Daily Share – Want To Be Loved Unconditionally!

January 28, 2013 by Anonymous TDL Reader 19 Comments

Another day has passed by in a blur. Another day survived. Alone. Yes, maybe like some lost souls out there, I belong to those who barely exist to live. Welcome to my life. A life like anybody else’s. Sometimes tragic. Sometimes happy. Usually alone.

I’m 26-years-old soon to be 27 this end of May. I have been 100% single for more than 2 years now after an almost 6 year relationship with a man that I have loved and in a very hard decision, have let go. I don’t regret it though. That episode of my life has to be put to an end after how many times and years of deceit. Even halfway through the relationship when I first considered letting go, I’ve always thought – is there really someone out there for me that God has already drawn in my destiny?

Now I’m in that kind of dilemma once more. Well honestly, since it has blown into proportions, I’ve actually been depressed deep inside. A lot of times I loathe myself of my appearance, my weight and my economic status. How many times have I actually daydreamed that maybe there’s still hope for me that there is really someone out there bound to understand me, to accept me as me and love me regardless of how ugly I am or how big my waistline is? But as frequent as those silly daydreams go, the self-pity and depression overpowers afterwards.

How many times have I put Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way”, Jessie J’s “Who You Are” and Katy Perry’s “Firework” on repeat just to try to make myself feel better and try to accept the ME…

Tonight as I lie on my bed, under the comfort of a blanket and a giant Nemo stuffed doll, the pain, sorrow and depressions ebbs back once more that I could hardly breathe… I’m so sick and tired of being alone… I just wanna be like most people out there who are loved unconditionally, whole-heartedly….honestly.

I really wanted to be a wife, a mother but as how it’s going right now, I might as well as just be daydreaming once more. HELP.

A TDL Reader

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Fran_q

Can you find the courage to go and be of service to semeone today, any service, look to be of service even if it is giving a smile to a person who you don’t know, help someone across the street, open a door for someone……it usually helps me on a bad day, I really can relate to your lonelinessl….goood luck …
<3

Being a wife and mother isn’t all you are meant to be even if its what you want. Your success in those roles will depend completely upon the woman you are when you take on those roles. Being someone’s wife will not validate you nor will being a mother. Give all that you imagine giving to someone else to yourself. Bring forth your joy and spirit. Also, remember that a woman’s waistline doesn’t make her attractive. Skinny chicks have relationship issues too. I understand our society only values thin womn as being attractive to look at but here’s the good news…you can change your weight. Do that by just being healthier and not so much to be “skinny” but your heart if its golden will always be golden! Let that shine through. Life will not be better because we are skinnier or have more money. Make your life amazing as you are right now and the rest will be an overflow of the love you will already have for you! I’m wishing you so much happiness, joy and love!
Cartysgirl

I read your story and wanted to tell you not to give up hope. I went thru a similar situation as yours however mine lasted 14 years. Half way thru it all, I found he was cheating on me. He came back saying sorry etc..I knew he was still seeing her. My attitude though was if he was dumb enough to pay, I was dumb enough to stay. We were not married. We lived together. Long story short, we are now apart. His girlfriend and I have talked since then. she had kicked him out during one of the times he came back to me. I then realized what my problem was. I had no self love. she was kicking him out and when I first found out about it, I was saying why don’t you still love me and what did I do wrong? Since then, I have looked back on other relationships and see the same thing. If you, take the time and tell yourself you are worthy, beautiful and deserving of love, you will find your soul mate. He will see your positive attributes. Love yourself and they will flock to you I promise. God bless you and know that you are loved.
- Jules
  
  Great advice Cartysgirl. I am worthy, beautiful and deserving of love. Put that line on the front page of my journal this morning. I too have been staying in a long term relationship that has been a challenge for me. But I have looked at it in a different way in the past couple years. This person who I still care very deeply for as actually been my awakener. My teacher, my soul seeker. He opened some wounds that weren’t healed from my childhood by his behaviour but of course he didn’t know it. Everything about me comes from me. After 6 years into this and because he is away for an extended period of time, I am left with me and it’s during these weeks with him away I am really taking the time to see what will be at the end of the path when he returns as I was always clinging to the hope that this was the one. I realize there is no One. I am the one, I haven’t paid attention to me because frankly I haven’t taken the time. With a daily yoga practice, reading on this site and listening to the Power of Now on youtube an hour a day because it is 7 hours long it is helping me to open up to myself and see what I am truly made of. I know that my inner guide is giving me nudges as I take this time for me. We as a society are afraid to take time just for ourselves to listen to our inner voice to smile openly and show the World around us we are good enough just the way we are. So my advice is the same as yours…the line I am worthy, beautiful and deserving of love. Hugs to those who may not get one today…(HUGS)
Linda Graziano

You are beautiful just as you are…. Accept yourself….give the love you want from others to yourself. Learn to love YOU for no other reason than that you exist. I have experience with severe depression, so I know how you are feeling. What has helped me is to value the things about myself that are my gifts…. You are talented, special, wise, and gifted. In order to discover your gifts (and your life purpose), ask yourself these 3 questions: 1) What am I doing when I feel joyful? 2)What am I best at? 3)What does the world need now? Follow your bliss…I know right now you are down on yourself, but try to think of the things that you are doing when you are happiest…..and follow that. Do those things more…. Realize that your happiness comes from YOU. Don’t expect others to make you happy. You can do that yourself by just changing your attitude. Know that you are loved …. Now you have to just love yourself. Take some quiet time each day and take a deep breath and think of all that you have to be grateful for in your life. Focus on the positive. I wish you much happiness and love!
Char

Dear TDL Reader,
If you want to be a wife, a mother, a person who is unconditionally loved- I believe you will be one. We too often allow ourselves to be consumed by disappointment for the things we have yet to achieve. In doing so, we too often prevent ourselves from having the things we want most. Although you may not be living them now your dreams are potential realities. Don’t let go of your dreams. Don’t let your dreams be “just dreams” forever. Believe in them and their source (YOU!). Love yourself unconditionally for the things you are now. Sending you lots of love!
http://www.facebook.com/debb.williams2 Debb Williams

The dreams we have for our life sometimes have to die in order for them to live. And it’s not an easy dying. It’s not so much that our dreams are not going to happen, but that we get to find a place where we are all right and content if they don’t happen. For me, my singleness has been a journey of discovering how to know that the life I live right now, in this moment, is complete and okay. I had to ask myself, ” What is my lesson in this? I keep ending up here over and over again!” It is that I’m not ready to be my best in a relationship….yet. So the journey continues on till I get it.
Jill H

dear reader,

you can have the unconditional love you seek as you are the one who holds the key to that lock. To me, it sounds like you need a little bit more patience with yourself to heal from the separation from your ex. It is ok to cry and feel sad, but try find one thing a day that makes you feel happy like REALLY happy. soon you will be doing things all the time that make you happy. concentrate on YOU first and the rest will fall into place around you. even if you have to be grateful for being able to take an inhale and an exhale, be grateful for THAT! You are only 26 and you don’t need to aspire to what society says is “normal”. aspire to what YOU think is normal which may be not a thing like anyone else’s idea and that is AWESOME!!! you must remain faithful to your dreams, when you give up hope is when you lose the possibility. you have to believe, believe, believe.

(if it makes you feel any better, my old relationship lasted 4 years. he was MARRIED within 5 months of my moving out and that was almost 4 years ago and it was the BEST thing that could have ever, ever, ever happened to me. EVER. but it’s not been a pageant the whole time. I have cried a LOT and spent a LOT of time alone being comfortable with me. if I can do it so can you!!!)
Mya

FIRST you must love yourself unconditionally!!! I share in your pain, I’ve been in your position many times over…but when I finally decided to give myself the unconditional love I deserved I stopped worrying myself to death and started living. How can someone give you their all when you don’t give yourself the love that you deserve?? I’ve been single for over 5 years, I had a child with a man who was unfaithful, dealt with some unworthy characters following that relationship…but I recently committed myself to God again and seeking Him first before everything. Once you put your wordly desires (money, wanting to be thin. having a man, etc.) to the side and receive God’s love, trust me your life will change in abundance and God will place that right person in your life to fulfill your heart’s desires. Just be patient, you are still young. If I knew what I know now I would have waited for what GOD wanted for me, and not what I wanted for myself. He will supply all your needs if you just wait on Him. Good luck and God Bless!!
http://twitter.com/LivingUrBliss Bliss Magazine

My dear
You are a creature of the universe with infinite potential. Beautiful, precious and with a great gift to share with the world. You are worth that and so much more but first you have to believe that you are worthy of receiving those things you seek. You see no one will ever give to you what you can not give to yourself.
First, take the time to give to yourself, to nourish and feed your self both in mind and in spirit. Second, look for the beauty in everything. Make it a conscious decision to look for those moments that make you feel love, happy and joyful. Laugh like you have never laughed before and sing in the shower. Third, is the most important thing, show gratitude. Give thanks for being a live, for waking up in the morning with both your hands and feet. Be grateful for the beating of your heart, for your thick curves and the functioning of every organ, cell and molecule in your body.
Gratitude is a multiplier. What ever it is you are grateful for expands and you receive more of it. Focus on those things that bring you joy, love and happiness and the universe will have no choice but to bring to you people, events, and circumstances that bring you joy, love and happiness.
Cee

You beautiful soul, you have so much to give to the world! There’s so much that you can do with this opportunity that you have been given. Just because you are alone right now does not mean that your life is useless. That you are useless. You matter, and just being you right now is enough. Try focusing on the present. Give your full self to everything that you do each day. Even if work sucks, or being alone sucks. By being present and aware to your life you will be able to be your true self and others will notice that. They’ll notice your happiness and joy that you have for your life and yourself. If you want to revamp your appearance, do it because you want to, for you, for your wellbeing but not for a man. You don’t have to be a certain size or look a certain way to be deserving of love. You already are loved because you were created from love. No one can take that away from you. Love is the only thing that is real. Fear, doubt, anxiety, those are just things that our mind(ego) makes up to cover up who we really are. We are love.

I wish you nothing but love and the best in this journey!
Misslightfootmba

if you want unconditional love, you HAVE to give it to yourself FIRST. its a rough journey to 100% self acceptance and self love but you can get there! i work on it every single day!!! just like with anything else, practice makes “perfect” but in this instance, practice makes LOVE! If it makes you feel better, I LOVE YOU and I dont even know you. I love you as a person, a spirit, one that deserves all of the GOOD things that life has to offer you
Hrhpgb

I think we fool ourselves into thinking that everyone else outthere has or is something that we want. Focus on being ok with yourself first – you will not be ok with someone else until then. Once i made a list of everything I was ever interested in learning, doing, or just curious about. This helped me develop me and helped me stay busy with things that meant something to me. Give yourself permission to make a mistake everyday – in fact make a point of it – then forgive yourself and try to laugh or at least smile about making that small goal. There are many ways to not be alone and this includes being your own best friend and finding the many ways that we connect with others even if only for the briefist of moments. Open a door for someone, offer to help someone get an item off a shelf – when others do same for you acknowledge your gratefulness and the moment of connection. Alone is not a four letter word.
RCJ

Read Ekhart Tolle, The Power of Now and “meditate”, and pay attention to what the other commenters said, it’s all true.
http://www.valuedeals.co.in/ Prabhakaran Krishnan

Well to #love our self we need not go beyond our self, whereas to love others we have to go beyond our self . To go beyond our self we have to be selfless. That’s the only way how love can be unconditional!
Jmnovak1

Dear one — your pain comes through with your words and oh how I’d like to offer some bit of wisdom that would help. I don’t know you. I don’t know the path that led you look at the world this way. I sense desperation from you and, like you, I have been there before. For everyone that is offering the advice to love yourself, I agree wholeheartedly. But you may be wondering when and how does that happen? For those who have no awareness of the what and how’s of self-love, it can be one more thing to feel you’ve failed about. But, sweet one, you’ve not failed at anything. You are learning and some learning comes with pain. Be gentle with yourself. Offer yourself patience as a gift. Though you feel alone, you are not. The Uni-verse is there for you … it wants you to surrender your burdens to it so it can help the healing process. Ironically, the way to get what you want is seldom by being desperately attached to it. Release the desperation. Release the attachment. Allow the Uni-verse to be your love for now … it will show you the way to self love … and in its perfect timing, it will release more and more love into your life. Your perfect future may or may not look as you have imagined; but know this: it will be perfect.

Wishing you peace and much love on your journey,
Janette
janabanana

Well I am giving advice (which I need to actually follow also:) ). You stated that you wanted to be a wife and mother, well why not volunteer in those areas? Being busy is the best for not dwelling on what one doesn’t have. Volunteer for meals on wheels or as a big sister. I am a firm believer in a person is out there for you. One must get out and “Do” and not wait for them to fall into their lap. Finding someone while you are doing what you love, I think is the most wonderful serendipity. Good luck to you and to me and to all who are seeking love
Silent Mind

When you are low, depressed and questioning about why you are not fulfilled in your life; this time could be the one of the most crucial open spaces for you to shed some old skin (self belief patterns) and actually achieve real growth. This is an opportunity for you to rediscover yourself and try to learn new ways and behaviors that bring you joy, especially that you don’t feel there is anyone around to help you feel better about a situation. This is your opportunity to make long term changes and improvements, give yourself the chance to take a new class, try something you may have desired yet were afraid of doing, take a road trip, whatever your heart desired that you have not yet tried. You deserve to be happy like anyone else, so give yourself that chance to create your own joy.. it takes work, awareness and above all it takes commitment. Do it, you are worth it
Saima_daar

There are many people in relationships who still feel alone and neglected. You need to explore opportunities/activities that give you happiness and give you meaning/purpose/direction. Have you thought about taking some time out from the mundane and getting involved in these volunteering projects abroad. Do you have an exceptional kill that you could offer the world? Just some things to think about.