“You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation. You’ve pointed out my flaws again…as if I don’t already see them. I walk with my head down trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you. I just wanna feel okay again. I’ll bet you got pushed around…somebody made you cold. But the cycle ends right now, cause you can’t lead me down that road. Someday I’ll be livin’ in a big old city…and all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me…and all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Why you gotta be so mean?” ~Taylor Swift
The Single Woman Says:
Dear Mean Girls of the World,
It seems that lately, you have been everywhere I look. Either you are increasing in ranks or my eyes are being opened to the fact that regardless of how positive a person you are, there’s always going to be someone negative to come along and try to knock you down into the dirt with them. As women, we get a bad rap sometimes for being catty, petty, jealous and just plain mean. We fight against this stereotype, and some of us even work to defeat this stereotype all together, yet you, mean girls, perfectly illustrate this stereotype and breathe new life into an old problem. Why must you always be on the attack? Is it because once upon a time, someone hurt you so deeply, that now you feel the need to strike out at others to make yourself feel better? Is it a cry for help? For attention? For validation? Or are you really just MEAN?
Whatever the case, mean girls, I would urge you to step back and pause for a minute before unleashing your next stream of cruelty on women who, for the most part, you have never met or know very little about. I would ask you to take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really in a position to be judging anyone else (and the answer to that, unless you are Jesus and have achieved perfection, is always going to be NO). I would ask you to remember that we are all a lot more alike than you might think. We are all struggling to fit in and to lose ten pounds and to cover up that embarrassing blemish and to smile from the right angle so that crooked tooth doesn’t show and to wear our most flattering pair of jeans that makes our butt look smaller, which might just be from Target instead of Nordstrom…but the price tag on our outfit says nothing about the price tag on our WORTH. It doesn’t make you look bigger to make others look smaller. It doesn’t make you skinnier to talk about how fat someone else is. It doesn’t make you prettier to talk about how ugly someone else is. (Actually, it makes you look pretty ugly yourself). And it doesn’t make you fit in to laugh at someone else for standing out. Yes, it might make you fit in better with other mean girls, but is that really the company you want to keep?
Try on compassion, and grace and kindness for size today. They truly are one-size-fits-all qualities that flatter ANY shape. Give your fellow women a break today…or better yet, a boost. Realize that we are ALL fighting the same battle…and if we join forces, we just might find victory.
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Mandy Hale is the Founder of @TheSingleWoman.