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Embrace An Easy And Affectionate Relationship With Your Many Flaws – Duality Is The Paradox Of Life!

I am on course all weekend for my Professional Co-Active Coaches (CPCC) certification.

What came up for me today was the duality and paradox of life.

A “river” is a continual change of flowing water around and over an ever-changing bed of rocks, pebbles and earth. The millisecond that milliliter of water passes over a specific point on the journey of its flow, it is never, ever the same thing again.  An entirely new milliliter of water that melted from a different drop of ice on a glacier or from a completely different raindrop from a storm, now replaces it and the current may have altered its course over and around a different pebble.  So naming a river a river is paradoxical because it is never the same thing, not even for a millisecond!

It’s in a “constant” state of change!  — Which is in itself is paradoxical because how can change be “constant?”

The concept of the thing we call “time management” is another paradox. Time is ever-changing and is a phenomenon that is impossible to control and difficult to understand. Where does it originate from and how is it really measured in the broader Uni-verse? Our 24 hour days and 365 day years are only relevant on this tiny planet, which is one of a gazillion planets, which all have a completely different relationship to time. So to think that we can manage time is laughable!  If anything it should be called “self-management” because how we manage ourselves is the only way we can effect change within the framework of what we understand as time.

For most of my life I struggled with the duality of good and bad, right and wrong, righteous and evil. My world seemed very black and white. I was either one or the other. I was either living in my power and in the light, or I was shamed into the shadows of my darkness where I needed to hide and deny my unworthiness.  The paradox is that I will never reach a place of worthiness when I come from a place of unworthiness, so the resolve is to embrace my duality and realize that I am worthy in the eyes of The Uni-verse, regardless of my tendency to define myself by my feelings of unworthiness.

Most of us can easily forgive others and accept the beauty in all their paradox.

We need to flip the law “do unto others as you would do to yourself” to “do unto yourself as you would do to others” so that we can readily forgive and accept our own flaws.

So could you fully step into embracing your own duality and paradox?

Could you risk having an easy and affectionate relationship with your many flaws?

Could you accept your worthiness in the eyes of The Uni-verse, regardless of your feelings of unworthiness?

Let me know. Leave a comment below.

Much Love & Welcome Home,

Ryf

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Ryf Van Rij is a coach and creator of “The Daily Way Home.”  He has also been an Actor, a Commercial Pilot, a Business Co-Owner and an Events Coordinator at a Major City Art Gallery.

  • Ali

    I think you need to totally embrace your duality since it’s your duality that allows you to experience the myriad of thoughts and emotions. You wouldn’t be able to experience any postive emotion with out experiencing its negative opposite.

    I believe that some are naturally drawn to one side vs another, but the beauty is, it’s ultimately a choice.

    But I also believe that the ‘dark’ side needs to pop up and rear it’s ugly head every once in a while…after all it is a part of you. For me, when ever I’m in a dark place I tell myself the quote by Albert Camus: “In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there was an invincible summer” and I know that the darkness is momentary and the light is always there, and will shine once again.

    • Ryf

      Hi Ali,

      I Agree we all have many parts to us that make up the whole. To deny our darkness is to deny some of the parts that make up the magnificent” imperfection” that is our “perfection.”

      When I accepted my imperfection, it was the beginning of my Journey Home to freedom!

      Peace,

      Ryf

  • Ali

    I think you need to totally embrace your duality since it’s your duality that allows you to experience the myriad of thoughts and emotions. You wouldn’t be able to experience any postive emotion with out experiencing its negative opposite.

    I believe that some are naturally drawn to one side vs another, but the beauty is, it’s ultimately a choice.

    But I also believe that the ‘dark’ side needs to pop up and rear it’s ugly head every once in a while…after all it is a part of you. For me, when ever I’m in a dark place I tell myself the quote by Albert Camus: “In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there was an invincible summer” and I know that the darkness is momentary and the light is always there, and will shine once again.

    • Ryf

      Hi Ali,

      I Agree we all have many parts to us that make up the whole. To deny our darkness is to deny some of the parts that make up the magnificent” imperfection” that is our “perfection.”

      When I accepted my imperfection, it was the beginning of my Journey Home to freedom!

      Peace,

      Ryf

  • Marinova44

    Yes is the answer to all your questions at the end – but it requires training the mind because we train and reinforce the opposite every other moment in the world where we have defined and are constantly reminded of concepts of time management, criteria for worthiness, and the concepts of flaws.

    Thanks for your post!

    • Ryf

      Hi Marinova,

      I take it even a step further.  Your mind is perfect already. Training sound like  a chore!  I  say “unsubscribe” to all the story that’s not aligned to you and Source. Get in touch with Source daily, get out of the way and all the support you need will rush in to affirm your magnificence. 

      I say ‘Opt Out” of the nonsense that was projected onto us that was not ours and is totally unrelated to reality.
       
      Onwards,

      Ryf.

  • Marinova44

    Yes is the answer to all your questions at the end – but it requires training the mind because we train and reinforce the opposite every other moment in the world where we have defined and are constantly reminded of concepts of time management, criteria for worthiness, and the concepts of flaws.

    Thanks for your post!

    • Ryf

      Hi Marinova,

      I take it even a step further.  Your mind is perfect already. Training sound like  a chore!  I  say “unsubscribe” to all the story that’s not aligned to you and Source. Get in touch with Source daily, get out of the way and all the support you need will rush in to affirm your magnificence. 

      I say ‘Opt Out” of the nonsense that was projected onto us that was not ours and is totally unrelated to reality.
       
      Onwards,

      Ryf.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002718711946 River Ashley

     Thankyou for your post today,it inspired me to write this:

    I live another day.

    You didn’t stop ~ You didn’t run.
    You didn’t stop ~ You held the gun.

    You didn’t stop ~ You didn’t say.

    You didn’t stop ~ You let me play.

    A part that never fitted me.

    A lie that almost crippled me.

    Yet the light lives on inside of me.

    I live another day.

    • Ryf Van Rij

      Hi River,

      I LOVE YOUR NAME! And wow what a powerful poem. Could I please use it as one of my daily quotes. It really reminds me that if you can just move through the pain of the past, “A part that never fitted you, A lie that almost crippled you,” the rewards are immeasurable.

      Your gift is your poetry!

      Much Love

      Ryf.

    • Ryf

      Hi River,

      I LOVE YOUR NAME!  And wow what a powerful poem. Could I please use it as one of my daily quotes. It really reminds me that if you can just move through the pain of the past, “A part that never fitted you, A lie that almost crippled you,” the rewards are immeasurable.

      Your gift is your poetry!

      Much Love

      Ryf.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002718711946 River Ashley

        Hi Ryf,

        Yes :) …my name, Tehe… it was like i was meant to read your post from the start.
         
        Thanks for the compliment.It would be an honour for you to use my poem.

         Its the second poem I have written since i began writting again 2 weeks ago.

        The strength of my “clearing out” put a halt to my creative exspression 8 years ago as it took all my available strenght to go within and face the demons…so its feels so good to be creativly sparked and writting again.

        Thanks Ryf .

        Best Wishes ~ River.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002718711946 River Ashley

           If you would like to read the first Poem…

          Down on my knee’s ~ screaming please.

          If your real ~ why can’t I feel?

          Course through my veins ~ Ignite me inside.

          Teach me loves meaning.

          Free me to fly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002718711946 River Ashley

     Thankyou for your post today,it inspired me to write this:

    I live another day.

    You didn’t stop ~ You didn’t run.
    You didn’t stop ~ You held the gun.

    You didn’t stop ~ You didn’t say.

    You didn’t stop ~ You let me play.

    A part that never fitted me.

    A lie that almost crippled me.

    Yet the light lives on inside of me.

    I live another day.

    • Ryf

      Hi River,

      I LOVE YOUR NAME!  And wow what a powerful poem. Could I please use it as one of my daily quotes. It really reminds me that if you can just move through the pain of the past, “A part that never fitted you, A lie that almost crippled you,” the rewards are immeasurable.

      Your gift is your poetry!

      Much Love

      Ryf.

  • http://www.facebook.com/akash.issar Akash Issar

    we all have flaws. I do and i had always tried to fight it by being someone else, acting and pretending to behave and be someone I am not. But all that 
    façade  became exhausting, and I had a wake up call: I am ‘Uni-que’!. from head to toe I am different and there ain’t no one like me in this world. so why am i trying to be someone else?!…. plus, “Oprah’s life-class” really helped to be my highest self. RYF, what you’ve written is so heart-warming, and that I embrace all my flaws, and treat them as gifts to my presence in the present!!  

    • Ryf Van Rij

      Hi Akash,

      Yes its like a “get out of jail free” card when we realize that the only thing that matters is getting into alignment with our true selves and to our understanding of Source/Higher Power/Universe/God. Because then the perspectives of Society, Religion, Family and Friends have no effect on you when their perspectives are out of alignment with you inner divinity and Source. For me its the ultimate freedom that I have been searching for all my life! But you have to really know this and embody it and own it before it becomes more than just words. I honor your journey as you navigate “Road less Traveled.”

      Much Love,
      Ryf

    • Ryf

      Go Akash,

      Your words resonate right of the page! And I can feel that this truth has sunk into your DNA! You are blessed my friend. It took me half my life time and a nuclear meltdown to realize I was OK by Source and that the perspectives of others were none of my business especially when they were so out of alignment we me and my Higher Power. 

      And you would be sending the world have the gift of you if you chose to edit out the flaws.

      Very inspiring. I am excited for you and your journey.

      Salam Alikom 

  • http://www.facebook.com/akash.issar Akash Issar

    we all have flaws. I do and i had always tried to fight it by being someone else, acting and pretending to behave and be someone I am not. But all that 
    façade  became exhausting, and I had a wake up call: I am ‘Uni-que’!. from head to toe I am different and there ain’t no one like me in this world. so why am i trying to be someone else?!…. plus, “Oprah’s life-class” really helped to be my highest self. RYF, what you’ve written is so heart-warming, and that I embrace all my flaws, and treat them as gifts to my presence in the present!!  

    • Ryf

      Go Akash,

      Your words resonate right of the page! And I can feel that this truth has sunk into your DNA! You are blessed my friend. It took me half my life time and a nuclear meltdown to realize I was OK by Source and that the perspectives of others were none of my business especially when they were so out of alignment we me and my Higher Power. 

      And you would be sending the world have the gift of you if you chose to edit out the flaws.

      Very inspiring. I am excited for you and your journey.

      Salam Alikom