Daily Share – How Can I Start Over & Be Love?

I am now starting over having made the devastatingly difficult decision to end an unhealthy relationship with my girlfriend. She attempted suicide in late may and has since only made a halfhearted effort at group therapy, avoided solo therapy and slipped back into her old habits against all advice. I am heartbroken to say the least. She told me that she would be following their advice on avoiding relationships for a year but I know that she has joined a dating site and is getting lots of attention because she is gorgeous.

I need to let go and move on to a healthy relationship. I need amazing friends to help me thru. I need to discover the dreams I have forgotten. I need to embark on the Hero journey but what is the first step to find my courage to love again. What am I supposed to learn from all of this? I spent everything I had trying to support her while she was depressed. I quit my soul sucking job since and don’t know what to do. I thought love would heal all this but either I didn’t have enough or do enough.

How do I start over and be the love that is needed in the world? How do I create and or attract an authentically awesome life from here?

A TDL Reader

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  • Marisol

    I will pray for you, that you receive the peace and strenght that you need. I’m sorry that you have had to go through that…. But you are brave, leaving her. Looks are not important, though I know you must have mixed feelings looking at her. You did try to help her, it is done. Good things will come your way, because you are a good person. Focus only on today. Today, think positive…today look for a job, today have faith that things happen for a reason and that you will find someone better. Today, take care of you. One day at a time. Wishing you the best!

  • Azule

    Endure the feeling. Get through it not over it. When your sick of feeling down, you will get up and be stronger than ever. You can’t help her until you help yourself. By letting her go is the best thing that you can do for you and her. Love is shown through decisions you make whether its obvious or not. By letting go, you have really decide to love wholeheartedly. After all love makes the best decision. The question shouldn’t be how do I get over it but how much do I really love her? I hope this help. That was my loving intention. 🙂 Look up!

  • E

    How do you do it? It sounds to me like you are already doing it by listening to your inner voice and following what it says. Just know that you will make it out on the other side of this transitional time – that’s what it is. In order to get to the place you want to be sometimes it takes an uncomfortable amount of pain and well, discomfort. Like the analogy of the caterpillar who turns into a butterfly. Sending you lots of love and positive energy!

  • Wendy Richards86

    As far as I can tell you already started on your new path. Everything takes time, but we humans are always in a hurry to make things happen now. So if you try to rush you end up frustrated and annoyed. Just look for open doors and avoid the ones that appear to be closed. They may open at a later date but for now you need to consintrate on the things you have control over like your thoughts and actions. The universe will take care of the rest. I just posted a blog called, “Positive Bombardment” on word press under Wendy Richards2011.I think you will enjoy it and maybe even get some ideas of your own to help you through this hard time in your life. Just remember that change is constant and life is a wonderful journey. Enjoy it as much as possible.
                                                                                                              Your friend, Wendy Richards

  • It’s great that you tried to help your girlfriend, but it sounds like you lost yourself in the process. It doesn’t sound like she is trying to resolve her issues, so you are right to walk away. If she doesn’t want to heal, there is no amount of love you can give that will change her. The love that is missing in this situation is the love that you have for yourself. The first step is for you to find yourself again. Get back to the things you like to do and find a job you love. Don’t worry about finding another relationship. When you are happy and loving yourself, you will attract someone that can love you the way you deserve. You shouldn’t have to lose yourself to love someone else. The love of another person should compliment you, not eclipse you. 

  • To be the love that is needed in the world, you need to be the love that you need. You will attract an authentically amazing life when you authentic and amazing to yourself. As it is within, so it is without. And to begin being the love you need, practice gratitude. You have a rough situation, but you have an abundance to be thankful for. There are so many ways to practice gratitude – one way is to think of five things you are thankful for at the end of each day (writing it down can make the practice more powerful). I wish you all the best! 

  • love must be two ways and if you are only giving without receiving it is time to move on anyway. You will be in pain and then the pain will get better, if you let it! Take time to grieve but also take time to heal. Do want you love to do, want to do and take pleasure in, the rest will follow.

  • Peggyeck1

    I know right now you aren’t feeling like these very huge and powerful things that you have done are steps in the right direction.  You probably feel sick at your core and are questioning every choice you have made.  Questioning all these things about where you could have done or said something different.  The truth is you did all you could and this person you loved didn’t love herself enough.  She needs serious intervention from professionals.  You are doing the right thing by stepping lovingly away.  It’s going to hurt like hell for a while-and you may backslide ten times to this relationship thinking things will be different and you are strong enough to fix it for both of you.   You are strong-strong enough to see you will never be able to help her by staying-courageous enough to let go.  Things get better for you in small steps.  The plan has already been made and your job is to get up every morning and be willing to see the things that are about to lead you to a love like you’ve never known.  That’s it-just get out of bed.  It’s already there for you.