Well I’ve been holding back sharing about my unique struggles….not only am I financially lacking right now, but I have a few somewhat unique struggles to deal with but I know I am not the only one also living with this disease. A disease which makes any female who lives with it feel less than even if she puts on a good show so others don’t really know her pain. The disease is known as PCOS and the symptom is hirsuteness….no health insurance so I can’t even see a doctor. Name calling, especially while in the public school system, is likely to rip your self-confidence to shreds. Some girls are blessed to go home to a family that loves them…unfortunately for me family has been one of the biggest sources of my psychological torment, I love them but don’t always understand their motivations.
I’m living what must be at the lowest income level before you reach poverty status, actually faced homelessness a few times, but I won’t let that happen. My first job was going alright but the constant harassment from a fellow employee and no manger to correct her behavior when it was presented led to such severe anxiety before going in to work one day I was keeled over in such pain…obviously I was late to work…however I let the manager know I wouldn’t be treated like this and left. Was it the wrong choice? Should I have dealt with it? I don’t know. Over a year has passed and I’m struggling to pay rent this month…the job I have now is only part-time. I am worried that this disease and how it affects my self-confidence is playing a role in only working a part-time status. I’ve let the comments from a few employees go over my head….I know there are a lot of girls living with this symptom and they feel less than…but I want them to know it is only a symptom, and the fabulous person you are inside outshines it all.
I can sense my life is making a 180 degree turn from the dark depression state I was in for so long…I pray constantly…and I feel the inner work I have done is now about to manifest outwardly into a fabulous life.
I hope that this adds awareness so that the next time someone sees a hirsute girl/woman instead of making an ignorant comment they simply say nothing or maybe decide to befriend her.
A TDL Reader