It’s almost three years since he left. I still feel sad, hurt, and angry. I feel the loss for me and for our kids. He left for the other woman. She’s beautiful, ten years younger than me, more educated, less emotionally damaged and kind and caring from what I hear.
I’ve taken baby steps toward moving, often stalling my healing by jumping into new relationships too quickly with the wrong guys then feeling so discouraged when it doesn’t last. And suffer from another assault on my self-esteem.
People all around me seem happily married, getting engaged, having babies. I hate the envy I feel.
My ex and the other woman are playing out a wonderful love story. And two weeks ago I found out they are engaged and planning to start a family ASAP. My son is upset, he can’t imagine that he doesn’t have a dad full-time, but his dad’s future children will. And I have plummeted into a deep hole of grief, jealousy, so hurt. I have barely left my home since I found out, only for work. The thoughts consume me all the time, sad hateful vengeful thoughts.
I have a great nursing job that I would not have gotten if he never left. And the compassionate care of my patients has helped me heal. I have a house, after moving apt to apt for my kids’ lives, and I did that on my own. I have amazing new friends.
I ask The Uni-verse every day to help me let go. I’m tired, tired of feeling sad.
A TDL Reader