For the past 4 months, I have been trying to let go of past relationships. I have been trying to remember the idea that relationships are assignments and when those assignments are done, we have to be willing and able to let them go so that we are able to receive our next assignment. When I learned this, I felt peace, but there are times when this feels much easier said than done. To let go of a friendship I have had for the past 7 or 8 years is difficult – to see that a group of three has gone to a group of two with me being the odd one out hurts. It hurts deeply. Sometimes I smile though, remembering the good times we shared, the lessons I’ve learned from them, and the attention and care that we showed each other when we were going through hard times. And at other times, I feel let down and I feel that at the time I needed them most, at my rock bottom before I started this journey of love, they abandoned me and wrote me off.
That pain might have led me to this journey of love, of course, so I cannot dismiss it. It’s enabled me to start this journey, really recognize my ego, and return to a place of love and peace. I can thank them for being part of my path, forgive them, forgive myself for the ways I might have hurt the relationship, forgive my ego, and release the relationship to the Universe. All I can think to do is to continue this process – forgiving and releasing. My question is this: does it get easier? Will it get easier when I see the “best friend” tweets and facebook posts showing up on my timeline between them, even when I quickly try to pass by them? Will it get easier when I see plans of trips being made for two when it used to be the three of us planning those things? Will it get easier when I see something that reminds me of them and I want to share it, but then I think about if they would even care? Will it get easier to accept being a casual acquaintance with contact here and there rather than the daily talks?
Does it get easier to release these assignments? When I was in school, when I finished an assignment, I immediately turned it into the teacher without a problem. I wouldn’t hold onto something that was already completed, nor can I now hold onto completed assignments that the Uni-verse has given me. How do I completely let go?
A TDL Reader
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