I dated this man who was a family man, has children as well as I have my daughter. We both were single when we met and both were dealing with life matters at the time. When we first started dating I let him know I wanted to see where we go in our relationship, before bringing our children to meet.
Two months we waited. Anyhow, we spent so much time together, did things with our kids, traveled, and 7 months into our relationship he move in with me. I learn to cook better for him, cleaned his stuff, helped him when he was in a jam anything I could do I did. He showed me so much love, he made sure I was ok tuck me into bed, helped me with research projects. Everything seemed so amazing. People would always say we had a glow, they saw a happier me. I was so in love and at peace. Till one day he said he needed space, he needed to leave. It wasn’t me it was him. Next day I find him at my friends house, they were having an affair. He told my friend that I was crazy, needed to loose weight, I wasn’t beautiful, I needed a job. All things I had No idea he felt. And the fact he never said it to me he said it to her. She would call my phone leaving messages laughing how she got my man!
I was broken, so lost so hurt, wondering how blind was I. I decided to go to my best friends. And instead of listening to my tears, fears, broken heart, they were quick to say, “Get over it, he is scum, you’ll have better!” It was almost as if they didn’t care, but they all still hung with him, would tell me how cool he was, how they all went clubbing, with my ex boyfriend and ex friend.
A month has past Christmas went by and I hear about the break up. My ex friend kicks out my ex boyfriend. Said she got the presents she needed and was tired of him already, she wasn’t ready to play wifey.
A few days after New Years I see him, he holds me and kisses me tells me he is a jerk, and stupid. He needs to get his life together, he messed up so bad. I asked him why he cheated he could not answer. I left it alone.
Once again I got to my friends hurting cause I still love this man, I’m hurt that a friend would do this to me, I just wanted to vent. Seems every time I vented my friends all got mad. So I decided to vent to the world but in a spiritual way. Saying that I pray for him, that my heart hurts but I believe in love. I love myself and I love others.
I have come to terms with my ex boyfriend. We decided to be friends. I can’t express my feelings of how much I still love him because he isn’t ready to hear that, I don’t keep asking why he did what he did and said the things he say to people because its not worth the fight. I go to my friends one last time about my feeling towards my ex friend to me took my life, love And happiness from me, and because I expressed this at a party when all my friends were there, they got mad! Told me the next day I need to stop thinking about my ex and my ex friend. Get over it move on. This hurts me so much. I can’t talk to anyone about this. I go to a therapist to talk, but there is no feedback, I have no family. Just my daughter and I. I take care of my child 24/7. Stay home single mother. And all my friend say is “forget your ex, get over him, he don’t want you, it’s about you and your child. You’ll find a better man, you changed!” I don’t know what my friends want me to do. When I started dating him, my friends said I changed cause I wasn’t around anymore, now that I’m so hurt lost and alone my friends say I have changed because I love a man that cheated.
What hurts me I’m not allowed to love a man that yes hurt me, but they can hang out and be friends with this man that hurt me.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m only 29! I have no one to turn to. I have no real place to vent. I can’t trust anyone. I am so lost. I don’t know who to be, how to be, cause everything I do I’m wrong! I’m hiding in my house at this point. Can’t sleep, barely can eat. Don’t feel beautiful anymore.
Is there any advice at all you could give to me? Am I wrong to still love this man? Am I wrong to vent to my friends and it’s been 3 months?
Please help me.
A TDL Reader
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