I’ve enjoyed following your blog and Twitter feed for over a year now. I have not contributed to other’s stories, merely read them and tried to apply their wisdom to my own life.
I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m standing at a fork in the road…one path leads to growth, new experiences (possibly both heartbreak and enrichment) the other road is the one I’ve been on for the bulk of my three decades here on earth. How do you know when to throw something away that is so-so to chase something that may or may not be any better? The grass is greener conundrum.
In the past year, I’ve developed this feeling inside that tells me I need to grow. Up to this point in my life I’ve somehow avoided major heartbreak and general turmoil. I’ve come to realize that those experiences are what allow us to grow as humans…perhaps it’s the true meaning of life. To address this desire to grow, I feel like I need to make some really tough decisions…some of those decisions are sure to cause others pain. And there will be no turning back.
I’ve been married for more than a decade. My wife and I get along really well. We have no children. I feel like we are just good friends and roommates. I am very accommodating by nature and don’t like to ‘rock the boat’ – I always put others before myself. I feel like I’m living her life and not mine. We don’t have a lot of common interests. I usually do what she wants to do just so that we can be together, not necessarily because that’s also one of my interests. However, she does not reciprocate when it comes to my interests. I feel like I need to see what’s out there. I’ve never lived on my own…I’ve always had a woman in my life. Not saying that’s a bad thing, just part of the story.
I think I’ve lived a very ‘safe’ life to this point. And for some reason there is this pull in my stomach that makes me think I need to grow and experience life on my own..like I need to make some mistakes. Maybe I’m crazy. I have a partner in life who is loyal, successful and has been by my side for quite a long time. Am I crazy to throw it all away for selfish reasons? Do I stay and possibly prevent growth and let resentment grow as the years go by? I think that’s only going to create a toxic relationship in the future.
What would you do? Give up the comfort of the known for the fear of the unknown? Risk hurting someone I love and ultimately do care for? All to find my own path….what if it’s a big mistake? Or leads to huge regret?
As with all stories, there are numerous details that have been left out …however the details don’t change the theme. How do we deal with feelings of personal growth while sharing a life with a spouse? Is it ok to be selfish? Comments/experiences greatly appreciated.
I’ll close with a portion from one of my favorite quotes by Alan Cohen …”there is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life and in change there is power.”
A TDL Reader