Don’t Quit When Things Get Hard!

January 30, 2013 by Jenna Hall 23 Comments

I’ll be honest – this blog was hard for me to write.

Like, really, stupid hard.

I have a pattern that I’m giving my ALL to breaking right now – and that is: stopping when things get hard.

While I knew this was a pattern of mine, I just recently began waking up to just how often I do it – and I decided it had to go. And, as with most things – when we declare to the Uni-verse that we’re ready to change things up – it conspires to meet us and gives us opportunities to make a new choice. And while that sounds really beautiful, it doesn’t always feel or look so great.

I won’t lie, it hasn’t been totally fun. However, I’m committed to tackling them one by one. This is one time I’m putting my stubbornness to good use. Esther Hicks said that stubbornness means you have the ability to focus – but the question is what are you focusing on? When I heard that I was like, “IS THERE NO PLACE FOR ME TO HIDE?” I believe there are many places to hide, but none that bring you happiness.

So, I’m committed. Now what?

Wait for the opportunity (aka stuff gets hard) and then push through (do said hard thing).

For example, in the past 5 days:

- I wrote my blog early and then broke my computer. Like, dropped it broke it. I was so upset with myself for breaking it and feeling guilty that I was tempted to let my resistance convince me to just “forget it for the week.”

- Our really dear friend, Jody Sherman, died. Mastin wrote an incredible blog about him and I thought: “How could I even think about writing something that doesn’t honor this wonderful man?” My resistance told me that no matter what I did, it didn’t matter. (Nice, huh?)

- A client I started working with turned out to love coaching, but was not coachable. Resistance told me that if I couldn’t help her, maybe I couldn’t really help anyone (no biggie, just 7 billion people on the planet).

- I started a gym membership at my dream gym. I have all their dvds and was SO excited for my first day – which turned out to be beyond humbling. Within the first hour, I managed to hit an unsuspecting classmate in the face, myself in the face, and fall on my face. There is a big part of me that’s tempted to think I’ll never get it right.

And, a few others.

Obviously, it hasn’t been a gracious process. And obviously, these are what we’d call quality problems. However, I think it’s important to remember when we ask for help in healing a pattern, we are also asking for help in healing the resistance that perpetuates the pattern. Which means we have to face it. So, it’s not the logistics of changing the pattern, it’s the emotion of the resistance that hold us back.

And I’ll be totally honest – a LOT of self judgment has come up for me. I am not always nice to myself, but right now I am committed to shifting my focus when these things come up – and if I’m going to be stubborn, it’s going to be about something that serves me and therefore others.

So, I wrote the blog and let it be whatever came out.

I committed myself to sharing what it was I’m going through and living more out loud – as Jody inspired me to do, and I honor him through loving Mastin, who everyday embodies this.

I continued to serve my clients to the best of my ability. And you know what? They are falling in love, getting their dream jobs, starting their own businesses, and joining their own gyms. And they are happy.

I went back to the gym and I didn’t fall this time (I did hit myself again – but hey, it’s a process).

So, while I set out to change the way I do things, what I was looking for in the first place has begun to change as well.

How can YOU keep going when things get tricky? What pattern are you ready to break? What opportunity is the Uni-verse bringing you right now to break it?

I want to know!

All my Love,

Jenna

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Jenna Hall is an actress, opera singer, Reiki Master, and Senior Daily Love Mentor. She is also the resident Boo at TDL.

Follow her on twitter here: @seejennalove

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Suebabe25

I too face a challenge of running out of money. And I am trying to change the way I think about it. Things are moving, I recieved a bonus but in the same day my daughter dropped her phone and broke it. There goes the bonus. I feel I am persistent and soon will find the correct pattern that will break this pattern of lack. Sue
- Hippygeekgirl
  
  You can look at it as, “I got a bonus, she dropped her phone, bye bonus.” Or you can look at it as, “She dropped the phone and miraculously I was given what I needed to cover that unexpected expense.”
Gailasher

Thank you for your blog. I too have a pattern of starting things and not following through with them when I don’t get results right away. Then I look for the next thing that will be the “right ” thing, start that and stop once again when I don’t get instant results. What this does is keep me stuck and cause me to feel bad about myself. I am working at sticking to believing that I am enough as I am …..it sounds rather simple but for me it is not. Pushing through the resistance that tries to stop me from staying on course is difficult but I am working on it. I just keep bringing myself back, when ever I seem to be weakening. I am excited to be finally addressing this issue. Good luck to us all!
Pamela Grieco

Jenna,
Just found you through Mastin – The Daily Love.
I want to honor you for being so honest in this post - it shows us that we are not in this alone!

I have a tip for you —— post a picture of me where you can see it everyday. It will serve as a reminder to you of what will happen if you continue to “stop when it gets hard”. I have done it all my life and here I sit at the age of 54 with my magic still inside……sobering thought huh?

As a win-win for both of us, I will post your pic where I can see it everyday as inspiration to ME that I need to stop-the-stopping……. just like you.

Taking baby steps toward living out loud.
Pam
- Kimbos27
  
  When I came across this, I actually really needed to read this today. I do the same things. I tend to get overwhelmed, anxiety kicks in and pretty soon I am talking myself out of what it is I need to get done. So even though its hard, I need to face the fear, because what the fear has been acclomplished, what an amazing feeling of ” I did it” and there after reading this today, I am happy to read I am not alone…
  
  Kim
Drew

Hi Jenna!
There is SUCH BEAUTY in your honesty and expression…. its SO inspiring!! I too have hit several walls of frustration and odd circumstances since working with your Mastin. But just like you, I power through those rough spots (even though it stinks sometimes..) and gracefully make out waaay better than I thought. It so good to know Im not the only one who cant find a place to “hide”! See you soon!
All my Love
Drew
http://thejourneytolearnacceptance.blogspot.com/ Nina

What a great post! I’m experiencing this right now, myself. I’ve
dedicated myself to breaking through some tough fear habits, and just
yesterday I had a nail in my tire and put those thoughts to the test. Normally I probably would have been
angry, anxious and stressed out all day, but not this time. I accepted
the situation for what it was, and instead of worrying about my whole
day being side-tracked and the complications that followed, I simple
“showed up” for the situation put in front of me. I let go of the fear,
which opened me up to Love. So instead of being miserable, I was able to
actually enjoy the day, and notice all the little things that went
RIGHT. I felt lucky that the situation wasn’t worse than it was; I felt
lucky that I was able to enjoy the unusually warm weather while I was
out dealing with my car instead of sitting in a cubicle. It’s all about
how you perceive the situation, and if you choose to let go of your
fears, suddenly you notice all the Love the Uni-verse is bringing to
you.

Good luck on your journey! You’re doing great!

Much love,
Nina
http://thejourneytolearnacceptance.blogspot.com
lizilynx

My journey, a great part of which centers on my own transformation, thereby keeping me on track to being of service & living full-out at my highest potential, is so similar to yours, Jenna, as far as pushing through the resistance that comes up! A friend shared a challenge that she had set for herself: to face everything and avoid nothing. Yes, a beautiful powerful self-challenge, full of clarity of intention, not turning away from what’s coming up – just like your (my paraphrase) “There is no place to hide that will lead to happiness.” Your commitment, willingness and using your “stubbornness” as ferocious tenacity, Loving yourself through those times when “stuff gets hard!” YES! “It’s the emotion of the resistance that hold us back.” This is my experience, too. I Love your tenacity in picking yourself up after ‘a lesson’ “beyond humbling!”

When I ask The Uni-verse for help in co-creating a new pattern out and away from an old pattern that is the opposite of serving myself or others, It never lets me down – presenting multiple situations for me, (as long as I notice!) to learn this new pattern.

I really appreciate and am grateful for your vulnerable share and your process to moving forward into evolving into the choice you desire! Your experience that this “sounds really beautiful, it does not always feel or look so great” is my experience, too. It IS a PROCESS! I so honor your commitment, willingness and shifting your focus to self-Love when self-judgment shows up!

I have been asking The Uni-verse to help me break up my own pattern of resistance. And YES! It has presented many opportunities for me to really “own” how I have placed myself in a ‘prison’ of my own making and is helping me to co-create a way to liberating myself, moving into fully evolving into the person I came here to be.

I’m looking forward to your continuing share on progress in this process, and THANK YOU for bringing us along on your journey and lighting the way for mine!! )
- Michellebenson21
  
  Thanks for this…I took notes. xo
http://twitter.com/CAG_Style Charles G.

Thank you Jenna, for this blog post It feels good to know that others deal with the same issues that can potientially hold us back (if we let it.). I tend to start many ‘great’ projects only to never complete them. Much like yourself, I usually ‘break’ when it starts to get challenging or difficult. Your post was a good reminder that in order to get away from your sh!t you have to face it and change how you view it. Thanks again.
Kim K

I am going through the exact same process right now Jenna. And unfortunately, or fortunately, it has been just as challenging. I am taking the CA bar for the third time, actually studying and pushing myself when it gets hard, but in the meantime I have had plenty of grown-up temper tantrums about why it’s too hard, does it matter, I’m too old, etc. Basically acting like a full-fledged nut! I’m also working on getting healthy and in shape …for me. But I’m sore, slow, uncoordinated….you get the gist. But even though I’m tired, I’m stubborn and I know in my heart, it is the right path. So like you, I’m pushing forward and just doing whatever is my best that day. Just wanted to let you know that you have company. Hugs!
http://dyannebrown.com/ dyannebrown

Great post! I have figured out that whenever I decided that I am going to make a change that means that I have to face a test. It’s almost as if the Uni-verse is saying, “are you sure?” As you said, I’m going to be given a chance to make the new choice instead of reverting back. In order to do that, I have to face the resistance that has kept me doing what I am doing and that is the challenge. The grace I allow myself is that I allow myself to make mistakes, to be scared and I remember that if I mess up that I can try again. I used to have a critical voice that would judge me harshly. The hardest thing I’ve done is not to face the things I fear, but to get that voice on my side. If you can turn your inner critic into your inner cheerleader, you have faced half the battle. The way I did that was by telling my inner critic that I appreciated its efforts, but I didn’t need it to protect me anymore. Now, the voice in my head says, “Ok, Beloved, you didn’t do it this time. You’ll do it next time. Renew your choice to change.” Thank you for sharing and I’m so glad you completed your post.
- TEXAS
  
  Wow!!!!! Thanks for that insight….So true
  for me.Facing that inner critic voice,is terrible
  but you have given me a positive spin when it
  is sure to bring me down.Even brought tears to
  my eyes when you spoke loving to that negative
  voice because after all that is what “saved” us
  in our childhood.And the word Beloved brings
  me to tears because that is truly what we are
  but I seldom let that be,and really feel all that stands
  for.BLESS YOU.
  - http://dyannebrown.com/ dyannebrown
    
    Thank you. Bless you too.
Jacqi

Thanks Jenna. The self-judgement I experience when I cannot accept what IS or someone for who they ARE can seriously challenge me. I become completely intolerant of myself for not being able to do “better”. I have learned , in those moments, to get down on my knees ( sometimes literally) and give it over to the my higher/holy self. I used to perceive this moment as a moment of weakness, pleading the Uni-verse to “help me”. NOW I see this act as a complete moment of STRENGTH. I am willing with every fiber of my being to heal this now and have faith that I am heard and IT IS SO. Thanks for the blog and reminding me that I AM strong and unwavering in my Faith.
Zoraya R.

I keep going when things get tricky by focusing on the outcome before I even see or get to it. There are so many patterns I am ready to break and right now the main one is being stuck on the negative. I am over constantly blaming myself for all that goes wrong and now focusing on what I can take from the situation and take that into my much more positive future. It’s hard on some days and that’s ok.

I now believe my marriage ending is a doing of the Uni-verse and it is for more than one reason. The main reason was so that I no longer love others more than myself. I now have all the time in the world to love me first and with that learn to love others better.

Thanks for your honesty Jenna. And keep at it!

Love, Z
- Michellebenson21
  
  wow, love myself more than others (him)…i need that lesson…seems i’m going thru the same challenge as you. good luck. xo
Guest

The Uni-Verse is so right on time, all the time. I lost a lot of weight, and have been slowly gaining it back. I keep praying for help,, and resisting eating well and working out. Self-judgement ensues and the cycle continues. Thank you!
guest

I get into times that I want to just involve myself in work and other times I just don’t want to – just want to sit around or just do cleaning or what not. Right now my mom is visiting us for five weeks and my husband and I are in the middle of putting up a deal for a house. I have been doing the researching, talking to lenders, talking to family and everyone about this – and when I relay all this information to my husband and my mother they look at me like I am dumb and I don’t know what I am talking about. But it gets hard when they both look at each other – give a look at one another that I am crazy and don’t say anything else – looks say it all. And it is getting to me so much. I get into patterns of building up my anger inside me and at one point I will soon break – go into tears and start yelling.

But what can you do? I hate it.
Billie

Thanks so much for this post! I am having a really hard time right now in my relationship and I really want to run and give up because that’s what I’ve always done. I needed to hear this today so thank you for being honest and vulnerable with what you are going through. It takes courage to be able to call yourself out. I really appreciate it.
#1 TEXAS FAN

Jenna,you keep being real and “from the
heart”& you will go far.I have been a reader
of TDL for several months and have been
blessed with being introduced to some awe-
inspiring life coaches.Sometimes it is even
like overload because the Universe is Saturated
with them right now.
Before I read your first blog but knew you
were Mastins’ girlfriend I thought “great”isn’t
this convienent…..(very skeptical)
Well I am eating CROW and proud to admit
it! Your first time brought me to tears,made
me feel I had known you forever.I am pleased
everytime I see you have contributed to that
day.This one also is touching my soul.Not only
because it brings up some of my truths I try to
sweep under the rug,but you put your TRUTH
out there,even when it is embarrassing,and
(lol)not befitting a “mentor”.I forget that just
because your a lifecoach,counselor,psychologist
you DON’T have all the answers.You are not
perfect.We all are and will be a work in progress
until we take our last breath.
Never forget or lose your vulnerability,humanity
or humility because I have learned that is where
we find the deepest connections.Not with our
perfections but our defects do we affect the masses.
I love to be shown to be wrong,especially when
in that space I am shown some of Gods greatest
stars,and my dear you are one of them!You are
surely a name that will be known for making a difference.
So I APOLOGIZE,for JUDGING you.
You stand alone all by yourself !
Your #1 FAN / in TEXAS
Jessa

I love that you’re blogging now. I’ve always been curious about the Jenna that Mastin is always referring to. And I’m so glad that even though it’s hard you shared because your posts resonate with me so well. Right now, I feel like it’s REALLY hard because I’ve received some massive rejection these past few days. Two big projects that I’ve been working hard on, spent a lot of time and money on were passed over. I know it’s not personal but it feels personal. And it’s one of those things where you get a nice letter and you can’t go back and ask how you can fix it because in the letter they ask you NOT to send follow-up. I’ve been feeling a bit discouraged and it’s showing up everywhere now. I didn’t follow up on several leads, I missed a grant deadline, I’m just not wanting to face more rejection. I don’t remember saying it, but I must’ve asked for a way to learn to accept rejection. And now I’m getting a serious lesson. So what do you do when you’re turned down for something? I mean like the first nurturing thing you do after a rejection. Any tips for me? Thanks so much for this blog!
Mseifert626

Wow…isn’t self-awareness just the coolest thing ever? This theme of staying present and working through the hard stuff and showing up is very strong for me and a lot of people I know right now. I love what you say about it not being a change in logistics of the pattern (controlling the outside) but attending to the resistance ( witnessing the internal struggle) that truly matters. And amen to being stubborn in a way that serves our highest good and therefore others. Such good stuff, thank you for sticking it out and writing this post!