Most people, whether they’re overweight or not, are waiting for the “deal with your death” diet. You know, the one that comes when you doctor tells you about your blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease or cancer. It’s an emergency, and from fear, maybe, you start eating better and exercising. PLEASE DO NOT WAIT FOR THAT. Handel proposes the “Deal with Your Life” Diet. Why am I calling it that? Because you can’t really make your body healthy without dealing with making your mind, spirit and relationships healthy. And by the same token, if you deal with your body, you will be dealing with your LIFE. It’s inevitable, because the two are inextricably linked. Your relationship with your body is your relationship with yourself and thus, in my opinion, your most important relationship.
Here are the premises I am asking you to go with, for now:
1) Your relationship with your body is deep, profound, spiritual and important.
Instead of hating that you have a body, or tolerating a body/health that doesn’t meet your honest standards, how about you recognize that having a body is a precious gift? Yes, you’ve made mistakes, possibly even been cruel to yourself, but people make mistakes. It’s time to start making amends with your body and therefore your soul. It will change everything.
2) It’s nobody else’s job to make your relationship with your body great.
Blame is a way to avoid feeling things we don’t want to feel. Often under excess weight are feelings of fear, sadness and longing. Since we don’t want to feel, we eat and we blame. We blame other people for serving the food or offering. We blame our up-bringers for not teaching us better habits, more awareness, self-love or giving us better genes. We blame our culture or society for not being supportive of our health and body goals. This will NEVER make us happy. When you decide, once and for all, that loving your body is your mission, and it’s a good thing, you will be freer, happier and more powerful.
3) What you eat and how you exercise has everything to do with how you think and feel – and you have control over these things.
The brat that lives in your brain doesn’t want you to figure out that your control of what you put in your mouth and how you exercise is completely your own. You aren’t up against outside factors, you are up against your own mind and you have complete control over your mind, just like you have complete control over your hand (that feeds your face).
4) The discipline you attain by consciously choosing healthy food and exercise will strengthen all other areas of your life.
Once you learn to manage your mind to stop undermining your dreams and you choose exactly what your hand puts in your mouth, you cannot help being conscious to the fact that all choices are yours. Suddenly you are bolder at your job, in dating, with your loved ones, because you know you have abundant power. Your confidence increases when you can trust yourself to do the right thing, even if it is something as seemingly insignificant as skipping dessert. When you learn to take care of your physical self, you will no longer tolerate NOT taking care of yourself in other ways and areas.
So what does it mean to “deal with your life” and how does the diet force you to?
1) You make real change in your LIFE-style, not just restrict yourself for a limited time. Yup, the Handel diet tells you yes foods and no foods. It’s pretty simple – you just change what you eat. There isn’t counting calories or points, so you still have an endless mental negotiation about what you “deserve” or would taste best or what you can afford or save up for. You can eat unrestricted of a lot of things, but all the things are healthy so you start to get a taste for healthy things. You are learning a new healthy way to live, not temporarily starving yourself or eating in some fad way.
2) You learn to run the conversation in your mind, not just so you’ll choose an apple over a cookie, but so that you’ll actually learn to respect and even love that apple.
3) You deal with “the brat.” You learn to say “no” to yourself, even when you have a really good reason: you “deserve” that muffin or “everyone else is doing it.”
4) You deal with “the chicken,” aka your real fears. You learn what you are really afraid of that the fat or addiction or control or preoccupation is a cover up for. You face your family, past and relationship issues once and for all.
5) You deal with abuse. If you had abuse in your past that you never examined, talked about and healed, you grow up and get willing to do just that.
6) You deal with what you don’t say and stuff down. You discover and implement a method for having difficult conversations, based on past hurts as well as everyday issues, so that you never feel the need to eat in order to avoid a situation or a feeling. You feed your soul by making peace with yourself and others and this make you less “hungry.”
7) You deal with your career. This diet causes a sudden increase in confidence, which will force you to either take it up a notch in your career or re-think in general if you are fulfilling your real life’s purpose.
8) You deal with your relationships. It can’t be helped; you making radical changes in your body and life will cause everyone else to have to examine their relationship with you and their own issues they’ve been avoiding. Everyone elevates and sometimes a few people fade away or part ways.
9) You clean up your life. Step by step everything in your life that isn’t consistent with your highest ideals for yourself is reckoned with and righted. It is not an infinite list, as we fear. You actually have a finite list of things in your life that block you and keep you stuck. Let us help you make and start handling the list.
10) You tell the truth. You won’t be able to help it. The food plan teaches you black and white, yes and no. It teaches you to manage the voices in your head. You will be dealing with your honest dream every day and you will become a person who is comfortable with the truth.
11) You live by your own standards. Starting with food and exercise, you will live a lifestyle dictated by personal integrity, which means living in accordance with your true high standards. Once you’ve mastered one area, you will take the tools into all the others.
Everything that comes from you cleaning up your diet is good: for your body, your happiness, your loved ones and the whole planet even! Begin loving your body right now and living a better life, because you can and because you want to.
P.S.- If my list scares you, don’t worry. Join me every Monday for Wake Up Your Week, my weekly teleseminar series, to begin building your integrity. And if you are a fitness or health professional dying to share these concepts with the world, Life Coaching Meets the Health and Fitness Industry is for you.
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Laurie Gerber is President of Handel Group® Life Coaching, an international coaching company, which specializes in teaching individuals to take focused and powerful action in every area of their lives. You can connect with Laurie on Facebook at HG Life Coaching.