Daily Share – Trying To Get Over Him

TDL_FB-iconI am still trying to get over I bad break up. I went to go visit my now ex-boyfriend after talking and texting for about a year. We live very far from each other and I took a plane to him in April and spent nine days with him. I was so in love with him, I still do love him.

We talked about everything, even getting married and having children. He even asked me to move in with him, and he kept telling me that he couldn’t see himself without me. But the day that I got home from seeing him he stopped answering my calls and texts. I was worried that maybe something happened to him, so I sent one more text just making sure that he was okay. He sent a message back saying that he had a lot on his mind, and that he was going through a period of self-isolation.

He told me that he wasn’t talking to anyone and that it wasn’t just me.

However, three days later I got a text from him saying that he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, he couldn’t be in a long distance relationship, and that he was sorry.

All the promises that he made to me were broken in that single text, and my heart shattered along with them. He hasn’t spoken to me since and I can’t fight the feeling that I feel stupid. I thought everything was okay, and when I left him in the airport told he told that he loved me, and that he would miss me.

Now I feel like it was all a lie, and I had to have done something wrong. Even though he hurt me, I still want him back, but that is never going to happen.

I know that people say that there are other pebbles on the beach, but I doesn’t seem like any of those pebbles are meant for me…

A TDL Reader

  • Roxanne Ramirez

    I know how you feel….it is hard to get over someone that you are in love with after they have let you go bit trust in God that he will heal your heart and soul. I am learning to accept it and even though some days are harders than others but just trust God and he will make your life better. I hope my word comfort you a little in this hard time. Let God heal you.

  • Amy McCoan

    Trust me when i say i KNOW exactly how you feel! My situation was “same same but different”. Only it lasted 7 years. After my failed engagement on a plane to Bali i sent out a prayer to the universe “Dear Universe, Please send me a situation to know that i am making the right decision and that i am on the right path. Make it so undeniable that i cannot miss it and please send it in such a loving fashion that i can let go of my past with ease and that i am no longer angry, sad and hurt” 5 days in Bali, i met THE most amazing man. And while him and i might not turn it into a relationship i had the most amazing 10 days with a man i have EVER had in my entire 28 years of existence. It showed me that there is someone right out there for me and that not all men are like our ex. He showed me love, trust, and restored my faith in the fact that life can go on in the most beautiful of ways. Something in me shifted, i saw my ex for what his character really is (a liar), realized that it wasn’t congruent in what i hold dear, and now no matter how hard i try i cannot even bring myself to remember what i felt about him and why i wanted to marry him.
    I can imagine you will be sad, but please i beg you DO NOT feel stupid! The best advice i can give you is do not take it PERSONALLY. Your ex is the one who isn’t ready, and ( i dont know the full back story) but i feel like he’s just keeping you on a pretty good hook. Cut all contact (yes it will suck) but take this opportunity to figure out what your values are and what you will and won’t put up with and go from there. I promise you, writing you from the other side of an emotional abusive relationship- there is so much light on the other side. Please dont give up hope. You are beautiful, radiant and worth so much more. You deserve better.
    I love you!