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Daily Share – Alone, Broken & Weak…

I was walked out by my now ex-husband a little more than one year ago. I’m still broken & weak. I’m full of hate & rage, rage like a crazy rapid white river. He’s getting remarried. Within the past year I’ve gotten very sick. Three tumors, leg/foot injury, and I tried to commit suicide many times with fail. I have tried to find Love, and all I find are disrespectful men. So I’m alone, broke, and no happiness. Just mystery but sooooo full of hate I feel. It’s annoying as to why I can’t just not care.

A TDL Reader

  • Sindhujaa Kumar

    -> Go on vacation for 2 months, and leave your old world behind. Not to meet new men, but to meet a new you.

    -> You can’t FIND love…it has to find YOU! You’re a woman – you probably need to let go & RECEIVE more than you GIVE. Just relax…

    -> The day your world started revolving around ONE person – you lost. You need to FOCUS on ALL AREAS of life and divide your energy amongst them. If you let other areas of your life diminish for one person, obsessing about him – the relationship starts to swagger. If one relationship is demanding so much energy from you, you should take a step back, and sort yourself out.

    -> You need to vote for yourself first. Amongst the multitude of women out there, if you’re feeling too insecure, it means you don’t believe in yourself. Would YOU like to be with a man who doesn’t believe in himself to such an extent that it turns you off? So choose yourself first, love yourself – the vibes will keep your man hooked to you. You don’t have to be too smart/clever/witty/beautiful/sorted !!! You just have to know you’re perfect with your imperfections. That you’re a work in progress.. That you deserve to be loved like there’s no tomorrow, as you authentically are right now.

    -> Enroll in a program like Mastin’s. The lessons you learn and people you meet will set the stage for your life.

    -> There’s NO way you’re getting out of that rut unless you start shifting your vibes to a more positive state. No excuses, no tricks, no workarounds. Do whatever it takes – to accept, relax, let it go, and start feeling good.

    -> If you ain’t working out and meditating everyday… you’re recovery process will take forever

    -> Your ex is gone! CHAPTER CLOSED. Get that ! And now act accordingly… live and love. STAY IN THE MOMENT :) Its not so bad then is it !

    -> Most of us have been through such stuff… we all know the pain… even the seemingly best of us… and we’ve all lived to tell our tales and write such notes to give out hope. You will heal too.

    • Been there

      Love it! Thanks.
      It worked for me in the past.My life is so much better NOW.

    • Moonbaby

      Love your reply Sindhujaa…….such wisdom and compassion.  I left a marriage after 32 years……..let go of the hate and anger……you are the only one suffering.  Lift your wings and fly!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/lhiggin Lynn Higgin

      Awesome reply Sindhujaa!!
      To the woman that wrote this…what a GREAT first step you made in just writing this to The Daily Love!!  HUGE hugs to you with love…start with taking a deep deep breath and read these amazing replies to you. You are loved!

    • Friscoaries

      Your reply has helped ME so much. And I will take all u said with me daily and not forget!

      THANK YOU!

      <3 Zoraya R.

  • AMH

    Good morning.
    Wow… I find your courage to be so honest and so real inspiring. Often times people sense feeling down and out but cant explain it due to lack of being truthful with themselves. I believe in order to fix it/change it first you have to be honest about what it is that is holding you back. You have done the hard part… rest assured that the future is brighter. I am no fortune teller but I have seen it time and time again where once the patterns are recognized and vocalized change is inevitable. You are an intelligent loving woman. Look back at what you wrote about the past year. Now tell me how you could possibly allow yourself another year in those shackles. Break out of the prison of “not good enough”, kick down the door, and nuture that woman who has wrongfully imprisoned herself. You have come upon a very special transitioning moment in life. Most times those past stories propell you to amazing fullfilling adventures. Due to the fact that you have the courage to put it all out on the table as you did in your first story, there is zero doubt you lack the courage to move on to your second story. The one where you break free, love yourself again, and move forward.
    Big cyber hug. I hope you have a remarkable day today.

  • Medredith Henry

    That chapter ended for a reason because life loves you. It may seem hard to see that right now, but I promise it’s true. 

    Do you feel like you deserved what happened to you? It didn’t happen TO you, it happened FOR you. Take that as a blessing and start finding ways to love your fabulous self. YOU are fabulous because you are in this world and you have so much to offer. Make a list a mile high with all your attributes and positive qualities. Read it everyday. But you have to let what happened go. Continue your journey of life with the expectation that your best life is RIGHT NOW and it will start happening. Sending love. 

    Meredith

  • http://www.loveinindia.co.in/ Sulagna – Love in India

    I’m sorry my dear. I don’t think you have any easy way out of this. You loved him, with all your heart, that’s your mistake. 
    You have to pay for that mistake with your soul. 
    All you can do is wait. They call time the best healer for a reason. And you have to believe that “tomorrow will be better than today”. And it will be, ’cause every day you’re moving a bit away from your fond and disastrous memories of your ex-husband. 
    You can also try this: Ask yourself whether you would be happier if he were dead. I bet you wouldn’t be. “Cause you really really loved him. So try to find solace in the fact that he’s at least alive and happy – even if with another woman – instead of being dead. 
    I know a lot of people will disagree vehemently with what I just said, but I would be dishonest if I offer you any other advice. 

  • Kaydays

    Love has to come from within. Getaway find yourself again and allow The Divine to mend what’s broken. Instead of aimlessly distracting yourself, reach out to others (people, nature, new experiences), and in some way you will see that you’re still taken care of by The Uni-verse. God bless you on your path to recovery.

  • Sarales

    I’m sorry for your pain. You may not want to hear this but,the hate and rage have to go. They’ll destroy you.If your filled with hate, you’re never going to “find love.” Namaste.

  • Leslie

    Please don’t give in to the darkness.  The light will shine on you again.
    My divorce was 12 1/2 years ago.  I have been alone and lonely since.
    Other than the relationship I settled for to ease the loneliness, which of course
    didn’t last very long.  I know how hard it is to fight and struggle against the 
    hopelessness, but please don’t give up.  There is no easy remedy. 
    Working out and meditating is very good advice.  Meditation has helped me 
    immensely, and keeping a gratitude journal.  Write 5 things everyday that you are
    grateful for, no matter how insignificant you may think it is now, acknowledge it and
    write it down.  You Tube has some great guided meditations to get you started.Try this for the rest of the month and see if by February the darkness
    has subsided. 
    I wish you peace.

  • CeeCee

    Dear Alone Broken and Weak, Embrace the hate and rage its probably high time you got mad right ?? I’m going through simular,, a little furthur on. I accepted myself as this person of anger and along the way learned many things about myself. If you don’t let yourself feel you’ll just stuff it for another time.  When your ready you will emerge like a butterfly because you now have empathy. Reasearch why you are drawn to men who disrespect you… its in your past. Take this time its ok and your ok. Remember it takes 2 people to mess up a relationship no matter how you look at it take responsibility for your part (even if its small LOL !) good luck !!

  • Shellyadelady66

    LOVE YOURSELF – find the things that make you, you and enjoy.
    Reinvent what you are as an individual on your journey of self discovery.
    Be the best you can – Accept the reality of your marriage ending and REFOCUS
    on you , what you need and enjoy…..

    BECOME whole within yourself – Let the anger and bitterness go …

  • Lori

    I feel for you.  I know that pain is consuming and debilitating.  I experienced something very similar and it was a little while before I realized that I was making everyone and everything outside myself responsible for my happiness.  It wasn’t until I got real honest with myself, got rid of the hate, and took responsibility for my life and happiness that I did indeed feel better about myself.  This is something I easily fall back into and have to always remind myself that the love I crave from outside myself is never ever enough.  Only when I practice self-love, when I am “all in” in my life, does the tide turn and I am filled up.  Good luck to you in your journey toward self-love my friend.  You can make it!

  • http://twitter.com/IamAnyaRogers Anya Rogers

    You might want to use Aqua Affirmations. They are more powerful then regular affirmations because you use them every time you drink or pee:)) 
    I was in a hole myself and I still use them every day. I even recorded a video to help people to become harrier. Here : 

    http://youtu.be/jt_IGoNygd0

    Be happy!

  • Shalom

    Emotions are so hard to tame. They can take over and reason goes out the window. You do have the most important thing for day to day living, your health. You have gotten past these difficlut episodes of illness that you mention. Now as you work to combat the anger at him…the guy who has moved on…put the focus on you. Really focus on you! Do for yourself something nurturing every day. Find out what makes you happy, makes you smile, makes you laugh, connects you to people…think about taking care of you and then do it!  Remember the word NURTURE. Give some nurturing to yourself. Your life does not center around one man. Your life is bigger than that. Explore your life. Get angry, okay, but return to you and your friends, and your future will be in the making. I’ve been there – on the obseessive end of  a relationship that was over and I hear you (!) with great compassion.  Keep working on taking care of you and focusing on you, and you will feel better and eventually bloom. 

  • Tasha Minor

    You have 2 options (Love or Fear). But seems you have only looked at one, Fear. You forgot that you (spirit) were created out of love. In fact, God which is the ultimate love is inside of you right now, always have been. You obviously see what where fear takes you, why won’t you give Love a try. Take some time to meditate and get in tuned with God/love inside of you. Nothing outside side of yourself can give you what your heart truly seeks. Just take a moment to breathe….. Appreciate the air that you are given, Appreciate your ability to communicate, Appreciate the ablity to see a world that was created for you to enjoy. Only you can make the choice. Choose love in everything you hear, see, and do. This wonderful world was created for you. Speak love to it and Love you will receive.   
    See, You are not alone…. There are people on this very website that were more than willing to serve You..

  • Jsinglet7

    I believe your first step should be to FORGIVE your ex-husband…and FORGIVE yourself. Next steps prayer, meditation & inspirational reading.

  • Zoraya Ramirez

    So choose yourself first, love yourself – the vibes will keep your man hooked to you. You don’t have to be too smart/clever/witty/beautiful/sorted !!! You just have to know you’re perfect with your imperfections. That you’re a work in progress.. That you deserve to be loved like there’s no tomorrow, as you authentically are right now.

    This says it ALL!! I too am going through a divorce and the pain is so thick & so real. You would think it could end your life. But, it doesn’t! You still breath and your heart still beats. That alone is worth living for and God loves you enough to have allowed you to love, lose but, still be here. So start living for YOU!!!

  • ak

    other people have gone through tough times just like you and have recovered and come back in full force.  so you’re not alone.  when i was going through difficult times, i used to play mlk speeches on youtube and believe it or not it helped massively – particularly the line, “truth crushed to earth, will rise again!”  there’s massive beauty at the other end of what you’re going through.  the other thing i’d recommend to start doing right away is the dvd – kundalini yoga by gurmukh.  it will change your life, is easy to do, and you’ll feel better right away.  

  • Kathy

    He has given you a gift.  You need to accept it.  He is giving you life, a life you deserve in which to be happy and fulfilled.   You are not alone.  You are a survivor and you don’t need to seek happiness and love.  It is all around you and your rage and hate prevents you from accepting all good things awaiting you.  He is your past and put your hate and rage there with it.  Accept the new you.  Celebrate the new you.  You do care and that is why you wrote this post.  I believe in you and stop looking for what you think will make you happy and whole–life happens.  Forgive yourself for having negative feelings and thank him (not necessarily in person, but in your heart and mind) for letting you go so that you can be open to all the possibilities the universe provides.  This is only a moment in a very prosperous life you have ahead of you.  Go out and enjoy nature and let your new life start!!!!  Every day is a new beginning and everyone you meet will become a part of your journey.  Happy trails to you!!!!

  • Lrenee0814

    You need to let go and learn to love yourself! No one else is going to love you until you do.men come and go in our lives and that’s just how it is. If god isn’t a part of your life right now that’s where you need to start, trust me I know. Good look and keep your head up.