Cut Yourself Some Slack

Carmen-MarshallWe’re entirely too hard on ourselves. Sure, there are some things that we should actually be tougher on ourselves about (don’t eat that cheesecake if you know you’re going to feel miserable in the morning. Speak your truth. If you’re tired all the time, stop going to bed so late and clean up your diet. Anything you’re always complaining about, change. Just to name a few :)).

But I think there are far more things that we should actually cut ourselves some slack on and realize we’ve come a long ways and are doing REALLY well at.

And specifically around things that we WANT to be really good at. The things we DREAM about being great at, but question whether we will ever be.

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Case in point. I want to be really good at Brazilian Zouk. If you haven’t seen Brazilian Zouk, watch this even 30 seconds of this video. In my opinion, it’s the most beautiful, connective and soulful partner dance that I have ever seen or experienced. I’m in LOVE with this dance – it calls to my spirit on every level.

However, I currently suck.

Or at least I FEEL like I suck.  Even though I’ve taught NIA and teach Zumba, know I’m a great dance teacher and absolutely love dancing, Zouk hasn’t come as naturally to me. Not. In. The. Slightest.

I’ll have a private lesson or social dance with our Miami Zouk group on Monday night and sometimes I feel like, WOW, I’m getting this! And then the next two times I feel like I’ve backslid into the land of the uncool white girl who can’t dance and shouldn’t even be trying.

Today though, I found a video that one of my dance teachers took of me 6 weeks ago. Nyx videos our lesson every time we dance… and I cringe every time I watch them after he leaves, critiquing myself.

But you know what?  When I saw the video from 6 weeks ago, I was so MUCH more uncoordinated – ha! My hips didn’t move at all, I looked rigid, SCARED and oh so tense!

The CURRENT video (while I still don’t look that great) shows my hips moving, me laughing and having fun and relaxing more into my body. And there are some moves that I even look completely natural in (granted, amidst the moves that I still look like a deconstructed Zouker :)).

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When I saw that video, I realized HOW FAR I HAD COME in 6 weeks. Which made me realize how much further I will be in 6 weeks. And then 6 months. Then in a year. I will probably actually be really good.

And then in two years I will be teaching Brazilian Zouk and helping others realize that they are doing GREAT, that they have come such a long ways and they are going to be an amazing Zouk dancer if they just keep going after their dream.

So what about YOU?

  • What do you want to be really good at?
  • What do fear you might never get “good enough” at, that is stopping you from even trying?
  • Who are you comparing yourself to, that is stopping you?
  • Have you quit something recently that you really wish you could do, just because it doesn’t come naturally to you and is hard to learn?

What do you want to be really good at… that you LOVE… that is a DREAM for you?

Never, ever give up on a dream. That’s your heart, soul, intuition and every part of you, speaking to you.

You can do and be anything that you really want to be – it just takes consistent effort over time. Most people don’t realize that that one AMAZING song took MONTHS to produce. That that transformational speaker took years to grow into her speaking ability. That that successful writer/blogger/youtuber produced great content every week, for two years before she even had a smidgen of a following.

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Remind yourself that the expert in anything was also once a beginner, and that you’ll speed up the process by relaxing, breathing and being your own best supporter.

And if it’s something that you LOVE… you’ve got time to master it.

You’ve got your whole life.

But don’t wait.

Start now.


Do you have a similar story? In your business? In your life? Share below in the comments – I would love to hear 🙂

Be Happy…Be Vibrant…


Carmen xo


p.s. Join Carmen for her Create A Life You Love Retreat in Bali, May 2014. Please click here to learn more about it!

A true entrepreneur, lifestyle master and international wellness coach, Carmen is the founder of Create A Life You Love™ and the SexyFit™ Nutrition Challenge.  Carmen also works in partnership with the Handel Group Life Coaching and writes for Glam Today Magazine as their Business and Lifestyle Expert. Visit her websiteFacebook, and Twitter for more information.

  • Kat

    So great to remember this. I’ve recently started up my amateur acting career and I’m realizing how much I love it. But…I’m not where I want to be. My teacher called my acting ‘slick’ which wasn’t what I was going for. But I’ve re-energized myself to start letting go more and just allowing my natural acting instincts to come through. I’m making progress, it’s slow, but I can feel it week by week. Thanks for this article!

    • The Daily Love

      We’re so excited for you, Kat! Thank you for sharing! -Team TDL

      • Thanks so much for sharing this Kat. More people need to hear stories like this as it helps us all to keep going towards what we love and being willing to feel uncomfortable on our way to feeling easeful, natural and in our element. LOVE. Carmen 🙂

  • Dani Dane

    Thanks so much for this article. I started crossfit about a month ago and I’ve never worked out before. Sometimes, I feel so dumb and weak walking in there, but I’m lifting more and able to do a little bit more each week. I don’t think I’d be as ok with it if the support system in the box wasn’t there though. It’s amazing what you are capable of if you keep on keepin on! 🙂

    • The Daily Love

      That’s wonderful, Dani! Thank you for sharing 🙂 -Team TDL

    • Love this Dani, “It’s amazing what you are capable of if you keep on keeping on”. Huge congrats to you for continuing to go to Crossfit, even if it felt out of your element. That takes COURAGE 🙂 Love, Carmen 🙂

    • That’s awesome that you’re starting CrossFit and more importantly getting out of your comfort zone! I’ve been crossfitting for over two years and have been a coach for almost the same amount of time. I can definitely say from personal experience and observing others as a coach, that if you stick with this journey you’ll discover so much more about yourself in the process. Keep rocking out!

  • Thank you for sharing Carmen! The title drew my attention and it hit on exactly what I’m feeling right now. I’ve quit my job coaching at a gym because it was time to move on and pursue my dreams. It’s been a roller coaster of highs and lows and recently I’ve been feeling a little lost and dejected. After reading this, I took a moment to look back at how far I’ve come and I find joy in the fact that I’m moving towards my dream and pursuing my passion. Thank you again!