As far as I can remember I have never been in a real HEALTHY relationship EVER. There was this one time when I had just turned 18, and I was serving in the military overseas. I thought I was madly in love with this handsome 23-year-old, and we had this whirlwind romance, only to result that on our way back home not only did I find out he has a live-in girlfriend back home, but I was pregnant. He was my first everything and now we share a beautiful boy. However, this left me broken for a very long time. Since I was busy being alone and pregnant because, of course, he went back to his girlfriend, I didn’t give myself any time to heal. I am a great mother and have provided my son with the security and lovable environment that a child needs to flourish throughout their childhood. Yet, my romantic life is a disaster, it is full of one-nighters, false promises and emotionally unavailable men. This has a lot to do with me because I feel that it is safe to not be with someone who needs me all the time since all of my focus has been on my child and my education. He is 9 now and I realize what a mess I have made out of my love life. It took me a long time to forgive myself for my mistakes and to learn to love myself and all of my flaws that make me who I am. Now I have all this love that I want to share and partnership I want to build.
A couple of months ago I met a guy who seems to be very honest and sincere. He is such a beautiful person and is going through a difficult time right now. He has been separated from his wife for over a year and he has been going through a rough time because of the holidays. He tells me not to take it personal and that he gets this way because of the fact that he was with someone for so long that did not want him. So he says it’s more about him and not her at this point. I don’t know what to do about this. Do I leave him alone? Am I being co-dependent? How does this work?
A TDL Reader