Daily Share – How To Find A Safe Outlet For My Authenticity?

TDL_FB iconEveryone wants me to be invisible, to never have a controversial opinion, and to never show any weaknesses. All I want to do is be authentic, transparent, and open. How do I find a safe outlet for my authenticity, or should I just bury it out of respect for my loved ones? I feel angry at being quieted and ashamed that the authentic me is apparently not valid enough to show publicly. Just feeling kind of lost . . .

A TDL Reader

  • Meredith Henry

    Burying your authentic self isn’t respect, it’s DISRESPECT because you are essentially lying to their faces and to yourself. You also need to look at what you feel it is you are having to hide. Opinions about things? Who you really are as a person? Have you tried sitting down with your loved ones (maybe individually) and explain that when they hush who you are trying to be, you feel like they won’t accept you no matter what? Explain the hurt that causes you. Is there a group in your town that you can join that is similar to the “authentic you?” Maybe finding people who are similar would help. 

  • Sindhujaa Kumar

    You could slowly start by voicing your truth in non-threatening situations. By wording your opinion in a non-angry / non-blaming/ non-dramatic way, you invite less opposition. You don’t have to be smack-in-the face, at least until you’re more comfortable speaking and behaving in a different way than you’ve been doing so. While you respect what others have to say, if you can casually speak your truth in a calm way – or a way that gently opens up the space for you and your people to have differences and still be okay, that’s the way forward.

     Of course, once you’ve bared yourself, there will be people who shrink away from certain aspects of you, and there will be some who get closer to you. You need to be prepared for that. I’m all in support of you being authentic – since a life of hiding/disguise is bound to load up on negativities and blow up one day into some undesirable situation. It’s better you pro-actively start sorting it out now. People will gradually start accepting you for what you are, and respect and love you for just that 🙂
    Your views are valid. Your voice is important. Your authentic presence in the world is necessary.

  • Upstager

    We can’t please everyone, and eventually we recognize that we are the one & only person we should be concerned about.
    Being authentic is not easy; however it sure feels good!!!

  • If they love you, they will accept the true you.  Think about that.  You do not need to feel angry or ashamed.  Let your truth speak for itself.  At first, some will be shocked and some will be upset.  You might even loose some friends.  Yet, if your true self comes out of love, then with time, you will find even more kind souls that will love you just the way you are. 

    Do not look for acceptance and validation from anyone else.  Accept yourself, love yourself and others and it will come.

  • Ali

    let’s start off by blessing and praying for your loved ones.  it seems like they are caught up in their own trials and tribulations.  to “bury” your truth ” out of respect” is essentially (as a course in miracle describes) ” Investing in their poverty.”  Be yourself and you’d be surprised how your external experience changes as a result.

  • Tedge

      It’s only a  belief that you will offend people by being yourself but when you are your true self with love your life and world will change. The first step  in being authentic is loving yourself tell yourself  everyday many times that that you love yourself and find love and appreciation for everyone around you and down the road you won’t care what people think because you will be happy being you.