I know, “hold space” sounds like one of those weird “new age”, “self-help” terms that don’t really mean anything. You know what – you’re right. And I want to change that, right now.
To me, “holding space” means being able to sit in a space and mindset of Loving compassion and non-judgment as you and those around you process their lives. This means, instead of being pulled in every direction by the emotional whims of those you Love, you just detach and watch it unfold like a movie you’re watching instead of taking everything “they” do personally, thus affecting your state of mind and well-being.
If you live at the whim of what other people are thinking and feeling, you are like a little ship lost in a storm at sea. You can’t control anything; you are at the whim of the tide, the wind and all the elements outside of yourself.
But, that is not what we are. We are not small ships. We are huge, if we choose to be. We are so big, that we don’t have to be affected by the whims of other people’s emotions – OR OUR OWN!
That’s right. We can watch our emotions come and go, too. The trick is to not apply a meaning or a judgment to the emotions of others, but rather, observe them.
This way, as we are changing, growing, opening, fearing, whatever we and those around us may be going through, we are no longer defined by it. Just like we are not defined by the movies we watch, we watch them with joy because we know it’s just a movie. I’m asking you to do this for your own emotions and for the emotions of others.
Instead of being all caught up in how other people are acting, feeling and being, and also believing that your emotions are permanent, just detach and watch them.
This is what holding space means. It means not reacting with fear or haste – but waiting, watching and then RESPONDING with Love and awareness. This is a huge step you can take towards loving yourself as well as loving others. You are now free to express yourself. Others are free to express themselves without being judged.
This is how we grow and Love together, by stepping out of judgment and reaction and holding space. So the next time you read or hear “hold space” just know it means to watch the comings and goings of life without being attached to them. See life as a movie and don’t take it personally. Give yourself and those around you the freedom to process with you out loud without judgment.
The world would be a massively different place if we could all give ourselves and others the respect to do this. This change starts with you. How can you hold space for yourself and those in your life? Let me know: [email protected]
Love & space,
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here. Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.