I have been with my boyfriend for more than 10 years. We have created a life together. We have 3 children, 2 are his and my oldest from a previous marriage. He has been more than my boyfriend, and we have said we will marry ‘soon’. Never did I think that he would cheat on me. I saw the signs but ignored them. Then on September 17, he confessed. I made him sleep upstairs and was very angry at him. My mother was also dying at the time and I thought he had more sense than that. Somehow we worked through it. We stayed together and a week later my mother died. I needed him more than ever and we have children, small children who need their father. And I loved him. Then on Dec. 4th, 2012, I saw a text from a girl. He had her name under a male name so that if I saw the call I wouldn’t know it was her. Turns out he forgot to delete the text and he had never stopped having sex with this girl. I put 2 and 2 together and found out that they worked side by side and that is how he was able to keep it going without it looking like he was ever doing anything.
I kicked him out again and we got back together before Christmas. He has sought counseling and has been very apologetic. But what man does this? My mother died and he couldn’t stop having sex with a 25-year-old girl. Oh, he’s 42 and I am 39.
I have had to deal with the death of my mother and the deception of someone who I loved and trusted and thought was my soul mate. Every day I try to pray to hold it together and move past it, but it is sooo hard. I am reading The Four Agreements, and one of the agreements is to never take ANYTHING PERSONALLY. Easier said than done. I am looking for a way out and I feel so weak sometimes.
A TDL Reader