Not accepting my authentic self has been the major blocker for me in my life. I have always managed to put others before me and for that reason alone I have suffered greatly. I have gone above and beyond to keep people in my life simply because I have NOT believed that I was worthy. I believed that I couldn’t be alone and all that translated to the world is that I wasn’t happy with myself. People saw that and I always became dumb founded when the person left or lost interest in me–which made my entire world shatter.
Unsuccessful relationship after unsuccessful relationship proved to me that The Uni-verse was mirroring back to me ONLY what I thought of myself. We call into our lives whatever our thoughts are and at the end of each failed relationship, the only person I had to blame was ME because I allowed the very things that I did not want. With that, at the end of each failed relationship was me being left alone–the very thing I have feared from the beginning. Being alone allowed me to see the choices that I made and to look at them differently. When I faced them without guilt or shame and stopped punishing myself, only then, was growth accomplished. I had to accept that I am only human and that low self esteem was a learned behavior that could be unlearned only with choice. Today, at this very moment, (in the words of Iyanla Vazant) “I choose to “fill my cup up first and whatever spills over, is for everyone else!”
Be Blessed and Love yourself first because without love for self, we can’t possibly give love out.
A TDL Reader
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