Daily Share – Love Yourself First!

I did not experience love at first sight, but I did experience a feeling, a sense of love, and qualities that I want in love. I met this guy and he is not my type mentally but has potential. He keeps my attention with his dark hair and light eyes. I met him and he was living with someone that he was once engaged to but had issues. We started as friends. I was also dating someone and he wanted to take it to the next level, but I didn’t. We found a common denominator with work and our new friendship. We just talked about things going on and he really put in effort to be my friend, and I was receptive. I broke it off with the guy I was dating and one day I told him I was interested in him. I remember this Alicia Keys song was playing “Unthinkable” the exact lyrics I sang along to were, “you give me a feeling that I never felt before. A feeling impossible to ignore, I was wondering maybe could I make you my baby. If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?” Wow…thanks Alicia Keys she has obviously been there and wrote that. Anyways he just looked at me. He never expected anything would ever happen between us since we were so different. We truly are by the way, but we get along for the most part. Especially when we are out of town, away from reality of our separate lives.

Anyways, he was supposed to leave his “situation.” Wow, that is what it is called nowadays. But, here I am 2 and 1/2 years later and she still lives there. She knows about me his family loves me, and yet he has not separated from this ex. I am so exhausted and I know that love is supposed to conquer all but she does not want to lose her lifestyle and he does not want to lose the house or downsize. So, I have made the decision that he must not believe in this enough to move forward and we have a completely different viewpoint on love and where this should be going. So, now I am walking away and it is hard but I love myself first and my soul does not sit well with me staying. I am no longer happy and what we have is not enough. Especially, staying like this. I am tired of the procrastination. I am applying the principle: If you love something you must let it go, and if it comes back, it is meant to be. Also a biblical principle you must lose it before you can gain it. So, whether love is with him or someone else, at this point I don’t care as long as I find the real thing. So, I walk away not bitter and welcoming. I know I love myself and with that I know that I can find love because they always say, “you must love yourself first before you can love anyone else.” I got that down finally…..

A TDL Reader

  • Sandoradesu

    Hi. A friend of mine actually went through that very same thing. Good for you for having the courage to value yourself and your desires and move forward. 

  • fsmith_21

    Way to go. I congratulate you on listening to that inner voice. Let it guide you!

  • Jennifer Griffin

    I relate to you wholeheartedly. I am single after being in various relationships for the last 14 years. I am beginning to unravel who I am. It all starts with learning to love yourself, growing your experience. That will lead you to the best person to help you grow vs. hold you back. Good luck!! 

  • Meghan

    This made me a little teary…’my soul does not sit well with me staying’. I just moved out of my boyfriends house for just that reason. My soul was telling me to leave. You are not alone and if feels comforting to know that I am not the only one going through this. As proud of myself as I am, I am lonely at the holidays. 
    May we be patient and continue to grow in love.

  • Nikki

    Thank you for sharing. I was recently with someone and even though as time went on, it became apparent that we were in very different places (emotionally, spiritually, and philosophically), I stayed longer than I should have. My soul was telling me to leave much much earlier but the emotional payoff I got for staying in it- enjoying the company, the snuggling, the physicality etc. kept me there longer. Eventually the lack of peace my soul was experiencing outweighed the payoff. As I was ready to let it go, she ended up breaking it off with me anyways, so in the end I did not have a choice.
    Now I am more in touch with my soul and I will put that part of me first.

  • no1

    love! preach it girl!.. I hope, every girl in the world should read this. Every girl deserves a man who will treat her right and if a guy can’t handle that then find the one who will. I know it is easily said than done but it is the truth. we must not settle for less, because we are worth more than guys think.