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Change Your Language – Change Your Experience Of Living!

KathleenChelquist12813“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

– Marianne Williamson

Many of us here in The Daily Love Community have heard Williamson’s popular quote; and yet, are still grasping for any tool to help us be our BIG selves. We are all meant to shine, as children do, is very true, indeed. But… HOW? Where do we begin? As you know, there are many tools and paths to peace, but there is one in particular way that has helped me, immeasurably.

What is it?

The way I speak with myself and others.

We have become so accustomed to “playing small” because we do not want to seem like a know-it-all; or even worse, an egocentric narcissist. So, we finish our sentences with parenthetical sayings… “like you know?” Just so other people will agree and validate us. Why? Because we don’t think we are enough to declare something as what is. But, wait a second… we do know. You know what I’m saying? 

“The fear of seeming arrogant keeps most people from expressing what they know with certainty. Hence, the watered-down language of ‘kind of, ‘sort of,’ ‘maybe’ that seems to protect the ego from rejection. They only weaken every statement you make. I sort of love you? I kind of need a heart transplant?!  Speaking and living the truth takes humility because it requires risking people’s opinions. People will have their opinions no matter what you say or do.  

 The Good Opinion Of People= G.O.O.P.

 Experience your own humility.

Give up the GOOP.

 Live big and bright and sure.”

 – Cinnamon Lofton

This brings me to other commonly used words that keeps us from being  powerful beyond measure: I believe, I think, I feel, and I am a… (you fill in the blank).

Beliefs, feelings, and what we think… change. They are from our chattering programmed mind. What we know, we can stand on. We will have no need to defend our hearts with weapons and armor. The truth never changes.

Which sentence is more powerful?

I know love works.

OR

I believe, think, or feel that love works.

How about the “I am a…” phrase? First, you are spirit having a human experience. You are a “mere player on the stage of life.” I don’t believe this, I know this.

Which sentence leaves room for possibility, change, and does not label or box in the person?

I am a dental hygienist.

Or…

I am in the dental hygiene profession.

Now, are you ready for ANOTHER widely used word that keeps us from claiming our light? The word is… “happened.”

Which sentence do you know aligns with Marianne Williamson’s quote?

Life happened, and I got cancer.

OR

I created an extraordinary experience where I learned that I can create happiness in spite of it all. Where I learned to claim my peace in spite of the result. Where cancer taught me to surrender completely.

If we would only choose to see with the eyes of our heart – not of our mind, we would remember that all is well, always.

For those of you whose minds are screaming, “I did not create this situation!” I humbly offer you the view that you create your experiential reaction to the challenge that life brings you. I created my experience of eye cancer four times. You are a victim of nothing. Unless, you choose to be. You are not powerless; you are powerful. We all enter this world to have a human experience full of highs and lows so that we can remember that Love is the ONLY truth. How could we know darkness without light? We are the embodiment of Love perfection. Everything that is occurring in existence… is here FOR spiritual growth – not against. And if it is HERE, beloved, YOU can choose to manage it.

The choice is ours. Are we going to thrive, go with what we know, and dare to courageously speak it? Or, are we going to play small and live an existence of survival, waiting for Heaven to save us from the unfairness of humanity? Heaven is found within. Let it surface and you will create peace.

As the comedian, Taylor Mali, so eloquently states, “It is not enough these days to simply question authority, you’ve got to speak with it, too.”

With All My Heart,

Kathleen

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Kathleen Chelquist is an inspirational blogger. Engage with Kathleen on her website, her Facebook and follow her on Twitter.

  • yesi.p

    WOW! I know love works, I know we are one heart and we are Oneness…Yes, my mind likes to travel into the I think, I feel, I am…to keep finding my purpose in life but it actually is to get distracted with what is not. Instead of seen what is, is all there is and I have a choice if I co-exist with god or I play the game of guilt, shame, resentment, meaning victim-hood. Thank you! SO MUCH for speaking out, it gives me courage to speak my heart too, I want to express and expand that I know love works, and through a breath at a time and centering my heart from my thinking, feeling, believing, of I am…My heart will always go home to knowing love works. GOOP gets me trap and when I take a breath at a time my heart is in control in freedom.

    Thank you for showing up to love and putting your heart in words.
    love you from my heart to yours and from your heart to mine as ONE!!!

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      THANK YOU so much. Thank you for recognizing your heart by seeing mine. I am so appreciative for all your comments and “likes,” Yessi! You have helped me help myself when I have wanted to shrink and fold. I will ALWAYS be grateful for you. Loving you, Kathleen

    • The Daily Love

      Yesi.p, thank you for reading! We are so happy that you’ve found the courage to speak your truth!!
      -Team TDL

  • Millicent

    Wow! I am in tears. I have shrank myself so that others won’t feel intimidated as long as I can remember. Even writing this feels strange. You started with my favorites poem. This spoke to me in a way that was very powerful. Thank You!

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      Thanks, Millicent. I used to think of myself as a leader for years, when really..I went along to get along. My ego just wanted me to ‘think’ I was being powerful. What a web of denial. The key is to get excited about your discovery because then you can change it. After all, this IS the reason we are here. Let’s return to love TOGETHER, shall we? Love, Kathleen

    • The Daily Love

      So happy to hear that you have been touched, Millicent! Hoping that you feel empowered to move forward in life with all your magnificence!!
      -Team TDL

  • Irena

    Thank you Kathleen, you send a very powerful message! Great reminding.
    Its good to hear your voice again – I miss your daily commentaries:)

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      Hi Irena, How nice of you to remember. Well, I am now writing everyday on my FB page called, “Are You HERE Kathleen, It’s Me, God.” I would love for you to check it out. Much love to you, Kathleen

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for reading, Irena!!! Sending LOVE!
      -Team TDL

  • Talya Price

    How interesting that I am reading this today. I was thinking about the same thing. I have been asking myself many questions, since ringing in 2014. Why am I still single, Why am I still living in Poland, why am I not where I want to be in my career? I have to change the way I say things to myself. It’s all belief system, what we say to ourselves we believe then it becomes our reality. I have to change my language I use with myself. Thank you for reminding me about this Kathleen.

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      Thank you for reading this and commenting, Talya! Our first step, is recognizing that what we have been doing is NOT working. It is then, we will choose to change it-or not. If I am unwilling, I sit with my lack of surrender and observe rather than judge it. Most often, I then choose to surrender. Guilt and shame are cop-outs and will keep us stuck on the hamster wheel of fear. Join the circle of Love and be free. Love to you, Kathleen

    • The Daily Love

      Yes, Talya! The language we use with ourselves plays such a huge role in our lives!! Thank you for reading and commenting!
      -Team TDL

  • Laune

    Wow! So many good points!! Thank you for opening our eyes to the hypnotizing spells we’ve been learning to speak.

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      Thanks Laune for putting it so eloquently. XO

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Laune!
      -Team TDL

  • hearthippiesoulgypsy.com

    Great Post Sister!!! It is timely, as always.
    This is a topic that I confuse myself with. (often) I find myself cautious of my own language when talking to others because I know my experiences are different than their experiences, my beliefs are different and my feelings are different. Yes, those differences, beliefs and feelings change. But in that very “here and now” moment. That is what is what I know to be truth for myself. So why not use them? If it is true for me it may not always be true for them. When I talk with others I only share my own experiences, beliefs, etc… There are many pathways to peace. There are MANY pathways to peace. (that was not a typo) What works for one, may not work for another. This is where I feel, I believe and I think come in.. And then there are the things that I know and that “I know” is used where I am sure.* This is where I become confused* Walk me through this. I confuse myself with this all the time. Example, I know that love works. I know that I am. I know that you have had cancer but cancer did not have you. Cancer was something that you experienced to bring you to your ultimate peace and happiness. We didn’t all experience cancer. And when you share that, not all of the people have experienced that path so they don’t know. Sharing your experiences with your language is your way. My own experiences have lead me to knowing what it is that ‘I know’ for me. I know that faith works if I choose it. Because I have not chose faith many times in the past and have suffered because of it. So I know that faith works if I chose it. It is a different language but we all understand and interrupt it differently. ‘Take what you like and leave the rest’ comes to mind. There are different languages in different programs and they all really lead to the same thing. Love. What are your thoughts on this? What do you ‘know’ that can help me to understand. Love to you, monica

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      What I ‘know’ is that “Love is the ONLY truth.” Theories, dogmas, and paths are not more important than choosing love. When you are choosing love, you will create peace. There is no my truth, your truth, their truth…there is simply THE truth. When we choose it, we know it because it is a solid foundation on which to stand. And, there will be NO doubt because doubt is of the mind, and the mind is the author of confusion. Big love back, Mon! Kath

      • Kathleen Chelquist

        PS…You cannot say “I am powerless and I am loving” at the same breath because Love is the greatest power on earth. XO

        • http://hearthippiesoulgypsy.com/ hearthippiesoulgypsy.com

          Have I gone to my head (programming) and abandoned my soul (spirit) therefore confusing the language of love with the ego mind and chatter? I can say I am powerless over people, places and things. But I can still love, share love and be love while powerless over other peoples lives and their choices. So perhaps I can say, I am powerless over others but I can love them no matter what.

          • http://hearthippiesoulgypsy.com/ hearthippiesoulgypsy.com

            PS. “the mind is the author of confusion” that is poetic!! Do you mind if I use that?

          • Kathleen Chelquist

            Love is the most powerful force and can do many things. When one recognizes their own heart in yours, they can choose to change their programming and follow their heart-or not. Yes, I am powerless when I speak of my ego…and when I speak from my soul…that is another story. I choose to speak from my soul more often these days and receive its gift as I offer it to others. The journey is distinguishing which one we are choosing (heart or mind). Again, there will be no doubt when we choose the powerful force of Love. And yes, it is up to the other person to recognize and claim its’ power-or not. When I focus on the powerless ego, I buy into it and think it is real. I then, speak with less conviction and tend to not want “to deal” with other peoples challenges (shying away in fear that I will be misunderstood ). When I choose Love, I plant a mustard seed with all my heart for the person to receive or not…AND, I am free either way. What they do with what I know, is none of my business. The challenge has been to ONLY offer what I know…NOT think or believe (I will distinguish this with the person whom I am speaking). I have found that the language we use is very important and has helped me experience my life in a whole new way that works. Love you, Mon

    • The Daily Love

      WOW, hearthippiesouldgyposy! Thank you for commenting! This really helps to get the gears turning in the brain!! Wonderful share!
      -Team TDL

  • Motivated90210

    Mind Blown. Thank you for sharing your philosophy. Absolutely speechless. Thank you for this.

    • Kathleen Chelquist

      Thank you. I like to blow the mind, especially mine. The heart speaks the truth. Love, Kathleen

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you, Motivated90210, for reading! glad that you have enjoyed!!
      -Team TDL

  • PT Helori Grahasarana