Daily Share – Want To Accept My Mistakes And Move On!

I believe I’m trying to break a pattern. It’s been difficult for me to talk about this, but in my younger days my mother would tell me such hurtful things when she was displeased with me. As I got older I realized she didn’t really mean those things, but how did I find out? I myself picked up the habit. Soon enough I realized that what my mom was doing to me, her mom did to her.

The greatest test of all of this was when I met my last boyfriend. There was something about him that made me feel unsafe and insecure. I never truly felt loved and fulfilled with him. Whenever he did something I didn’t like, I saw it as the end of the world…and I’d spew out such hurtful and hateful comments, only to regret those 2 seconds later. We finally broke up after him breaking my trust and revealing the details of a private conversation we had to a friend. I was so hurt that I hit him with a barrage of insults. I pushed him further and further away.

Now we hardly speak, and he refuses to see me. It hurts because I entered such rage and I know I hurt him in turn. It hurts that I may have squandered love. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him again, but I’ve burned a bridge and it feels like there isn’t an ash to show.

What I want is to conquer my fear, my guilt and my regret. I want to accept my mistakes and move on.

A TDL Reader

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Moren

Hang in there, learn the lesson, forgive yourself.
catcchurch

Read The Four Agreementsby don Miguel Ruiz. It will jump start your vehicle of change.
Nicole

What you shared is something I have been working through myself - verbatim. I have thought about writing to TDL, but have not been able to find the words to fully express how I’ve been feeling.

Thank you for writing and sharing even though it is difficult for you.

Something I’ve learned through this website is that everything we experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. Be gentle with yourself as you go through this process. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. We have all acted in ways we wish we hadn’t or said things we wish didn’t say. You have already had a beautiful breakthrough in recognizing a painful family pattern. You have taken a significant step in healing by sharing and reaching out to others. I wish you much love and support as you continue on your path to forgiveness, acceptance and peace.

I’m rooting for you! I’m rooting for me! And best of all, the Uni-verse is rooting for us all.
Sindhujaa Kumar

It helps to take a step back when triggered, instead of reacting immediately. It helps to call for time off, and go for a short walk to gain some clarity. If certain words have to be said to the person, that can wait. Whether you want to reprimand someone, or dig deeper to figure out YOUR role in the game and then respond in a manner more beneficial to everyone invovled -A FEW MOMENTS DELAY CAN BE AFFORDED. So that you can express yourself more truly and fully. And create space for understanding.

If you can choose your friends/partner coming from a place where you know what you need, and you KNOW you deserve to be fulfilled – you will attract people who are perfect for your journey. Taking time every day to center yourself will help you move ahead in this direction.

You are aware of your pattern. That’s a step forward. I’m sure you’ll now do what it takes to love yourself first, so that you don’t look for offense in other people’s words/actions towards you. And even if that’s what’s coming- you’re confident and strong enough to brush it aside, send them peace and move along.

Wish you all success, love and happiness.