So, what does putting it “out there” mean, anyway? It means drawing on your courage and living a life of vulnerability. I have a list all the way to the north pole on how often I have been deceived and trampled on, asking Santa to please, please, please give me what I want for Christmas and everyday thereafter. No matter how frequently I have seen fear in my fellow awakening being’s eyes, I look at the possibility (not probability) that this could be the moment that they SEE the world differently. Where they forgive and see their enemies as angels in disguise and know that EVERYTHING is here FOR them-not against. Where they live a life of service because it is the ONLY way to experience the power of the heart and receive its glory.
I live for the moments when I watch someone turn from being stoic and shut down to light and open. Priceless. All the money in a lifetime does not compare to the happiness I create when I connect to the light in another’s eyes. Just yesterday, I watched a woman who created a “feeling” of being broken because her experience was of being betrayed. Within thirty minutes, she chose to take full responsibility and saw that she was the one who had betrayed herself for her own addictive demand that her friend meet her models.
“Trust is a gift you give. It is not earned or deserved.”
When we were children, we trusted. And then…BAM! We learned very quickly that this worldly world was something we needed to survive (that is if we were lucky enough to escape our victimhood). “Thriving” was not a word that was used very often, and anyone who “thought” that way was living in a pollyanna world of zuzu’s flower petal’s from the classic Christmas movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life.”
I allowed myself to become jaded for more than a few years, and my life went down hill from there. Sure, I became more of a realist and “felt” smarter; I now know the price was too high. I am no longer willing to live THAT life of boundaries and cement walls. And, I am no longer willing to be naive.
So, how do we do it? How do we trust Love?
We breathe into the truth that “trust” is the biggest gift we can give to OURSELVES and GO FOR IT. When we give this gift to ourselves, we give it to others. The key to the kingdom is to release our addiction to it being received.
No one can betray us without our permission. (Click to tweet) Sure, they can “try,” but when we allow the Holy Spirit of Love to nest on every vein of our being…we do NOT take offense. This I now know to be true by experience.
We see the potential and don’t rely on it.
We distinguish the doer from the deed.
I have been she who has often identified with the soul of a person before their ego. I liked that about me, even when I have been completely misunderstood. I would confuse myself when the ego would scream in front of my face, and I “blinded” myself from looking at what was before me. Too painful to see, and I WANTED it to NOT be true. Then one day, I realized it was all a part of the earth school game. This was when I realized I needed to SEE my own ego first and begin the process of forgiving myself and making friends with what I deemed as “bad” and “ugly.”
Now, that I am willing to release my addictions to my ego’s neediness and relentless ways, I am free to be of service. Who knew? Not I. I “hated” being a candy striper when I was in Jr. High, and really had no desire to feed food to the poor. Yeah, I said it. I was more of the “What can the world do for me?” kind of person. I “seemed” to be giving A LOT; and subconsciously, it was really to get something in return.
What I wanted more than anything was to be loved.
I had forgotten the main ingredient to achieve this fulfillment…ME. It was my job to receive God’s grace and create love for myself. Like most people in this world, I “thought” I needed it from others: my parents, my partner, my child, my friends, my co-workers, my dog. I was worshipping the creation more than the Creator, and THAT was the missing link. THAT was why I was still not free.
At the age of forty-four, I am trusting Love. And I am committed to continuing to rise to the occasion.
With all my heart,