Daily Share – Praying To Hold It Together!

I have been with my boyfriend for more than 10 years. We have created a life together. We have 3 children, 2 are his and my oldest from a previous marriage. He has been more than my boyfriend, and we have said we will marry ‘soon’. Never did I think that he would cheat on me. I saw the signs but ignored them. Then on September 17, he confessed. I made him sleep upstairs and was very angry at him. My mother was also dying at the time and I thought he had more sense than that. Somehow we worked through it. We stayed together and a week later my mother died. I needed him more than ever and we have children, small children who need their father. And I loved him. Then on Dec. 4th, 2012, I saw a text from a girl. He had her name under a male name so that if I saw the call I wouldn’t know it was her. Turns out he forgot to delete the text and he had never stopped having sex with this girl. I put 2 and 2 together and found out that they worked side by side and that is how he was able to keep it going without it looking like he was ever doing anything.

I kicked him out again and we got back together before Christmas. He has sought counseling and has been very apologetic. But what man does this? My mother died and he couldn’t stop having sex with a 25-year-old girl. Oh, he’s 42 and I am 39.

I have had to deal with the death of my mother and the deception of someone who I loved and trusted and thought was my soul mate. Every day I try to pray to hold it together and move past it, but it is sooo hard. I am reading The Four Agreements, and one of the agreements is to never take ANYTHING PERSONALLY. Easier said than done. I am looking for a way out and I feel so weak sometimes.

A TDL Reader

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Bubbles 11

I am so sorry to hear you are going through so much pain right now. While I am not the best with words, just know that I am feeling for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Dkonter

I went through a similar situation about 10 years ago, and I know the devestating pain you’re going through. I can’t imagine that on top of dealing with the death of your mom. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. First of all, I’m glad you realize that there is nothing wrong with you, but instead something is wrong with your boyfriend to behave the way he did. It’s a good sign that he’s going to counseling! Are you going with him? My husband and I went to a marriage counselor, actually it took going to a couple of them before we found one that we liked. Anyhow, through counseling we became stronger and although it was a LONG process, I forgave him for both of our sakes. It seriously took me two years before I could do that. I thought about it constantly, and was bitter for so long. With God’s help and my husband becoming an open book, we made it through and have a wonderful life now, and I’m so happy I gave him a second chance. I know your situation is different, but for me, my husband had to change jobs and never have any contact with the other woman again. He needed to deal with my emotional roller coaster behavior, and answer any and all of my questions. He slowly proved to me that he could be the husband I deserved. Your boyfriend will prove to you with his actions if he’s really willing to change and work at your relationship. I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers. Know that you’re not alone.
Believer

Yo I am praying for you!
anonymous

The “four agreements” also says something to the degree that we will stay in relationships so long as the other person hurts us less that we are willing to hurt ourselves. We will walk away only when they hurt us more than we can tolerate from us hurting ourselves. It seems like it is a message of self reflection and self love. See this as a blessing and an opportunity for you to walk away. I can only empathize with your pain. Nothing happens accidentally, you are exactly where you are supposed to be and you are supposed to learn something from this. Trust that love and support will just show up when you need it because it sounds like you are definitely deserving and worthy of genuine love!

Much love to you
Zmania

Soul mates come together to assist each other in healing what is downloaded into our blueprint. The light body. Most people think soul mates don’t hurt each other but often times we hurt the ones we love the most in a contract before we come into our body. It does not mean you are meant to stay together in this earth time and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reconcile with this man. Take a very close look at how you have allowed yourself to be treated this way and consciously heal this part of your life. Nothing comes to us that we don’t call in. Of course you didn’t consciously ask for it. Understand what sense of self is. Do you have it? Does he? You both have to develop it if your ever want to have a chance to heal and create a committed relationship with this man. You must do your own work on this regardless of what he does. Turn and face how this betrayal sits in your body and where betrayal shows up in an earlier time in your life. Recognize the patterns from your past, your parents, your siblings, friends, work relationships. Are these ancestral wounds? They could even be patterns from past lives you have come to in this point in time to heal so your soul can evolve. If you don’t heal this wound you will attract it over and over again, hand it to your children and bring into your next lifetime. If you heal it, you free yourself, your kids and future generations as well as any ancestors who have past on. Your soul will never experience again here or future lives. The work goes up and down not side to side. If you have siblings they have to do there own work. This work is not for the faint of heart. The time is now. Honor this intense grief and loss. Feel it. Heal it. What is the alternative?
AnonymousT

These kind of men are like germs, and they are everywhere. Instead of destroying them we realize there are needs for co-existence, and that’s why you allow things to happen over and over again…
Wise role models, perhaps not famous, help us learn to live beyond trusting others’ characteristics and actions, but to instill the full confidence in ourselves–with a greater love… If you believe in staying to benefit the children without hurting yourself, you will be able yo do that. If you need to move your life in a different direction, consider the long term benefit and what is a more lasting, living goal. You are not alone.
quiettoebyradio

First let me say how very sorry I am that you lost your Mom. My deepest, deepest sympathy for your loss. Sit quietly in your sorrow for your Mom and your relationship. When you feel a bit stronger I want you to do something for yourself. Go into the kitchen and take out the honey, take a teaspoon and eat it. Taste the sweetness, how it make your mouth and the back of your throat feel wonderful. Now take a teaspoon of fresh lemon juice and drink it. Do you taste it’s tartness? You have no choice but to swallow it quickly. Now, I want you to think about the relationship you have been in over the past 10 years, has it been sweet like the honey or did it remind you of the taste of the lemon? If it has been as sweet as the honey, then do your best to forgive and move on. If it has not, you will know what to do because life is meant to be sweet.