About 6 months ago I met and fell in love with a man who I regard as a soul mate. While I know 6 months is not a long time, I could not be more certain of this unmatched connection in all aspects of the word. Last week I was made aware that he is involved in a 6 year, live-in relationship. When I approached him with this, his immediate response was to deny and lie to me, until I was able to bring proof about it. With proof, he eventually confessed that she is still living there and claims that they have not been together or happy in a long time. He is now apologizing, and saying that he knows it is a big mistake and is pleading for me to stick by him through this and that he will do whatever it takes to make up for the mess he has created, he has never had a connection or love like this in his life, wants to work on our future, he is moving her out of his house… etc, etc.. you get it.
Prior to finding out about this woman and in the beginnings of our relationship, I was overwhelmed and a bit scared of the intense feelings and vulnerability. We worked through this together and he shared the same feelings and repeatedly assured me that I could trust in him. I chose love every time these feelings came up and remained open during the most vulnerable times. I learned a lot about myself and we both grew individually and as a couple in choosing love.
Now that this has happened, I am having the hardest time choosing love and am in a state of confusion on which direction to move. Do I stay by him and love and wait for him, pray that he makes choices that will bless both of us moving forward together, hope that he is being truthful with me? Is it worth the risk? Or do I try to make peace with what has happened, forgive him and move on without him? If there wasn’t such a deeply rooted connection, there would be no question. We all know these soul connections do not come along often – if ever… I think the hardest part is letting go of what I thought we had and the individual I thought he was. I do try and see people for what they are and not what I want them to be, it’s just not so easy this time.
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
A TDL Reader