Hello, So I am very new to this. I saw this website on Super Soul Sunday I am 17-years-old and I am a student in high school. I am very mature for my age, with that being said I really don’t have any friends to communicate with on a more serious note. I am the black sheep of the family and recently my mother got very sick. After the 3 passings of my brother, great grandmother, and my grandpa, I started to think what happens after death. My mother, along with my whole family is now Hare Krishna, which is amazing because I have never seen a whole family get together on one religion so fast! They love it and I am very happy for them. But I’m the one left out because I really am not too sure about it. I want to do this for my mom, because it makes her happy, but I don’t truly believe it yet. My mother told me that my time will come to see this through… and that some people have to hit rock bottom before springing back up. And other people have underestimated my talks about my life and what my problems are because of my age. Through all the depression, anxiety, sickness, pain, sorrow, crying myself to sleep, unhappiness, and not knowing my self-worth, break ups, make ups, I have still not hit my rock bottom. The thing that I want in life, ever since I was a little girl is just to be truly happy. I would kill for that. I seem to always make people feel better and do right. But I can’t even get myself on track…which brings me to my doubt in the Uni-verse. And when I mean doubting, I mean too scared to turn to it. Because I have messed up so much… I also feel embarrassed, ugly, and worthless. I mean who wants to go to anyone (especially a higher power) like that. And for me to keep turning away, makes my heart hurt so bad because I know that the Uni-verse will love me unconditionally no matter what I do. But I just can’t turn to it. But lately I feel like the Uni-verse is trying to give me a sign. The thing that brings me down to my weakest point is knowing I’m alone and that I will be alone. So I think the Uni-verse’s “sign” to me is taking away what makes me feel not alone (boyfriends, friends, family, school *grades* etc.) very slowly to where all I have to turn to Uni-versal love. And I’m right at that point. I am very confused, and very scared. So if there is anyone that has any advice, please let me know.
A TDL Reader