Daily Share – Fear That Life Is Too Short…

I am suffering from a deep fear/anxiety. It seems to have started when my husband turned 70 (I am 8 years younger). Very suddenly I realized that life is short. Life will soon end for us. What do we have left to look forward to if anything? I worry about what will become of us. How will I live without my husband if he should die first? We have no children and what will become of us in our old age? How will we take care of each other or more importantly the one who is left by themselves…who will be there for him/her? The anxiety has taken over my life. I’m awake at 3 a.m. with it on my mind and cannot shake it enough to enjoy the life we have left.

A TDL Reader

  • Diannemcgriff

    Hello Happy Thursday. Life is short whether you are 7 or 70. The next moment is not guaranteed to anyone. If we worry about the next moment, we lose the gift of now. This may sound trite but true. God has you covered. Please try not to worry. Trust and love. Life does not end with the death of our mortal bodies. I pray that God will give you peace and freedom from anxiety. Love Somebody, Hug Somebody, Smile at somebody. Have a beautiful day.

    • That is the most honest and heartfelt advice I think this lady could have ever asked for. I prayed for her peace and freedom from anxiety too. Much love to both of you.

  • Kristi

    I understand your fear as I fit your description of age and husband and am trying to figure out out medicare and how to pay for the supplement.  Medicare part D, Part F, how will we have enough to pay for things, what to do next?  We, started a journey of traveling in the RV for two years, renting out our home and having the adventure.  Now we are trying to live in the present and being of service in the world each day.  The opportunities have been incredible, both to serve, to live in the present, to live with divine order.  But recently fear just jumped in.  Calling wonderful friends for support has helped.  Sharing conversation with my husband and prayer have helped.  It is a moment by moment walk to live in the present right now!  Still do my business, but what is happening now is the whole key.  Every day an angel appears with information to help me through the steps.  These angels are fellow motor home travelers, Oprah, this blog, the camp workers at the camping sites, literally a person on a trolley tour of Savannah.  Every day my angels appear and I am allowed to clearly see that I am not alone.
    Am so glad we stepped out into the world and have created this wonderful journey and experience and we are so proud of Americans and we love to see how beautiful it is in this world, but still the fear can come.  So you just pull yourself back into this moment and you can see God.

    • Phan

      Dear Kristi
      You are a very wise women! I am the same age with you, single, live by myself….but I am very happy and peaceful  because I am very grateful for EVERY MOMENT and every breathing I have right now.I do not want to waste a single minute of  living a life……
      Best wishes to all of you

    • Margueta562

      I heard somewhere , when you feel helpless…help others. It really does work to give you new purpose.

      I know its hard but focus on what you need right now. Do some volunteer work and you will see…

      Love and Light!

  • bimini444

    I am 32 and I have that fear. Fear of not every finding love, fear of being alone for the rest of my life, fear of living a long unhappy life. Sometimes it’s crippling and I can’t do anything and other times I reach for reality. Knowing that the uni-verse has my back and only wants the best for me and some how some way beauty and love will manifest in my life. I believe for you that the uni-verse will love and protect you through and provide you with all you need as you continue to life on. 

    • Ellbagley

      Let me say first that I am much better at offering advice than I am at taking it!  However I wanted to let you know that you have found the right track this time.  I would just add that perhaps you can look for and find something for which you are grateful RIGHT NOW and focus on that thing, whatever it is.  Then see if you can give something to someone else who needs it:  an ear, a shoulder, a hug, a cookie…  I bet you will feel a lot better after doing so.
      Beauty and Love to you.

  • Ellen

    My husband and I are in a similar situation.  We have discussed what to do if anything happens to one or the other of us.  But we refuse to dwell on it.  There is so much we want to enjoy right now.  Focus on something positive in your life.  Then share it.
    Here’s wishing you some anxiety-free time to enjoy what you have and what is all around you.

    Much love,

  • I’ve also felt that fear.  And thought “What IS the point?”  I have many theories.  One of which is that we’re all here just to have fun and enjoy THIS life, whatever it brings us.  We ARE here for a reason, that much I’m certain.   Another theory is that while we may not see the point of our actions or our life while we’re living, whether we know it or not, we all touch other people by our existence, and it creates ripples.  We all do the best we can with what we have at the present moment.  The key is to keep our focus on the present moment.  Easier said than done, for sure!  I’m known to fret and worry about the future.  I often play out scenarios in my head that haven’t even happened yet, and get worked up over them.  Why?  Then I remind myself that whatever happens is happening for a reason and for my best interest, and I AM strong enough to deal with whatever comes.  Follow your heart and live in LOVE, not fear! 
    My tip when you’re feeling overwhelmed by the fear next time is to immediately change your thoughts.  When you keep thinking, “I’m so scared, I’m so scared,” you’ll continue to be scared.  Instead try this: Focus on your heart (or soul/spirit/inner guide, whatever works for you) and remind yourself that YOU ARE LOVE!  Yes, you ARE love!  Embodied love!  You WILL be taken care of.  The Universe/God will see to it, I guarantee you! 

  • Kat

    Hi There, sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. You believe in something because you’re a The Daily Love reader. A something inside you that  believes in love and light?  It is important to live IN THE MOMENT. Anxiety is one of the biggest killers of joy. Have you heard of Louise Hay? She is a VIBRANT lively woman who is 86 years old!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louise_Hay

    If you want to feel alive and young…have a passion!! feel passion. bring passion forth. Regardless of your religion, you ARE spirit. You are a spirit in a body!! And your spirit is eternal. Ignite that spirit. Do things that make your soul sing, your face smile and break out into laughter. Also honor your body which has taken you through a great journey. Eat well, eat lots of foods with living energy!! Raw green smoothies with vibrant energy of kale and spinach and berries! Exercise! Lift weights! Meet people, join a group. Travel, read a new book! take up a hobby like painting.  Go to the museum!  Maybe get into nature! take walks, marvel at nature, if pets bring you joy..get a puppy or a kitten! CHOOSE to see God/ Buddha/Allah/Universe whatever name you want to use, in everything. INVITE spirit into your life.

    If you don’t have a daily practice of feeling in touch with spirit. I recommend getting one. Sit alone in silence. Maybe play serene music if that helps at first. Take a chance and ask spirit to come into your life, guide you, fill you up with fire.

    Life is not guaranteed. Whether you are 7 or 70. LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST. Can I tell you that my best friend, my school mate, my next door neighbour, she died when we were 12 years old. She died THREE MONTHS after another school mate died. The first of meningitis. My friend died in a car crash coming back from a March Break ski trip. Her name is Samantha. Life is not guaranteed. You have no idea. It could be tomorrow. It could be 20 more years. You have no idea. Live life right now.

    And if you feel helpless? HELP SOMEBODY, volunteer. feed the homeless, clean up a park with a group. Help a friend out who is in a sad funk.

    All my love to you. xoxoxo

  • Lori1273

    Thank you for sharing your fears.  I have them also and love all the advice you have received below.  Anxiety occurs for me when I am reliving the past or worrying about the future.  And what happens is I am not present for the here and now, where there is no anxiety.  

  • Agnesyadira

    Good and Beautiful advice from Diannemegriff.  It always begins with your mind, what you put your mind to will eventually become you.  If you are constantly worrying and trying to figure out a problem you leave no space for the wonders of life, for the magic in life.  Life has it’s ways of surprising us with beautiful, good and positive things falling into place but once again, you have to think about those things in order for them to happen.  Let it go and put your life in the hands of hope.  Also, buying a Long Term Care policy won’t hurt, we do have to prepare for the inevitable.  Have a joyous beautiful day!!

  • Catharine

    hello there! 

    I think we are all have those fears. Not the same, but similar. I don’t think any of us would be able to answers all those questions, ever. My work and my husband’s work require us to travel by plane to small places sometimes, and my worried were the airplanes. the quality of the airplanes and the skills of the Pilots!, My mind would start creating stories….

    However, I got better now. How? 🙂

    I made my self busy. Keep moving. Sometimes when my “mind” starts to create story, I immediately focus in what am doing at that moment (washing my face, brush my teeth, etc) and I would move fast from doing one thing to the other. So fast, my mind doesn’t have enough time to think/ give comments. Now, during the take off of the airplane, I can sit still, and calm and feel the plane takes off. Or when my husband travel, I get easy now as I will be busy doing things. if the worry comes, I take a deep breathe and get busy. Practice makes perfect. As we travel a lot, I got use to practice myself to get busy.

    Secondly, to continue keeping myself busy, I joined courses, meeting friends outside, travelling, writing my blog, designing my jewelries (my dream), going for excercise. Anything to keep me moving physically, will get me tired, and I will sleep well at night.

    My parents in laws are in their 76 and 85 years of age. One day they talk about their old age casually, over breakfast. How it worries them. Get myself thinking about that…what would I feel if I were in their age.

    But they reduced they fear by keep themselves busy. They travel to challenging countries (try India!) visiting me and my husband every year. And we would do crazy, fun activities (one that happened just recently Cycling in the Old Delhi!. Pretty challenging for old couple from Europe. They fell, next to the Eggs Seller Stand, along with 90 eggs that were all broken all over them :). They both bleeding and laughing hard!. Apart from travel, my mother in law gets so busy with her voluntering work in old age home, her knitting project (for her friends, and grand daughters), among others.

    Keep yourself busy. Create. Don’t spend time with your mind. Do something you would love to do. Join courses you always think of to join… Join a tour and travel to challenging countries 🙂 or to different cities you never visit in your country. Learning something new. One day at the time. My Italian auntie is in her 70s and just started French class! 🙂

    Keep moving!

    cheers from India,

  • Catharine

    oops I forgot, I want to show you a video of old age creative people that might inspire you, as well as it has been inspiring me.

    Life of Making: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLc3HUnjjgA

    Take care,

  • Loretta Shaw

    At different stages in our lives, many things become questionable as we age… death is one of them. It is that final step into the unknown. We came into this world a unique individual and we will leave this earth the same way we came into it…greenhorns! Have no fear. Let LOVE, PEACE and FAITH keep us in HIS TRUTH.

  • Eveline Almeida

    When we are young we don’t care too much about death although we know we can die at any second. I think you are both scared of being alone not dying. If this is the case, I think, as someone said before, you should consider volunteering, helping someone as long as your body allows you. I’m sure that by doing this you’ll never find yourself alone.