Beware of the word “friend.” It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I’m picking friends, I like the ones who don’t make me cry myself to sleep.
– Greg Behrendt
The Single Woman Says:
I received an email this morning from a very sweet reader of mine who is roommates with her “best guy friend,” except they also dated at one point and are still sleeping together and she’s still in love with him, only now he’s also dating someone else and didn’t have the guts to tell her til she walked in on him with the other girl and caught him red-handed. Does that sound like a run-on sentence? That’s because the RELATIONSHIP is a run-on sentence! I don’t say that to be harsh, but to be real. Ladies, it is VITAL to know when to put the period on the end of the sentence and close the book. No “friendship” is worth raking yourself over the coals and having your heart re-broken every single day. To my friend who sent me the email, I would say: 1) Move out. Immediately. 2) Reevaluate your definition of the word “friend.” 3) Make some new friends, who actually fit the definition of the word “friend” and aren’t hooking up with you one night and skeezing on random chicks the next.
Here’s the bottom line: If a man isn’t into you anymore, he’s not into you anymore, and staying in his proximity, acting like his BFF, cozying up to his friends and family, doing his laundry, walking his dog, drawing his nightly bubble baths for him, etc., etc., are not going to magically make him wake up and realize the error of his ways. PLEASE, ladies, I implore you…get back in touch with your DIGNITY. Do not lower yourself to becoming an indentured servant, a stalker, or “one of the guys” just to try and stay in any man’s line of sight. MOVE ON. I don’t wanna hear how “he’s such a great friend” or “I know he still cares about me” or “He still has my CD’s” or any other nonsense of the sort. A REAL friend would care enough about you to let you go, to make it CLEAR that the relationship was over, and to not stay in this perpetually hazy, gray, relationship purgatory with you just to keep a warm body around for lonely nights. And here’s a “friend” you seem to be ignoring – YOU. Be your own best friend. THAT’S the friend you need to be worried about in this scenario. Take care of HER heart and HER needs and HER feelings…and let the faux friends GO. Remember: True love shouldn’t require Windex to be clear. It either is or it isn’t!
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Mandy Hale is the Founder of @TheSingleWoman.