent on my full-time income and benefits to make ends meet, but I feel strongly that children are not served to spend 40 hrs a week in daycare.

    Initially, I was confident that things would work out. However, as I get closer to my return to the office (next week) a couple of unexpected expenses have come up that cause me to worry that we will not be able to make it financially. So, I find myself having gone from a place of  trusting the process to a place of fear in a matter of days…and what I am aware of in this moment is the amount of negativity this fear is generating in me. It is interesting to really feel the difference between the expansive power of trusting the Universe and the limiting power of fear. So, I’m praying today that my faith in the process will be restored and we will keep moving forward with creating the life we see for our family despite the immediate obstacles. Peace and blessings to you!

    • Eshjam

      You will never, ever regret the time you spend with your children.  If you have a choice, spend the time with them (at least until they are in school full-time)….The Universe will test your conviction by having unexpected expenses come up but when do unexpected expenses happen?  Unexpectedly!  Daycare is so expensive.  It seems easier to downsize a little for a short period of time and be with your children.

  • AZ

    My spouse and I are currently taking some risks to align our lives so that we can parent our children in the best way we see fit. We have a 2.75 year old daughter and a 10 week old son and really want to give them a well rounded home life. For us, part of this means limiting the amount of time they are in daycare and providing them with as much hands-on parenting from the two of us. With my first child, my employer had allowed me to work at home one day a week and my husband took another day during the week so our daughter only spent three days in daycare. While I’ve been on maternity leave with my son, my employer changed their policy and will no longer allow staff to telecommute, which has forced the issue of returning to work on a part-time basis (this was something I was considering anyway, but was afraid to take the leap).  We have been very dependent on my full-time income and benefits to make ends meet, but I feel strongly that children are not served to spend 40 hrs a week in daycare.

    Initially, I was confident that things would work out. However, as I get closer to my return to the office (next week) a couple of unexpected expenses have come up that cause me to worry that we will not be able to make it financially. So, I find myself having gone from a place of  trusting the process to a place of fear in a matter of days…and what I am aware of in this moment is the amount of negativity this fear is generating in me. It is interesting to really feel the difference between the expansive power of trusting the Universe and the limiting power of fear. So, I’m praying today that my faith in the process will be restored and we will keep moving forward with creating the life we see for our family despite the immediate obstacles. Peace and blessings to you!

    • Eshjam

      You will never, ever regret the time you spend with your children.  If you have a choice, spend the time with them (at least until they are in school full-time)….The Universe will test your conviction by having unexpected expenses come up but when do unexpected expenses happen?  Unexpectedly!  Daycare is so expensive.  It seems easier to downsize a little for a short period of time and be with your children.

  • Jan

    First time writing on this blog! Mastin I have been reading your blog for about 2 months now. 
    EVERYDAY somehting makes me smile! Thank you. This is the one that got me most. I am an “instant gratification” girl!! Living in between is an enormous task. I too Patti am waiting on employment. And when I am waiting on something I seem to focus on that one particular “thing” and can’t move forward with anything else. What a waste. I  need to let it go. Embrace the maybe! 
    Thank you!

  • Jan

    First time writing on this blog! Mastin I have been reading your blog for about 2 months now. 
    EVERYDAY somehting makes me smile! Thank you. This is the one that got me most. I am an “instant gratification” girl!! Living in between is an enormous task. I too Patti am waiting on employment. And when I am waiting on something I seem to focus on that one particular “thing” and can’t move forward with anything else. What a waste. I  need to let it go. Embrace the maybe! 
    Thank you!

  • Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    I have been creating addiction around Enlightenment. I know that it exists because of Cinnamon Lofton, author of “Here, Now.”  She writes, “If you believe you’re “only human,” and are not willing to budge…you’re thumbing your nose at enlightenment. Cinnamon reminds me, “THERE ARE NO GOOD ADDICTIONS” even to Enlightenment.  Living in the  “maybe” is what I need to relax into. Your dad is a rock star and obviously loved himself enough.  Thanks again and again Mastin.  Each blog has been resonating with my life daily.  I am using your quotes and my latest is about giving up make-up as I continue to obliterate my EGO. I have no idea if we will ever meet or if you will read my blog or if you will get your ass up here to the Central Coast and meet Cinnamon. I will let go and live in the maybe.  Man, that feels good!  butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/ 

  • Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    I have been creating addiction around Enlightenment. I know that it exists because of Cinnamon Lofton, author of “Here, Now.”  She writes, “If you believe you’re “only human,” and are not willing to budge…you’re thumbing your nose at enlightenment. Cinnamon reminds me, “THERE ARE NO GOOD ADDICTIONS” even to Enlightenment.  Living in the  “maybe” is what I need to relax into. Your dad is a rock star and obviously loved himself enough.  Thanks again and again Mastin.  Each blog has been resonating with my life daily.  I am using your quotes and my latest is about giving up make-up as I continue to obliterate my EGO. I have no idea if we will ever meet or if you will read my blog or if you will get your ass up here to the Central Coast and meet Cinnamon. I will let go and live in the maybe.  Man, that feels good!  butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/ 

  • Damascus Girl

    This was a lovely post. Your parents’ story is heartwarming.

    But your dad waited a few days.

    There are some of us who have been living with the “maybe” for 10, 15 years, hoping things will change in our lives, trying to effect change and joy in our lives. It hurts like anything to say this, but sometimes we want to see something as a “maybe” when in fact it’s a “no”.

    To everyone whose “maybe” is a brief period, I wish you all the best in achieving your dreams and hopes for the future.

  • Damascus Girl

    This was a lovely post. Your parents’ story is heartwarming.

    But your dad waited a few days.

    There are some of us who have been living with the “maybe” for 10, 15 years, hoping things will change in our lives, trying to effect change and joy in our lives. It hurts like anything to say this, but sometimes we want to see something as a “maybe” when in fact it’s a “no”.

    To everyone whose “maybe” is a brief period, I wish you all the best in achieving your dreams and hopes for the future.

  • Tjohnso89

    Thank you I needed this today. I have been trying to believe in what I ask for and let go and know it is done, however, after a while I begin to question and doubt. So I’m working on living in the maybe right now. Today’s lesson reinforces for me to let go and trust it will be done.

  • Tjohnso89

    Thank you I needed this today. I have been trying to believe in what I ask for and let go and know it is done, however, after a while I begin to question and doubt. So I’m working on living in the maybe right now. Today’s lesson reinforces for me to let go and trust it will be done.

  • Manal

    At the risk of sounding like most of the comments below, I am so in need of hearing this today. Living in the maybe and trusting God is what I am trying to do these days and it’s not easy!!!! God knows I’m searching for truth and His way and this really helped. So thank you! This is such a blessing. 

  • Manal

    At the risk of sounding like most of the comments below, I am so in need of hearing this today. Living in the maybe and trusting God is what I am trying to do these days and it’s not easy!!!! God knows I’m searching for truth and His way and this really helped. So thank you! This is such a blessing. 

  • Embrace the maybe which is full of exciting unknown possibilities!
     

  • Embrace the maybe which is full of exciting unknown possibilities!
     

  • Dawncrawford61

    Well said… though so many of us struggle to listen to that and be in the now…..maybe can be so hard as i want the results yestarday…. I beleive God, the universe is trying to teach me patients,,,,,reading this today is such a reminder of what i need to do ,, i need to accept the maybe and continue with my day as i know there is something special awaiting me if only i would let go and just be..

  • Dawncrawford61

    Well said… though so many of us struggle to listen to that and be in the now…..maybe can be so hard as i want the results yestarday…. I beleive God, the universe is trying to teach me patients,,,,,reading this today is such a reminder of what i need to do ,, i need to accept the maybe and continue with my day as i know there is something special awaiting me if only i would let go and just be..

  • Love this story Mastin. In addition to the release that your dad displayed – which is so commendable! – I like to think that he trusted in divine timing. And bless your mom for being so strong to not just say yes to make him (and others) happy. No wonder you’re such a straight shooter!

  • Love this story Mastin. In addition to the release that your dad displayed – which is so commendable! – I like to think that he trusted in divine timing. And bless your mom for being so strong to not just say yes to make him (and others) happy. No wonder you’re such a straight shooter!

  • Thank you. I really resonated with this post. I have been feeling emotionally scared about being in a maybe about a romantic frienship/relationship with one of my best friends and needed to know to just breath and know that we love each other and things come with time. 

  • Thank you. I really resonated with this post. I have been feeling emotionally scared about being in a maybe about a romantic frienship/relationship with one of my best friends and needed to know to just breath and know that we love each other and things come with time. 

  • Jeckahead

    Wow. i needed this. it takes guts to live there. i trust. 

  • Jeckahead

    Wow. i needed this. it takes guts to live there. i trust. 

  • Sarita

    or maybe your Dad’s ego was so big he knew she couldn’t refuse him.

  • Sarita

    or maybe your Dad’s ego was so big he knew she couldn’t refuse him.

  • Ursweetplace

    Beautiful post that really unequivocally touched me. Honest to goodness, I was just discussing this in between phase I’m going through with my mom. It is a very uncomfortable place to be. Like most, I want everything yesterday. I never looked at it from the perspective of embracing the possibilities of living the maybe until it “evolves into an ever better version of reality.” Love it and thank you!

  • Ursweetplace

    Beautiful post that really unequivocally touched me. Honest to goodness, I was just discussing this in between phase I’m going through with my mom. It is a very uncomfortable place to be. Like most, I want everything yesterday. I never looked at it from the perspective of embracing the possibilities of living the maybe until it “evolves into an ever better version of reality.” Love it and thank you!

  • Monica

    Thank you , Mastin for your great insights! Much gratitude and love! I think what is important to emphasize is that letting go of the outcome and just living in the maybe applies to circumstances and situations where you are active , happy and content with who you are and do not need the other person to fulfill you . If you come from a place of needing this person to feel whole and complete than you will not be able to be in the maybe because you have not mastered the relationship with yourself first.
    Beautiful story – your father was emotionally available and in his core believes he knew he can let go and move on to a happy life because he was already content with his life and himself. Your mom was the added spark that made the light even brighter and shiner but his light was already shining within him with love.He did not need her light to shine – he was already shining with his light.

    Love and Light

  • Monica

    Thank you , Mastin for your great insights! Much gratitude and love! I think what is important to emphasize is that letting go of the outcome and just living in the maybe applies to circumstances and situations where you are active , happy and content with who you are and do not need the other person to fulfill you . If you come from a place of needing this person to feel whole and complete than you will not be able to be in the maybe because you have not mastered the relationship with yourself first.
    Beautiful story – your father was emotionally available and in his core believes he knew he can let go and move on to a happy life because he was already content with his life and himself. Your mom was the added spark that made the light even brighter and shiner but his light was already shining within him with love.He did not need her light to shine – he was already shining with his light.

    Love and Light

  • Christina

    As always – thank you Mastin for giving me just what I need to hear in the moment. I just had my boyfriend end our relationship because I wasn’t fully able to commit to the future. I thought I was reassuring with my love but it wasn’t enough for him. If only he had listened when I said, “I’m here now and not going anywhere, can’t we keep moving towards that?” if only he had realized “delays are not denials.”

    Thank you xx

  • Christina

    As always – thank you Mastin for giving me just what I need to hear in the moment. I just had my boyfriend end our relationship because I wasn’t fully able to commit to the future. I thought I was reassuring with my love but it wasn’t enough for him. If only he had listened when I said, “I’m here now and not going anywhere, can’t we keep moving towards that?” if only he had realized “delays are not denials.”

    Thank you xx

  • Pameladodson

    This is a hard one and a lesson that i constantly remind myself.
    Letting go and trusting the Universe is easy my reaction to
    The outcome is the killer.

  • Pameladodson

    This is a hard one and a lesson that i constantly remind myself.
    Letting go and trusting the Universe is easy my reaction to
    The outcome is the killer.

  • Alison

    How is that your words are always in perfect timing to what I need to hear? Thank you for reminding me to trust my journey and relax. What will be will be.

  • disqus_AeKbGjrYhx

    I feel like I’m going to sound silly and ridiculous, but I’d love to look back on this comment years from now and see what happened. I feel like God has told me multiple times that this guy is “the one.” I don’t even like using that term because it sounds so cliché but it’s what I feel; he’s going to be something. I have never in my life been boy crazy, ev-er so take my words for truth because this is something that’s been sticking with me.. I say all of this because after months of him staring at me, I asked him via text if he’d like to go for coffee one day and he did not respond. At first I was hurt, angry, etc. and part of me still is but I also realized that him not responding is something I did in the past to other guys so not only am I getting back what I put out but this situation made me RE-realize who I am and what I will and will not put up with. His silence isn’t necessarily a maybe, I’m logically reading it more as a no, which is fine, but after I tell him to eff off and take his narcissistic head out of his behind (L O L I plan on doing it nicely and pleasantly), we’ll see how things work out.