I did not experience love at first sight, but I did experience a feeling, a sense of love, and qualities that I want in love. I met this guy and he is not my type mentally but has potential. He keeps my attention with his dark hair and light eyes. I met him and he was living with someone that he was once engaged to but had issues. We started as friends. I was also dating someone and he wanted to take it to the next level, but I didn’t. We found a common denominator with work and our new friendship. We just talked about things going on and he really put in effort to be my friend, and I was receptive. I broke it off with the guy I was dating and one day I told him I was interested in him. I remember this Alicia Keys song was playing “Unthinkable” the exact lyrics I sang along to were, “you give me a feeling that I never felt before. A feeling impossible to ignore, I was wondering maybe could I make you my baby. If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?” Wow…thanks Alicia Keys she has obviously been there and wrote that. Anyways he just looked at me. He never expected anything would ever happen between us since we were so different. We truly are by the way, but we get along for the most part. Especially when we are out of town, away from reality of our separate lives.
Anyways, he was supposed to leave his “situation.” Wow, that is what it is called nowadays. But, here I am 2 and 1/2 years later and she still lives there. She knows about me his family loves me, and yet he has not separated from this ex. I am so exhausted and I know that love is supposed to conquer all but she does not want to lose her lifestyle and he does not want to lose the house or downsize. So, I have made the decision that he must not believe in this enough to move forward and we have a completely different viewpoint on love and where this should be going. So, now I am walking away and it is hard but I love myself first and my soul does not sit well with me staying. I am no longer happy and what we have is not enough. Especially, staying like this. I am tired of the procrastination. I am applying the principle: If you love something you must let it go, and if it comes back, it is meant to be. Also a biblical principle you must lose it before you can gain it. So, whether love is with him or someone else, at this point I don’t care as long as I find the real thing. So, I walk away not bitter and welcoming. I know I love myself and with that I know that I can find love because they always say, “you must love yourself first before you can love anyone else.” I got that down finally…..
A TDL Reader