This morning I woke up with huge pain in my neck. I first blamed the pillow, which was the first initial outside circumstance beyond my control, since I was staying at a new place. But the night before I had been with my husband’s family and as I was watching the family interacting with the two children that were around. I felt all kinds of things come up for me which I did not give myself time to process before bed, so it all got stuck in my body and stored for me to process this morning.
I decided I would do a technique I do called NPR on myself. That was a little helpful as I started to find the root cause for the neck issue. I found anger in me for not feeling empowered. Mostly anger at the people around me as I was a child growing up. I remember not getting the opportunities I so wanted to experience to help me grow into an empowered adult.
Next, I held my neck with my hands tuning into my body’s messages. I remembered Louise Hay saying for the neck, stubbornness and not seeing other peoples side or viewpoint, so I gently asked myself am I being stubborn, and if so why? My body answered with lots of emotions coming to the surface anger, frustrated, sadness, and grief.
After I was done listening to my body, then I decided to meditate. I still had significant pain left at this point. I was doing a mantra and at the same time communing with my body’s messages and what I can only assume is my higher self and or my angels and guides. All this information started to flow.
I felt a separation in my vertebrae and went into it to feel it deeply. The message came that I was separating myself from the people I was with last night by making my ideas about raising children right and theirs wrong. The separation was causing me pain and I felt alone, angry and misunderstood. I was just being myself doing the things I do with kids, but it was so different than what everyone else did. I started to feel myself further and further away from others and not connected to them, which in turn made me feel disconnected to myself.
There was a vast ocean between me and them getting bigger the more I thought I was right and they were wrong. Then all the sudden it hits, I am separating myself from them with this belief that I know what’s better and they don’t. I’m causing myself pain with my thinking of disparity about the children of the world and how they will not be able to take care of themselves and do what they came here to do if they are continued to be raised in such a “dis-empowering” way.
My judgments were overpowering me with high and mighty thinking! Then peace hit me. aA smile formed on my face as I saw with clarity. I didn’t have to feel separate, I didn’t have to be alone, and there was a reason I was able to be here and accept all the people around me and that we are all one. They have all different parts of themselves that are educated in different ways as well as I do.
When I can open myself up to learn from them and learn to see them as channels of The Uni-verse through which I can learn and gain knowledge that they will be able to reach through me the same way. I’m understanding that we are all equal channels to The Uni-verse’s infinite knowledge and support.
A beautiful friend sent this to me once…
…changes in my life will take place when I begin to realize that the very efforts put forth to become holy or righteous become the barriers that prevent it from happening!
A TDL Reader