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Daily Share – Struggling To Put The Past Behind Me And Build Confidence!

February 3, 2013 by 10 Comments

TDL_FB icon2013 is the year that’s going to create movement in my life. I can feel it… I’m just waiting and keeping my eyes and ears open to opportunities. I’ve been living a stale, mediocre, comfortable life for the last 6 years. I’m ready for a change. I’m a marketing coordinator for a community college. I love the everyday tasks of my job, I have flexibility, and I’m very thankful for what I have. It’s just gotten monotonous. We had a leader at my organization that didn’t care and my immediate supervisor was constantly telling me what I’m doing wrong. Leadership has changed and thanks to the Law of Attraction, I now have a new boss that appreciates me and celebrates my accomplishments. I’m still struggling to put the past behind me. Sometimes I feel so down in the dumps that I want to go back home, crawl back in my bed, and make the world go away. I have no motivation to exercise or do things that I know are good for me. In writing this, I’m realizing I’m taking little steps toward improving my situation. I’ve actually started eating healthy again and I scheduled an appointment with a practitioner of Chinese healing arts. I just bought a Mac so I can do freelance design, social media, and other money-makers that will allow me to work from home. I’m still building my confidence back up and I have no clue how to GET STARTED. I know marketing, so I know I can be successful. Most trainings I’ve come across are too spendy for my budget and it’s too high of a risk for me at this time. I volunteer my time with many organizations, planning events. I forget to think about myself and how I can benefit from my skills. I’m finally asking for help. Please help!

A TDL Reader

  • Brandisphelan

    Listen to what the deepest part of you tells you to do. Get quiet and journal and write down what you hear. Don’t be afraid to take a chance to live the life you feel you were meant to live. Take that first step and keep listening for continued direction. Have faith that you will get the information needed after each step to eventually get where you need to go. Don’t lose hope. Keep moving and don’t settle. Find someone to help you get your business started. Have fun on the journey! Bless you!

  • Kellyanne Lyon

    Remember that every small step you take counts on your journey forward. Like you said, you’ve started eating healthy again, you bought a Mac, you scheduled an appointment… those are all steps that you’ve taken to start being the person you want to be. No journey can begin properly until you put one foot out the door. Keep in mind that you’re already morphing. Each and every time you make some small adjustment, it’s part of your transition to becoming the person that you most want to be. Keep making those small steps, and never be discouraged by the speed of your progress or berate yourself for not being in the place that everyone else seems to be.

    My advice is to read. Find people who you look up to in society, or people who are doing things that you think are amazing, or people who are doing something within the realm of what you want to do and read about them. Read about leadership, connections between people, money-making philosophies, books about power, etc. If you read and take notes on everything you read, working to take small steps with each book to bring things that resonate with you into your life more and more… you’ll be unstoppable. Most people read with only half a heart and a quarter of a mind. When you read with a purpose, you’ll be able to bring a wealth of knowledge and information into your life.

    Also, with libraries and second-hand bookstores, books are a lot cheaper than seminars and workshops… although I think those are things you should do too, once you’ve saved enough for them.

  • http://www.billnewgent.com/ Bill Newgent

    Dear TDL Reader,
     I would if you are open to it my offering is that you are holding yourself in a small place in your life. I didn’t say you are small. Clearly you are not. However, you don’t believe what I know about you.You have so much going for you and yet you wait for solutions to come to your life. That might work out…someday…maybe. For sure I am all about the law of attraction and know that we can all manifest into our lives amazing things. You however did not manifest a new boss operating from a place of I can’t stand my old boss I want a new one. I’m pretty sure that’s the place of resentment you were in. I get from your writing that you go to work and then come home and feel sorry for yourself frequently. I get it I have been there myself. Start embracing who you are and how amazing you are. Start with knowing that it is in our nature to be expansive. It is against our nature to live small, to live from a less than perspective. You clearly have enormous talent and ability and you aren’t even 100% in the game. Start finding ways to give what you can do away. Find a struggling business or a non profit that could use some of your skills. Do this without being irresponsible about your job. Give the rest away. You will begin to awaken, you will begin to give love, feel love, and be in contribution to the world. With that comes an openness to possibility. Trust me my friend your possibility is only limited by the limitations you create.So stop waiting, stop being stingy, stand up, and bring it for the benefit of you and the world around you.The world deserves what you are capable of…AND SO DO YOU!!!

  • http://myblog.dolphingrouponline.com Steve Vernon

    One of the most powerful sources inspirations for not only much needed change in my life but for a true sense of contentment for where I am right now has been the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, who constantly reminds us that the past is nothing but thought — a memory.  It no longer exists.  Neither does the future.  It’s not here yet, and when it arrives, it will be now. 

    In order to truly put the past behind us is to finally come to that realization that it really does no longer exists.  It is nothing more than thought.   We have the power to change our thoughts and focus only on those that are beneficial.

    I would highly recommend getting hold of a copy of Tolle’s “The Power of Now” and read it all the way through — not just once but multiple times.  I’m on my third time through right now, and I am constantly amazed at the new things I am discovering.

    I sincerely hope this helps.

    Steve

  • Bevnero

    Dear One,

    <3 I wish you well in all your endeavors.  I relate to your feelings about your life, since I too have felt similar.  My suggestion seems so simple to me now, but I had to learn to breathe, focus on my breath. When it becomes automatic, healthy breathing and focus, I added add a 5 or 10 minute meditation.  Depak Chopra teaches a great one to use.  Do it everyday, at least once, preferably twice.  After a couple of weeks it is much easier to stay in the moment without all the mental chatter.  I am less likely to look back or into the future.

    I make a study of certain words, like, success or equanimity, or concepts like mindfulness, no attachments, non-judgement.  I do it like I am in school.  I research, compare, look at origins.  I read, think, and write.  Love is a great word to examine.

    I use music and sounds like a singing bowl, chime or listen to and say ohm.  I feel the vibrations around my heart.

    I think better, I feel better, my way seems to open before me.  However, I don't think about it.  It just is.

    I believe my first quest is to be the best person I can be and I have to understand what that means . . .  really means.

    I will remember you as you make your way through this life and I wish you well.

  • Sbclapp

    Given that you don’t feel a lot of enthusiasm for work or even getting up in the AM sometimes, it sounds like you might be a bit depressed. A “hack” to help you in all of your endeavors will be to get your mind/body in a better place. You can do this by committing to a single, simple thing  – exercise. Some people need intervention of therapists and the like, but even just exercise helps people with any level of depression. It’ll also improve your cognitive function and your confidence so you’ll be poised for greater success in any endeavor. The fact that you’re eating healthy will make everything easier. Also, the journaling & reading Eckhart Tolle are excellent suggestions for gaining insight, peace, and feelings of joy, all of which will help you to focus, get past obstacles, and be more successful. What’s nice about your current position is that you probably have access to gaining skills, such as business planning, etc., through your workplace. Since it’s a community college, I would start looking at the classes they offer – either for-credit or non-credit. Classes are structured and offer social interaction, so that will help move you forward and connect you to others. If you do want to run your own business, you’ll need a variety of skills. Good luck & just remember that it’s all for the good – the universe will give you what you need to learn and move forward. And remember to be grateful for both the good times and the obstacles that you’ll face along the way.

    • Daniela25

      I know what are you talking about very well, it has been so many years of depression and feeling sorry for myself. Now, I realized that all of the past struggles are for a good reason, and I moved on and feel much better for myself. I did so many things for myself which I had no idea I am capable of. As you know some people come into your life for a reason, and I am sure this is the case in your life with your boss. The only thing I can suggest, is to find deep inside yourself the strength to go back to the person you were before and be strong. I know you can do it because that is how I did it and you can too. Do not look back, the past is gone, and you have no business there any longer. Look ahead and think how beautiful life is now, and you are amazing human being with so many gifts which can change lives.                         

  • Diane

    Eckhart Tolle,yes his books changed my life (you can also listen to many of his inspired talks on youtube); also Neale Donald Walsch is excellent. I wish you well and add my love to all the rest that is coming your way. 

  • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

    I can relate to this post!  I’ve had stable, “good” jobs that just got to feeling monotonous and unfulfilling.  I was miserable, despite making a good living, having a good schedule, and nothing being THAT “wrong.”  What I did I do?  I quit that job.  Really, those jobs – plural.  Whenever a job gets to the point that I dread doing it more often than not, I know it’s time to move on.  Even if everyone else thinks I should stay.  Even if the pay is good.  Even if by all counts, I SHOULD like the job and SHOULD continue doing it.  None of that matters to me.  It’s MY life, and I’ll do what I want (thank you very much).  ;)   

    If you’re wanting to crawl back home and get under the covers more often than you’re actually wanting to be at your job, I think you know it’s time to move on.  Or at the very least, make SOME change.  As you said, you need a change.  Can you perhaps cut down to part-time?  Then you can see if you really like the JOB, you just need more time to yourself.  Or if you really are itching to get out and do something else, then do it!  Go for it!  You’ll be just fine!  I’ve done it time and time again. 

    Live your life for YOU!  Do what makes you happy.  Life is too short to do otherwise. 

    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/02/do-what-you-enjoy.html

  • faunandflora

    Hi TDL reader,  
         I see your skill (marketing) as a toolbox.  If using your tools in and of itself is enjoyable to you then all you need is a project that has personal meaning.  Something that lights your fire.  Don’t bother volunteering for something that you feel nothing for.  Put your tools to use where you’re heart beats a little faster.  Use it to support a cause you believe it.  If whatever you’re doing engages your being in a heartfelt way, there will be no stopping you.

    All my best,

    faunandflora