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One of the interesting things about being in the unique position that I am in here at TDL is that I get to receive all kinds of feedback and emails and tweets and comments from folks.
Everything from praise to blame to love to hate and all kinds of stuff in between.
And it’s awesome to be able to see the diversity of the community.
What’s interesting is my reaction to this diversity. I remember the very first time I ever wrote something of my own in a Daily Love email, some of my readers thought I was arrogant to quote myself.
Other people Loved it!
And that started the conversation between me and the amazing Daily Lovers out there. What’s most interesting to me though is that I could get a bunch of emails praising TDL and my writing, but I always tend to focus on the negative emails. And for the first few years, I would take them SO personally.
And I would ignore or discount the positive emails. Then over time, I started getting more and more positive praise and more negative feedback as well. And what started to happen is that I started to BELIEVE the positive and ignore the negative.
And that didn’t feel authentic to me. So I started to believe the positive and engage the negative. Anytime someone writes in with a negative comment and I see it, I do my best to respond with a question. Because deep down most negative comments and emails come from folks who just want to be seen or acknowledged. I’ve been able to turn around 99% of the negative comments through asking questions and diving deeper into what people actually believe. This has been helpful because now I do not take the negative comments personally.
But then I started to look at myself. And I saw that I was no longer taking the negative comments personally, but I was still taking the positive comments personally. And so I stopped that as well.
I realized that everyone is engaging me the best they can from their own point of view. Praise and blame are all equal and only feedback, not truth.
My aim is to simply serve, do my work and not take the praise or blame personally. I certainly appreciate positive feedback and Love to hear the negative, too – because it helps me to make TDL better. But what I’m doing now is trying my best to not let the positive or the negative define me.
TDL has millions of Readers, which means that there are millions of opinions out there about TDL, me and the community. And none of them – positive or negative, define me. That is an inside job. And it’s hard, but I’m doing my best to get there.
You may or may not have an audience of millions – but when you think about praise and blame in your life – what would your life be like if you didn’t take either personally and defined yourself from within? I’m curious.
As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!