The Daily Love
A place to Love and be Loved
I have a very unhappy soul, looking for happiness in all the wrong places. How do I get out of a 28yr marriage? It sounds so classic, but it’s not….Lots of trials and tribulations, just wondering how to get to that place!
A TDL Reader
Sounds like, emotionally, you have already left the marriage. The next challenge is stepping into the fear of what’s next for you and that is scary for most all of us. Today’s post about chaos in our lives is an example that the universe is helping you make that decision, you are just choosing not to act on it. Fear of the unknown always blocks our path. Instead of concentrating on your “marriage”, I challenge you to focus on yourself and want you want. Only then can you become clear how to proceed. And know that you are exactly where you need to be – trust the process.
Paul Simon wrote ‘Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover’ and while (glibly) that could pertain to your situation it could also be looked at as a serious question of why haven’t you left (since there are 50 easy ways). Like the commenter earlier said the journey really starts with you. Self-love. Small incremental things to reconnect with your soul (mirror work, meditation, healthy choices in the name of your soul etc). Lastly, sometimes my ego likes to blame others (particularly my mother) for my various miseries but this is not true. I’m too old to blame her. Sometimes it just seems easier to put it on her than face myself and the tough relationship with Self that is more the issue. So, even if you left, and surely you could leave, but the person making all those bad choices is coming with you. So no matter what you do start with looking carefully and lovingly (accepting) at you Self.
It is impossible for your soul to be unhappy. It knows nothing of it, only Love. Love for you and everyone and everything. Hold no one accountable for your grievances or your happiness. Knowing this, take the time to ask yourself honestly why you want to go as well as why you would stay. Are you holding someone responsible for your happiness? Are you blaming someone for your unhappiness? No one outside you can make you miserable. And no one outside you can make you happy. This appears to be an untruth when we consider the myriad things in life that we believe happened to us that were not our “fault”. That we have been wronged in some way. Or that we are “inherently” flawed in some way. Everyone and everything in your life is exactly as it should in perfect order so that you can come to the realization that YOU are the answer you’ve been looking for. And have been all along. Nothing needs to change. No one needs to change. Just your awareness of the truth. Having said that, I’m no guru. I’m still working this belief into my own reality. I am not yet fully aware of the truth of who I am. But I know I’m on my way, and for now that is the best I can do. And you are too and all the other 7 billion souls on this planet. How do you leave a 28 year marriage? Be sure that it’s really what you want and then put one foot in front of the other. But don’t make any of it someone’s fault, including your own! Blessings to you, wishing you the best!