Upon arriving to India, someone told me that they felt some energy blocking my heart. That I was holding something back. I could also feel that this was true. I wanted to spend time alone and hide, since I was feeling too sensitive to be seen. I wanted to protect my energy, and kept feeling the desire to slouch instead of allowing my chest to be open. There are ebbs and flow in life and it is important to trust your intuition when you feel the need to close yourself off. But you must also ask what that feeling is trying to tell you. There may be something that needs to come up and be healed.
I knew there was something I needed to look at, so I took a bike ride to see where the road would take me. I ended up in sitting in a school yard watching kindergartener’s play. I am staying in an eco-conscious town called Auroville in India; there is a freedom here that allows you to go be wherever you want. I saw and heard the children playing and they seemed very happy. This made me think of myself as a small child. I had not thought of my childhood in many years, as I always try to live in presence.
When I was a little girl I was so sensitive that I would cry every day, literally every day. My parents moved around all the time and I went to over twenty schools before even starting high school. I was always the new girl and I often would go hide and cry in bathrooms. I was so shy and did not want to be seen; I felt so alone, like everyone was judging me. In looking into the feeling of wanting to close myself off, I saw that it came from my childhood.
A few days later I went to a very sacred place for meditation. In this place I felt a rush of love and compassion wash over me. I felt that many people are afraid to shine their light. Afraid to be seen as they are really are. That is the feeling that had made me want to close off my energy. In that moment of divine stillness and peace, I heard: do not be afraid of your light being seen, it is the light of the Uni-verse.
The brilliance in every one of us is the Uni-verse, yet we are somehow afraid to shine the Uni-verse’s light. The light that is in you is the light that is in me. There is nothing to fear. Whatever your talent or form of self-expression, let it be seen! This allows the Uni-verse to be seen. We are the divine children of the Uni-verse; underneath the illusion of this human experience is Oneness.
Something has happened to us all at one point or another that has made us shut a part of ourselves down. We are afraid to shine the light within us, as if it would be rejected. How could the light of Spirit be rejected? There is no way to reject the light that is within us all, we are united in this light. In the illusion on earth it seems as though we are all separate. This is where the fear comes from – fear that your “separate” light and energy may be rejected. Your light is not isolated; it is the one light of the creator. The Creator’s light cannot be rejected. When you shine the light of Spirit within you it awakens others to the light within them. This encourages them to shine and to be themselves!
How would your life be different if you allowed yourself to be seen for what you truly are?
I pray that we, the divine children of the Uni-verse, awaken our self-love and compassion to see the divinity within ourselves and all.
Hillary Pike is certified in Kundalini Yoga, Prenatal Yoga and is a meditation instructor.
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